Yes to the Mess, by Frank J Barrett

“The only plan that is missing, it often seems, is the one for things as they actually happen” (pg 1).

“Organizations consist of a group of diverse specialists who, under great duress, make fast, irreversible decisions, are highly interdependent, are dedicated to creation and novelty, and act with little certainty where it’s all going to end up” (pg 2).

"{We} learn by leaping in and taking action before {we} have a well conceived plan” (pg 6).

“The goal of improvisation is to be mindful and creative, making up ideas on the spot that respond to what’s happening in the moment, but the road to mindful adapting leads through copying and imitating because, as every jazz player learns, there are times when your only choice is to fall back on the patterns you learned through mindless habit” (pg 7).

“In order for musicians and leaders to “strive a groove,” they must suspend some degree of control and surrender to the flow” (pg 8).

“Sometimes leadership means letting go of the dream of certainty, leaping in, acting first, and reflecting later on the impact of the action” (pg 11).

“If you’re not making a mistake, it’s a mistake” (pg 43).

“The teams reporting more errors were actually the ones with the strongest cultures and best leadership” (pg 53).

“When those with status are distant and intimidating, those beneath them are more likely to save face by hiding or ignoring errors” (pg 53).

“Organizations that fail to learn from errors become vulnerable to predictable surprises” (pg 54).

“I realized that things are going well when I’m the last one to know” (pg 59).

“To become a full human being, we must commit to action, practice new skills, and put ourselves at risk of public failure. Only through such full engagement is a meaningful life possible” (pg 62).

Jamming happens spontaneously, whenever two or three or (best-case scenario) a dozen or more are joined in common purpose, common practice, and common desire to raise the bar for everyone involved” (pg 102).

“Hanging out in homogenous groups not only reinforced existing views but pushed people to more extreme opinions” (pg 111).

“Lead, follow, or get out of the way” (pg 119).

“He listens to what everyone is playing and then plays what is missing” (pg 122).

“If everyone ties to be a star and does not engage in supporting the evolution of the soloist’s ideas, the result is bad jazz” (pg 125).

“It takes a lot of self-confidence not to say everything that you know” (pg 129).

“Why be dumb when you don’t have to be?” (pg 130).

“Leadership effectiveness is judged not by authority or how far up the pyramid people sit, but by how well they work with the resources at their disposal, no matter how limited, and how effectively they help free their own potential . . . and that of others” (137).

“It is often the very competence and patterns of success that have blinded these organizations and led to their downfall” (pg 140).

“You’re never in a secure position. You’re never at a point where you have it all sewn up. You have to choose to be secure like a stone, or insecure but able to flow” (pg 142).

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Fans First: Based on the True Story of the Savannah Bananas, by Jesse Cole

“The only way to win in business is to make adjustments, not excuses” (pg 21).

“I can accept failure; everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying” (pg 31).

“I’d rather be laughed at than not be noticed at all” (pg 36).

“The best opportunity to do the unexpected and create a fan is when something goes wrong” (pg 43).

“When adversity hits, most people dwell on the negative . . .” but “when things go wrong, when there’s a challenge with the experience, that is the best time to wow your fans. They’re not expecting you to make a random wrong a right. It’s a little heroic . . . a little joyful” (pg 47).

“Go all-in on what you stand for and what makes you different” (pg 49).

“79% of people who leave an organization say that lack of appreciation is the main reason they left. Only 12% leave because of pay” (pg 57).

“Instead of delighting their fans, they were chasing customers” (pg 58).

“Be fanatical about caring for people . . . be fanatical about the details: the way emails are worded, the color of the packaging, the style of your bathroom décor” (pg 60).

“Challenge the way things have been done in the past. Have the courage to do things others won’t do. Break the rules in your industry, and stand for something better” (pg 63).

“You can’t create fans until you are a fan of what you do” (pg 64).

