Friday Though : What we Focus on is what we See.

Just recently, while on a layover at the O’Hare Chicago airport, I overheard a man thanking the gentleman who was cleaning the urinals, and I was jolted for a moment. We don’t often see the man who cleans the toilets. Even less do we hear them thanked for their services.

But in that moment, I was aware of both. I was also suddenly aware of just how clean my urinal was.

On my way out, I too thanked the man for his diligence, and ever since, I’ve been trying to be more aware of those who selflessly and scrupulously serve my school and community, many of whom do so in the dark of the early morning or long after the last student has left for the day. Like the bus drivers who wake up extra early on October winter mornings and ensure our kids get safely and on time.

There are others too, of course. Like the kitchen staff and crossing guards, the engineers or custodians, and of course the office or support staff who are often unnoticed in their efforts because we have become accustomed to their presence and the role they play in ensuring our schools run so smoothly.  They aren’t ignored, but they aren’t fully seen either. Until they are absent. Until the many little things that they do so quietly and without applause or Facebook posts are left undone. Then, suddenly (and continuously), we are reminded that things don’t just happen on their own, that there are people working diligently behind the scenes, and that they desperately matter.

That what I’ve been thinking about this week. What am I focusing on? And what am I not seeing? In my home, my community, and in my school. Who is right in front of me yet not fully seen?

Or, when considering my students, what about them do I focus on (because it is obvious and consistent) yet fail to see? Because yes, that child is frustrating and rude and often struggles to follow our school-wide norms, but is that all that he or she is? Because if that is what I am focused on it will also be all that I see. And they are so much more than those mere behaviors.

For as my good friend recently said, “If all we see is the ugly in a person, we’re not looking hard enough.”

All of this, in a week where I stumbled across the inspiring story of Trea Turner, a baseball player in Philadelphia whose disastrous season was turned around by a standing ovation he did not deserve, have brought me to a goal for the month of November: Acknowledge the behavior; Applaud the potential.

For that student who is a constant disruption, we must focus on the behavior and acknowledge it as inappropriate. But we also need to see their whole person. Their gifts, their hopes, their potential, and we must applaud the hell out of them whenever possible. We must see all of them, and we must choose to love them entirely.

For that student who is excellent. Who gets straight A’s and volunteers for every student-lead club. We need to focus on their behavior and acknowledge its greatness. We need to applaud their potential to impact their community and future world, but we must also see the whole person. Their struggles, anxieties, and fears, and we need them to know that it is safe to be imperfect. We are still there for them, applauding our faces off, because we love them entirely.

For although we are focused on their behavior, we see their entire person. That is our focus for the month of November, and I am so excited to see what will come of it!

Then, just yesterday, on my drive home from a perfectly imperfect educational week, it dawned on me . . . Does this not also apply to my staff? My family? And to the man who cleans the urinals at the airport? Does it not apply the the stranger on the streets or the neighbor across the street?

Does it not apply to the face I see in the mirror, every single friggen morning?

What I focus on is what I see. And I want to be more intentional about seeing so more! About celebrating more, forgiving more, and applauding more. Because that’s what brings us together and inspires people to better. That’s what encourages us to be human.

That's what I've been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

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Friday Thought : What is the Origin?

"What's the origin?"

Oftentimes there are themes to my weeks. Be it from conversations, podcasts, books, whatever, every now and then a very specific theme arises in a short period of time. This past week the theme has been centered on how we interpret the actions of others, and more importantly, how we respond to them.

For me, it is all too easy to fill in the gaps of unknowns with assumptions. When someone says an unkind thing or acts in a somewhat offensive way, I get defensive, argumentative, and - at my worst - judgmental. I fill in what I don't know with what I assume, and falsely attribute someone's actions to their (therefore assumed) faulty character.

Yet, when I dig in, when I sit and chat and seek further understanding, I am often provided an entirely different - and much more accurate - picture of understanding.

In a recent conversation with a friend, he encouraged me to ask and consider, "What is the origin?" of someone's actions, and I have truly appreciated that perspective.

This month, the month of GRATITUDE, one way we can continue to show and pursue a grateful spirit is by appreciating the power and opportunities we have of asking, "What is the origin?"

When a child acts up or lashes out . . . "What is the origin?"

When a coworker responds with sharpness or is curt . . . "What is the origin?"