“I’m not saying quit your job or give up your obligations. But If you are not a fan of what you do, you will never do it to your full potential. And the world is missing out on what you can bring” (pg. 65).

“When you follow the crowd, you’ll never draw a crowd” (pg 67).

“What do you want to be known for?” (pg 74).

“Eliminating friction is about putting yourself in your fans’ shoes and looking at every possible pain point, every possible frustration, every possible policy that slows things down, heats up temperatures, and punishes fans” (pg 85).

“Starbucks leaves an empty chair at their meetings to represent their customers. For every decision they discuss, they ask how they can serve the person sitting in that chair” (pg 86).

What does it look like when customers interact with your business’s rules, policies, and spaces? Does a fan want this? Does this add value to a fan? Does this make life easier for a fan?” (pg 87).

*** Teachers will buy into a “student’s first” mentality when they feel cared for and understood.

“Too many rules get in the way of leadership. They just put you in a box. People set rules to keep from making decision” – Coach K pg. 88

“Microfractions are the little details that chafe and scratch at fans, even if the fans don’t realize it . . . everywhere you look, you’ll see a thousand small, avoidable annoyances” (pg 91).

“True failure, the permanent kind, comes when businesses keep doing things the way they’ve always done it. Or worse, it comes from doing nothing” (pg 105).

“Friction fighting isn’t about winning in the short term. It’s about investing in the long term” (pg 105).

*** Education has a mandatory audience, which stifles creativity and change.

“I would rather entertain people and hope they learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained” (pg 109).

“Everything tells a story, and everywhere is a place to entertain” (pg 116).

“When considering the fan experience you want to create, let fun lead the way. Ask yourself how you want to make your fans feel, and then look at every detail f your experience to make sure it aligns with that feeling” (pg 121).

“If you’re having fun, push it a little further, right to the edge of ‘too far.’ You’ll find that it’s not as dangerous or scary as you think” (pg 130).

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that” (pg 132).

“I think I’ve learned that the best way to lift oneself up is to help someone else” (pg 137).

“Look at your assets and spaces. Don’t work from a mindset of what you lack; go with a mindset of what you have. What makes you unique? What can make you unique? Amplify that” (pg. 138).

“Did this bit get off to a rocky start? Sure, but that’s usually how our experiments go the first time we run through them. We look at what worked and what didn’t, do what we can to fix the bugs, and then try again the next time” (pg 146).

“What rules would make you slightly uncomfortable to change but need to change to refresh your business and industry? (pg 164).

“Do for one what you wish you could do for many” (pg 175).

“To be a moment maker is simple: people just want to be seen and heard” (pg 190).

“If you want to empower action in your team, start by changing the mindset of your organization. Instead of focusing on failure, focus on what you’re trying to do. What new chances are you going to take? What new things are you going to do. Will these new things make you feel uncomfortable? Scared?
I hope so. If you’re not scared a little, you’re not thinking big enough . . . the greatest leaders make the least amount of decisions” (pg 205).

“What do you think?  . . . If you want your team to function without you, you have to embody that question whenever your team seeks approval for their ideas. What do you think?” (pg 210).

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of a mistake” – Meg Wittman CEO of Ebay (pg. 227)

“Creating change is messy” (pg 228)

“I dare you to imagine what you can accomplish in your business over the next five years. I dare you to look at your business and ask how you can take it from unremarkable to unforgettable” (pg 235).

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do” (pg 242).

“When you’re feeling drained, it’s hard to muster up the energy even to do the things you love” (pg 243).

“The cheer you give is the cheer you get” (pg 254).

“Be remembered for who you are, not what you accomplished” (pg 256).

“Policies police, and that installs a culture of fear, not love . . . people don’t want to be managed, they want to be led” (pg 266).

“Stop looking to be recognized, and start looking to recognize” (pg 277).

“A hundred years from now, it won’t matter what’s in your bank account or the kind of car you drive. It will only matter that you made a difference in the life of a child” (pg 305).  

“Legacy is not what you leave for people, it is what you leave in people” (pg 307).

“Stand out. Have fun. Create fans” Be full throttle you! (pg 315)

Everything Sad is Untrue, by Daniel Nayeri

“We can know and be known to each other, and then we’re not enemies anymore” (pg 1).

“Kill everyone at a party, and you are the life of the party, but that doesn’t make you good company” (pg 24).

“Every story is the sound of a storyteller begging to stay alive” (pg. 59).

“Ellie had a lot of sadness in her life. Sadness of the kind that makes perfectly normal people into poets” (pg 121).

“Does writing poetry make you brave? It is a good question to ask. I think making anything is a brave thing to do. Not like fighting brave, obviously. But a kind that looks at a horrible situation and doesn’t crumble.
Making anything assumes there’s a world worth making it for. That you’ll have someplace, like a clown’s pants, to hide it when people come to take it away.
I guess I’m saying making something is a hopeful thing to do” (pg 122).

“Karen was kind in a way that people can be, when kindness doesn’t cost them anything” (pg 306).

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The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impacts, by Chip and Dan Heath

“Defining moments shape our lives, but we don’t have to wait for them to happen. We can be the authors of them . . . Our lives are measured in moments, and defining moments are the ones that endure in our memories.” They are, “grand in scale and rich in emotion (pg 5 and 6).

“Some moments are vastly more meaningful than others” and “We’re not very good at investing in such moments” (pg 11).

“A defining moment is a short experience that is both memorable and meaningful” (pg 12).

Four Categories for Defining Moments:

1. ELEVATION: A love letter. A ticket stub. A well-worn T-shirt. Haphazardly colored cards from your kids that make you smile with delight.

2. INSIGHT: Quotes or articles that moved you. Books that changed your view on the world. Diaries that captured your thoughts.

3. PRIDE: Ribbons, report cards, notes of recognition, certificates, thank-yous, awards.

4. CONNECTION: Wedding photos. Vacation photos. Family and Christmas photos - the first things you would grab if your house caught on fire.

“Why don’t we celebrate teachers for their 1,000th student taught?” (pg 26).

Moments of Elevation:

Build Peaks:

“It is very rare for parents to see their students’ work . . . They see swim meets. They see dance performances. They see plays. But it’s very rare for parents to see the academic work their kids do . . . nobody would go out for a basketball team if you never had a game. What is the game for the students?” (pg 51).

Fill pits, then build peaks. What’s striking, though, is that many business leaders never pivot to that second stage. Instead, having filled the pits in their service, they scramble to pave the potholes - the minor problems and annoyances. It’s as though the leaders aspire to create a complaint-free service rather than an extraordinary one” (pg 54).

To create a peak, “You create a positive moment with elements of elevation, insight, pride, and/or connection” and you must do three things: “First, boost sensory appeal. Second, raise the stakes. Third, break the script . . . Moments of elevation need not have all three elements but most have at least two. Boosting sensory appeal is about “turning up the volume” on reality” (pg 61).

“Beware the soul-sucking force of ‘reasonableness.’

Break the Script:

“To break the script, we’ve first got to understand the script” (pg 72).

“Just by disrupting routines, we can create more peaks” (pg 78).

“Suprise stretches time . . . fear and focus make time seem to expand. (So here’s one tip to live a longer life: Scare the hell out of yourself regularly)” (pg 86).

“We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most alive when they’re not” (pg 86).

Moments of Insight:

Trip over the truth

“Until the people in a given area wanted to change, the hardware was meaningless” (pg 99).

“You can’t appreciate the solution until you appreciate the problem” (pg 106).

“What great mentors do is add two more elements: direction and support” (pg 123).

Moments of Pride:

Recognize others

“More than 80 percent of supervisors claim they frequently express appreciation to their subordinates, while less than 20 percent of the employees report that their supervisors express appreciation more than occasionally. Call it the recognition gap” (pg 146).