When a spouse greets us as we walk through the door with a scowl instead of a smile, consider the origin rather than jump to conclusions (Not speaking from experience . . . not at all! ;)

Oftentimes, when we seek to understand the story behind the action, we find that there is a great deal of "shtuff" happening beneath the surface and behind closed doors. When we discover more of the story, oftentimes we find that, instead of frustration, we cling to grace and EMPATHY because - just like us - their intentions were in the right place, they just didn't have the capacity to endure one. more. thing.

And in that, we can all relate.

"What is the origin?"

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

Happy Friday!

#doGREATthings!

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Friday Thought : "What's best for the student?" Pictures and Stories.

A few days ago, when discussing options to a difficult situation, my boss asked, me, “What’s best for the student?”

With that simple question, she eliminated so much confusion and consternation, as well as all excuses. No longer were my feelings or wants part of the discussion, nor anyone else’s, just the needs of the student. And within a short while, we had a solution to our problem.

There are many motivators in life that inspire or encourage us in our decision making. The most common being rooted in selfish ambition and vain conceit - whatever makes life easiest, whatever makes us look or feel better, makes us popular or liked, and whatever allows for personal advancement. And the problem with these foundational motivators is not only that they produce comfort rather than growth, its that they are decisions that willingly sacrifice the needs and growth of others.

And we are all guilty of it. At least I know I am. Which is why I truly appreciate a boss who grounds me back to why we are here and do what we do: to love and support kids.

Its also why the above picture is so important because it is a powerful reminder to me, to us - educators, leaders, parents, adults - that we are here in our positions for the purpose of helping, guiding, and training those who need helping, guiding, and training.

We are here to help others.

Pictures of our kiddos hanging on the wall can help remind and reground us. So too can unexpected visits.

Inspired by the above picture and conversations with my boss, I have recently been inviting high school students to come back to our elementary and share a few of their favorite stories. “Whatever you remember,” I tell them, “be it funny, sad, or seemingly insignificant, just share a few of your favorite memories from elementary.”

One student shared about the time he and his friend (the son of one of my students) got in trouble for drawing the male anatomy in the snow during recess.

Another student shared about the time she was struggling and a teacher knelt down to her level, affirmed and encouraged her, then hugged her. Tears flooded her eyes as she expressed how important that moment was for her, then and now.

Others simply shared how teachers made them feel. How they loved their classes not because of the content but because of them, the teacher.

Like pictures on a wall, hearing the stories of our recently departed students has been a tangible reminder that in the midst of data discussions, state testing requirements, and exhausting weeks of hard conversations, there are students in our classrooms who need to be loved and supported. There are students who are showing up with heavy hearts, distracted minds, and empty bellies. There are students who are coming to our school who, that very day, will encounter a moment that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.

And that, more than anything else, should be enough to inspire us into hard conversations and purposeful solutions.

To paraphrase Andy Jacks in Discipline Win, Our legacy is defined by how we support our students. They are the reason why we are here and the WHY to our decisions, and it is therefore they who should be plastered on our walls and the forefront of our minds. Not ourselves.

“What’s best for the student?” my boss asked me. Recently, the answer has been to remind myself and my staff that at the heart of everything we say and do, it is our students who will suffer the consequences or reap the benefits of our decision making.

And that, for me at least, has been a much needed grounding and what has been on my mind lately.

Happy Friday!!!

#DOGREATTHINGS!!!

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Friday Thought : The "Drive-Through School Days." A time to dig in and cover ground.

“This is my favorite time of year,” one of my teachers recently told me, “because it’s when you really begin to see the growth and development of students, and that is so rewarding!”

Typically, the days between January through mid March are considered the doldrums of education. There are very few major holidays to celebrate which in turn means very few days off, parties, and “things to look forward to.” There’s just time.

Which, if embraced, can make it the most productive and most memorable time of the year! But only if we are intentional, like a good road trip, and take advantage of those “drive-through states.”

My family loves road trips. And each summer, on our way to some far-off destination, we have a stretch of time where very little is accomplished but wracking up the miles. We start early and drive late, stop as little as possible, crank up the music, and talk. We spend time together. And after years of this routine, with a bucket full of memories and destinations reached, what we think about and miss the most on any given day is the time spent in the car.

Our schools and classrooms should be no different.