“The proper pace of recognition is weekly or even daily, not monthly or yearly” (pg 146).

“Most recognition should be personal, not programmatic” (pg 147).

“Effective recognition makes the employee feel noticed for what they’ve done” (pg 148).

“The style is not important. What’s important is authenticity: being personal, not programmatic” (pg . 151).

Multiply Milestones

“Shouldn’t couples acknowledge and celebrate what they’ve accomplished together?” (pg. 166).

Practice Courage

“People often know what the right thing to do is. The hard part is acting on that judgment” (pg 186).

“The hard part isn’t knowing what the right thing to do is. The hard part is doing it” (pg 190) and “An act of courage can bolster the resolve of others” (pg 190).

“It is hard to be courageous, but it’s easier when you’ve practiced, and when you stand up, others will join you” (pg 193).

Moments of Connection:

Create Shared Meaning

For groups, defining moments arise when we create shared meaning - highlighting the mission that binds us together and supersedes our differences. We are made to feel united” (pg 211).

“If you want to be part of a group that bonds like cement, take on a really demanding task that’s deeply meaningful. All of you will remember it for the rest of your lives” (pg 216).

“Passion is individualistic. it can energize us but also isolate us, because my passion isn’t yours. By contrast, purpose is something people can share. it can knit groups together” (pg 218).

Deepen Ties

“Our relationships are stronger when we perceive that our partners are responsive to us” (pg 231).

Making Moments Matter

In the short term, we prioritize fixing problems over making moments, and that choice usually feels like a smart trade-off” (pg 256).

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In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl's Journey to Freedom, by Yeonmi Park

“We tell stories in order to live” (pg 5).

“The green forest flutters in our land and mountains, and I didn’t plant even one tree . . .” (pg 106).

“I was starting to realize that you can’t really grow and learn unless you have a language to grow within . . . reading was teaching me what it meant to be alive, to be human” (pg 230).

“You can’t tell how smart a child is until he grows up” (pg 232).

“She had always told me that to be happy, you must give to others, no matter how poor you are . . . my life to this point had been very selfish” ( pg 247).

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Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, by Jordan B. Peterson

Overture:

“Wouldn’t the beneficial elements of experience be more likely to manifest themselves around us? Is it not possible, if your goals were noble enough, your courage adequate, your aim at the truth unerring, that the Good thereby produced would . . . well, not justify the horror? (pg. xxiii).

Rule 1: Do Not Carelessly Denigrate Social Institutions for Creative Achievement

“People remain mentally healthy not merely because of the integrity of their own minds, but because they are constantly being reminded how to think, act, and speak by those around them” (pg 5).

“To name something - to use the word for the thing - is essentially to point to it, to specify it against everything else, to isolate it for use individually and socially” (pg. 7).

“Humility: it is better to presume ignorance and invite learning than to assume sufficient knowledge and risk the consequent blindness” (pg 17).

Rule II: Imagine Who You Could Be, and Then Aim Single-Mindedly at That

“Every society is already characterized by patterned behavior; otherwise it would be pure conflict and no ‘society’ at all” (pg. 56).

“Who dares wins - if he does not perish. And who wins also makes himself irresistibly and attractive, not least because of the development of character that ventures inevitably produces” (pg 80).

“It is in keeping with this that he is disciplined and courageous, but also willing and ready to break the rules when necessary (pg. 81).

“Everyone requires a story to structure their perceptions and actions in what would otherwise be the overwhelming chaos of being. Every story requires a starting place that is not good enough and an ending plce that is better” (pg 85).

“Those who break the the rules ethically are those who have mastered them first and disciplined themselves to understand the necessity of those rules, and break them in keeping with the spirit rather than the letter of the law” (pg 85).

“For better or worse, you are on a journey. You are having an adventure - and your map better be accurate” (pg. 86).

Rule III: Do Not Hide Unwanted Things in the Fog

“Have the damn fight!" . . . Life is what repeats, and it is worth getting what repeats right” (pg 91).