As our students look towards the next destination of spring, spring break, and the coming summer, take advantage of these “drive-through school days” by digging in and covering ground. Of your content for sure, but also of your students, your staff.

On Instruction:

When it comes to instruction, embrace the long road ahead. Consistency builds routines, and with it comes the opportunity to push a little harder and go a little further. Like those long stretches of road without stop lights, rest stops, or distractions, where we can set the cruise to 75, 80, and at times even 85 (because there is nothing to brake for), so too can our attention to instruction be.

Once we’ve reestablished the expectations of our classrooms, we can up our game a bit, push a little harder, and travel a little further. We can cover ground! And I don’t know about you, but when I arrive at my destination several minutes before the GPS’s “estimated time of arrival,” I feel like I’ve won the Daytona 500. My kids do too because arriving early means an opportunity to explore the campground or jump in the lake. It means time to play.

Cannot our schools and classrooms do the same? Can we not take advantage of routines, amp up our cruise control, and cover ground?

Then, when we arrive at our destination early, can we not provide opportunities for our students - and ourselves - to explore? To play?

On Relationships:

On our road trips, the “drive-through states” also provide us a unique opportunity to be with our kids. The seating arrangement becomes a musical chairs of sorts, allowing various combinations of conversations and activities. Sometimes, thought, we sit in silence. At other times we blare music, with each kiddo and parent taking their turn choosing a song. At all times, however, we are together. And often times, it is these days, with nothing going on and no adventure to explore that we love and miss the most.

For our schools, our classrooms, these days are no different.

There’s a podcast I listen to called, The Second Question and it’s host, Martin Silverman, is a principal in Texas. He ends each episode by asking his guest who their most inspirational teacher was. And almost systematically, the answer will sound something like this: “I don’t remember anything they taught me, but what I do remember . . .” And then they will speak - in detail - about a moment where the teacher invested in them, took notice of them, and spoke into their lives. These moments, as far as I can tell, never occur during a Christmas concert or holiday party. They occur during normal and unnoteworthy days, where “nothing is going on.” Nothing except teachers showing up, being intentional about their time, and investing in their students.

These coming “drive-through school days” are the days you will see your students and staff most consistently, with minimal interruptions. Are you taking advantage of it? Are you showing up with intentionality and purpose?

Because how we spend these days determines how we arrive at our final destination.

We take pictures of monumental occasions, post them on our Instagram, and hang them on our walls. But it the journey, the unique moments and unplanned events and conversations along the way that we end up talking about around campfires and remembering most in the years that follow. It is the routine of showing up and being present, day-after-day, that connects us with those around us, that inspires change, and impacts lives. It is the journey, not the destination, that matters most.

How are you spending your time with your drive-through days?

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Friday Thought : The Least of These

A slide from the same presentation by Dr. Andy Jacks (@_AndyJacks)

This, roughly, is a quote from this past weekend. "Your school should be judged by the way it treats the least of these."

It is often said that great teachers - great schools - make their decisions based upon their best students, teachers. And I fully stand by that. When we create lesson plans, when we consider the future of our school, it is the best students, the best teachers, that dictate what we will and won’t do, can and can’t do. We make decisions based on the top students and teachers, not the least common denominator.

And this is where the above quote convicted and challenged me this past week, because I desperately want my school to be considered the best, to lead the state and the nation in academics and excellence! Yet, ultimately, that is not how we will be judged, how we should be judged. If we have the highest GPA’s and ACT score but graduate jerks and kids who are not considerate of others, we have failed. And everyone will know it.

How we treat those kids who are at the bottom of the social ladder (be it academic, financial, popularity, whatever) is what defines us as a person, and us as a school. Do we spend extra time on some kids, and less on others? Do we send some parents emails and neglect others? Are we kinder, more patient with some kids and not with others?

If we’re honest, or at least if I am, the answer is yes. At least sometimes, anyway, and not because I like one kid more than another or because I think one has more value than another. But because, largely, the kids who have better home lives, more supportive parents, or more stable living conditions (generally) work harder, are more polite, and are better students. They’re easier to work with. Easier to spend time with. But they're also the ones that need us and our resources more.

“Are you spending as much time being concerned about and brainstorming ways to help a child’s behavior as you are a child’s reading or math scores?” This was another question posed, and I thought it a perfect distinction, or manifestation rather, of how we can love each child equally, yet differently, and according to their needs.

Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “Maslow before Bloom.” If not, it is simply implying that before we can work a child through the increasing stages of Bloom’s Taxonomy, we must first consider Maslow and the basic needs that each child must have in order to live. 

Just today, I saw this play out with a particular student who bombed a test. And I mean he BOMBED it. When he and it were brought to my attention, the student spent a good deal of time explaining the morning he had had the day of the test and how that difficulty, that upheaval of a morning affected his day and ability to work. We then spent a little bit of time discussing his emotions, his normal morning life, and how he could have handled those frustrations in the near future.  We spent time working through his Maslow needs: safety and love and belonging. And it only took about 10ish minutes.

Then, he retook the test and it was RADICALLY different. 

As teachers, as educators, we must always be pushing our students to achieve great things. We must never settle for mediocrity or ordinary - we aim towards and teach towards the best! But we also equally love on and support those who, for one reason or another, cannot achieve such great heights because their foundation of life - their basic needs - are absent or threatened. We reach and teach those kids, too.

We didn’t come to be teachers to serve and teach to the best of the best, but to change lives, to inspire lives worth living, and to improve the world around. Sometimes that means pushing the extremes of Bloom’s higher levels of Taxonomy. Other times, it is working through Maslow before attacking Bloom because that is what that kid needs, and because that is what we can provide. That’s why they call us teachers!

Although it is hard work, exhausting work, and at times extremely frustrating, it is the best work. 

It is a great time to be an Educator.

Friday Thought : They Make Us Better

Today, Thursday, was a bit rough.

With so many kids out for the Divisional Volleyball , I had great plans to get a LOT done. I even told myself on my walk to work, "It's going to be a quiet day!!!" Ten minutes after the morning bell, I had four kids in my office and I found myself barking at and getting extremely frustrated with the four often-times-offending culprits. What is so hard about following directions? I thought to myself, “How hard is it to be kind? Polite?” I said out loud and a bit louder than I intended.

Then, the volleyball team lost their third game to Augusta - a team they should have beaten handedly in three - and I was reminded of when I was a coach and how much I dreaded "easy" games because I knew, in many ways, those were the ones we could very easily lose because we just assumed we would win. I also dreaded those games because, as a team, we rarely got better. Often we got worse, and the ease with which we would score or steal the ball or rebound would enforce a false belief of how good we were. Difficult games, however, hard fought matches or underdog wins would do the complete opposite. They would force us to play harder, to fine-tune and fix the smallest of mistakes, to overcome our mental and physical exhaustion, and to work hard. Those games made us better. Better athletes, better coaches, and an overall better team.

I think the same could be said for teaching, principaling, and living in general.

Whenever something is easy (be it a class, a kid, or a goal), I can get lazy, complacent, or downright unmotivated because really all I have to do is show up and things will pretty much take care of themselves. (Maybe you can relate to this?) But when the obstacle or goal is tough, when the class is rowdy, the students are difficult, or the opponent extremely talented, I try my best. I get up earlier, plan for a few extra hours if not days in advance, and create a detailed plan of attack. In short, I rise to the occasion. I get better. (Maybe you can relate to this?)

You may have a particular grade or class that is hard, you probably have several students who grate on you and make each day difficult, and I can almost guarantee that with each looming break (Christmas and summer), kids get extra squirrelly, our patience a bit thin, and classes a bit more chaotic.

I also know it's all about perspective.

At the very least, these kids have the potential to make us better.They will require us to bring our best game, to consider new schemes and teaching practices, and they will force us to continually learn how to love and like people - to do what is best for people - even when we don't feel like it. In other words, they will make us better teachers, better leaders, and better people. Which, in turn, will allow us to teach and lead and inspire more people.

These are the victories that stay with use for years to come. Not the easy ones, the expected ones. It’s the hardest ones. Just like our volleyball girls who, yet again, took their rivals - the defending divisional and state champions to a five-game match and won!

These are the games that we remember. These are the games that make us better. Just like those difficult classes, those difficult students, and those difficult weeks. When we rise to the occasion, when we look on them as opportunities to improve and get better, we do! Then and only then, do we find ourselves at the end of the day, week, year holding on to memories that last a lifetime. Victories of changed and inspired lives. Victories that remind us of the very reason we became educators in the first place.

And that is an encouraging thought.

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