“Things fall apart of their own accord, but the sins of men speed their deterioration: that is wisdom from the ages” (pg 94).

“Freud failed to notice that sins of omission contributed to mental illness as much as, or more than, the sins of commission” (pg 97).

“Freud assumed that things experienced are things understood” (pg 97).

“Does the person being insulted care enough about you and your suffering to dig past a few obstacles and unearth the bitter truth?” (pg 102).

“If you really loved me, you would brave the terrible landscape that I have arrayed around myself to discover the real me” (pg. 103)

“A naive person trusts because he or she believes that people are essentially or even universally trustworthy. But any person who has truly lived has been - or has - betrayed” . . . these experiences open the door to “another kind of faith in humanity: one based on courage, rather than naivete. I will trust you - I will extend my hand to you - despite the risk of betrayal, because it is possible, through trust, to bring out the best in you, and perhaps in me” (pg 104).

“Extracting useful information from experience is difficult. It requires the purest of motivations to perform it properly. It requires the willingness to confront error, forthrightly, and to determine at what point and why the departure from the proper path occurred. It requires the willingness to change, which is almost always indistinguishable from the decision to leave something behind” (pg 106).

“The pathway to the Holy Grail has its beginnings in the darkest part of the forest, and what you need remains hidden where you least want to look” (pg 107).

“If you knocked, truly wanting to enter, perhaps the door would open. But there will be times in your life when it will take everything you have to face what is in front of you, instead of hiding away from a truth so terrible that the only thing worse is the falsehood you long to replace it with. Do not hide unwanted things in the fog” (pg. 108).

Rule IV: Notice That Opportunity Lurks Where Responsibility Has Been Abdicated

“It is a bad idea to sacrifice yourself uncomplainingly so that someone else can take the credit” (pg 111).

“What might serve as a more sophisticated alternative to happiness? Imagine it is living in accordance with the sense of responsibility, because that sets things right in the future. Imagine, as well, that you must act reliably, honestly, nobly, and in relationship to a higher good, in order to manifest the sense of responsibility properly” (pg 128).

“Your life becomes meaningful in precise proportion to the depth of the responsibility you are willing to shoulder. That is because you are now genuinely involved in making things better” (pg 134).

Rule V: Do Not Do What You Hate

“If you have acted honorably, so that you are a trustworthy person, it will be your decision to refuse to comply or to act in a manner contrary to public expectation that will help society itself maintain its footing. By doing so you can be part of the force of truth that brings corruption and tyranny to a halt. The Sovereign individual, awake and attending to his or her conscience, is the force that prevents the group, as the necessary structure guiding normative social relations, from becoming blind and deadly” (pg 149).

“We are not helpless. Even in the rubble of the most broken-down lives, useful weapons might still be found. Likewise, even the giant most formidable in appearance may not be as omnipotent as it proclaims or appears. Allow for the possibility that you may be able to fight back; that you may be able to resist and maintain your soul - and perhaps even your job” (pg 150).

“There are few choices in life where there is no risk on either side” (pg 152).

Rule VI: Abandon Ideology

“Opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated” (pg 160).

“The meaning that sustains life in all its tragedy and disappointment is to be found in shoulder a noble burden. Because we have not been doing this, they have grown up looking in the wrong places. ANd this has left them vulnerable: vulnerable to easy answers and susceptible to the deadening force of resentment. What about the unfolding of history has left us in this position? How has this vulnerability, this susceptibility, come about?” (pg 161).

“If each of us lives by our own created and projected values, what remains to unite us?” (pg 164).

“Once the source of evil has been identified, it becomes the duty of the righteous to eradicate it. This is an invitation to both paranoia and persecution. A world where only you and people who think like you are good is also a world where you are surrounded by enemies bent on your destruction, who must be fought” (pg 176).

Rule VII: Word as Hard as You Possibly Can On at Least One Thing and See What Happens

“Proper discipline organizes rather than destroys” (pg 190).

Rule VIII: Try to Make One Room in Your Home as Beautiful as Possible

“Man shall not live by bread alone. And that is exactly right. We live by beauty. We live by literature. We live by art. We cannot live without some connection to the divine - and beauty is divine - because in its absence life is too short, too dismal, and too tragic” (pg 203).

Rule IX: If Old Memories Still Upse You, Write them Down Carefully and Completely

It is a psychological truism that anything sufficiently threatening or harmful once encountered can never be forgotten if it has never been understood” (pg 231)

“We must recollect our experiences and derive from them their moral. Otherwise, we remain in the past, plagued by reminiscences, tormented by conscience, cynical for the loss of what might have been, unforgiving of ourselves, and unable to accept the challenges and tragedies facing us” (pg 232).

“Actions based upon the desire to take responsibility; to make things better; to avoid temptation and face what we would rather avoid; to act voluntarily, courageously, and truthfully - these make what comes into Being much better, in all ways, for ourselves and for others, than what arises as a consequence of avoidance, resentment, the search for revenge, or the desire for mayhem” (pg 254).

“We are universally tormented by our consciences for what we know we should have done yet did not do” (pg 255).

Rule X: Plan and Work Diligently to Maintain the Romance in Your Relationship

“In a relationship where romance remains intact, truth must be king” (pg 272).

“Do not foolishly confuse ‘nice’ with ‘good’” pg. 281).

“They are not vital in the same sense that daily routines are vital” (pg 292).

“You should be truly terrified if you have been accepted as a date. A sensible person would think of their new potential romantic partner: ‘Oh, my God! You are either blind, desperate or as damaged as me!’” (pg 295).

Rule XI: Do Not Allow Yourself to Become Resentful, Deceitful, or Arrogant

“We all know you must forgo gratification in the present to keep the wolf from the door in the future” (pg 318).

“Invite the Evil Queen to your child’s life. If you fail to do so, your children will grow up weak and in need of protection, and the Evil Queen is going to make herself known no matter what steps you take to stop her” (pg 320).

“Conservatives are necessary for maintaining things the way they are when everything is working and change might be dangerous. Liberals, by contrast, are necessary for changing things when they are no longer working” (pg 323).

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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, by Patrick Lencioni

“Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal” (pg 44).

“If we don’t trust one another then we cannot be the kind of team that ultimately achieves results” (pg 44).

“If you let profit be your only guide to results, you won’t be able to know how the team is doing until the season is almost over” (pg 77).

“Politics is when people choose their words and actions based on how they want others to react rather than based on what they really think” (pg 88).

“When people don’t unload their opinions and feel like they’ve been listened to, they won’t really get on board” (pg 94).

“Disagree and commit” (pg 95).

“Once we achieve clarity and buy-in, it is then that we have to hold each other accountable for what we sing up to do, for high standards of performance and behavior. And as simple as that sounds, most executives hate to do it, especially when it comes to a peer’s behavior, because they want to avoid interpersonal discomfort” (pg 98).

“It’s about you. You have to decide what is more important: helping the team win or advancing your career” (pg 124).

“Some people are hard to hold accountable because they are so helpful. Others because they get defensive. Others because they are intimidating” (pg 148).

Grade: A

Loved this book. Easy read and fully inspiring/helpful. I even pushed my staff through our own staff evaluation. You can see it here: Fall Semester STAFF Evaluation (5)(1).docx

A strong read for anyone in leadership.

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The Bomber Mafia, by Malcolm Gladwell

“How is it that, sometimes, for any number of unexpected and random reasons, technology slips away from its intended path? “ (pg 9)

“The more you invest in a set of beliefs - the greater the sacrifice you make in the service of that conviction - the more resistant you will be to evidence that suggests that you are mistaken” (pg 113).

“You should never do evil so that good may come” (pg 179).

Grade: B-

A history buff might enjoy this, but for me, it was . . . meh.

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