As always, my goal for the year was 30 books. I finished this year with 29 . . . rats!!!.
My Top Five Recommendations from the Year, in no particular order:
5. Personal and Authentic, by Thomas C. Murray
4. Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman
3. My Name is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok
2. The Great Alone, by Kristin Hannah
1. Leading with a Limp, by Dan B. Allender
Honorable Mentions:
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Grade: B
I don’t know. It wasn’t great, but there was definitely some redeeming qualities which, in contrast to Holden Caulfield, made the reading worth it.
Eleanor Oliphant reminded me of two individuals. On the one hand, she is Holden in that she is bratty and arrogant and generally unlikeable - at least for the first third of the story. But then, she has a change and her more redeeming qualities stand out, making her enjoyable. Unlike Mr. Coulfield.
She also reminds me of the main character in Queen’s Gambit in that she is a bit uncomfortable and not a natural fit to the societal norms. Yet, there is something attractive about her, something that draws you in and wonders.
I’m not sure I would recommend it to many, but I wouldn’t discourage you from taking if off my shelf either.
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“If you’re a leader, you’re in the battle of your life” (pg 1).
”To the degree you face and name and deal with your failure as a leader, to that same extent you will create an environment conducive to growing and retaining productive and committed colleagues.” And, “the degree you attempt to hide or dissemble your weaknesses, the more you will need to control those you lead, the more insecure you will become, and the more rigidity you will impose - prompting the ultimate departure of your best people. Prepare now to admit to your staff that your are the chief sinner” (pg 2 and 3).
“It takes humility to name our narcissism, and we’re too married to our image to come clean about how messed up we are” (pg 5).
”To grow in confidence, connectedness, and success, you have to admit for all to hear that you are a failure” (pg. 7).
”A good leader will, in time, disappoint everyone. Leadership requires a willingness to not be liked, in fact, a willingness to be hated” (pg 14).
”Anyone who wrestles with an uncertain future on behalf of others - anyone who uses her gifts, talents, and skills to influence the direction of others for the greater good - is a leader” (pg 25).
”Leadership is about whether we will grow in maturity in the extremely of success” (pg 29).
”One price of formal leadership is being alone” (pg 33).
”Even when a leader looks confident and appears strong, fear may be guiding his operational genius. And the more a leader lets fear be his driving force, the emptier his heart becomes and the more suspicious he is of those with whom he works (pg 42).
”Remembering your lies is more difficult than knowing the truth” (pg 43).
“Leadership that mimics Jesus will not be normal. It will be neither expected nor, in most cases, preferred. It will be disruptive and anomalous, and it will demand one’s body and soul, fortune, reputation, and all the other small gods that keep our lives safe and satisfied” (pg. 55).
”So why do most leaders live in fear that they will one day be discovered and known, exposed and humiliated? They know they’re a mess, but they hope against hope that no one will notice” (pg 56).
”It is far more difficult to be a shepherd-king, one who must possess power and give it away until he serves as the balancing point of an inverted pyramid . . . As a leader, the king must be open to the wisdom of others and then give power to others to carry out the project” (pg. 61).
“A Chinese symbol for crisis is the merging of two signs, one meaning “danger” and the other meaning “opportunity.” A crisis has the potential to transform or destroy. And what is the tipping point towards transformation in the face of crisis? The choice is either to cower in fear or step forward with courage. The tipping point is brokenness rather than control” (pg 67).
”Humility comes only by wounds suffered from foolish falls” (pg 70).
”If those I lead have already found out the worst there is to know about me - that I am a sinner - then the log in my eye is continually being removed in the midst of every crisis” (pg 75).
”Email is the greatest scourge of modern communication. It facilitates the passing on of simple information, yet it forces complex matters to be presented in a fashion that makes what is difficult appear easy and, in many cases, what is peripheral seem central. Email distorts. It allows thoughtful and reasonable communication to appear deranged and fury laden. And if you read email with only have of your synapses firing, you are doomed. Coffee helps, but email still adds to the darkness of the looking glass” (pg 79).
“What am I not seeing in this situation? What grid am I imposing on my world that keeps me from seeing more fully? What bias from my ethnic, socioeconomic, religious, national, or experiential grids is blinding me to my situation?” (Pg 83).
”Regidity always results in an us-versus-them mentality. Wherever you see polarities - good/bad, right/wrong, Left/Right - you know the real issue has been oversimplified. Black-and-white dogmatism has been exercised in an attempt to avoid complexity. No issue worthy of reflection can truly be understood by reducing it to polarities. Greater depth and broader exploration are needed” (pg 87).
”A leader-fool is free enough to operate outside traditional and conventional wisdom, but wise enough to take advantage of any voice, no matter its source. And one of the best sources of perspective is enemies. If we can learn from them, we can profit from anyone.
Yet we typically prefer the readily available perspective; we reach for what’s on the surface rather than choosing to go deeper. Often we fail to listen to our enemies, or even to those on our side who strenuously disagree with us, because considering their words would stir up too much dust. Now, I don’t recommend sitting down with your enemies as a daily habit, but on occasion you can learn much about yourself from them” (pg 89).
“The more complex the situation, the more we tend to resort to analysis. To analyze something means to dissect it until we come to an understanding that we believe allows us to predict, manage, and control the problem. But chaos theory reminds us that every effort to measure, let alone control, a phenomenon not only changes it but moves it in an unpredictable direction. Control is the province of idiots, not leader-fools” (pg 91).
”If you exercise power and authority over others, you are probably an press or. We leaders misuse our power when we envy what we perceive others possess and then attempt to take it from them” (pg 96).
”Envy is not a fancy word for greed. People motivated by greed don’t usually choose to be leaders - they rob banks. A leader is often a wounded individual who feels drawn to rectify, to amend, the suffering she has endured in the past. It sounds noble, and often is, until new wounds of betrayal are suffered that repeat the original harm. Then the nastiness begins” (pg 96).
“Most leaders, however, do have a significant history of betrayal that motivates them to grasp the reins of leadership, and it’s ironic that the role of leader brings with it the guarantee of being betrayed” (pg 97).
“Betrayal comes primarily in one of two forms: abandonment or abuse” (pg 98).
”The narcissist leader is usually brilliant in the art of gossip, the dynamics of office politics, and the strategy of divide and conquer . . . At times it seems as though narcissists rule the world” (pg 98, 99).
”Betrayal is certain; what is uncertain is how we will embrace betrayal and use it for the growth of character” (pg 101).
”Leaders often possess large egos. Perhaps it takes someone with an abundant ego to think he can do what others view as impossible. Leaders typically blend strong vision with a deep dissatisfaction with the status quo” (pg 104).
”Self-righteousness is a trick by which we gain power, and the power comes with comparing ourselves favorably against another” (pg 105).
The antitype of a narcissist is “kind and open. He builds consensus, blesses others, takes the blame for his failures, and bears the weight and responsibility for the fumbling of others” (pg 106).
“No matter how hard a leader wishes to be a regular person, it is just no possible” (pg 109).
”The result of many leaders is a deep sense of isolation and loneliness that comes with realizing that others will never understand them or richly enjoy them” (pg 111).
”It is rare for a person to ask more than two meaningful questions of another person, especially if that other person is in distress. We want to help, to quickly resolve the struggle. But we don’t want to offer someone else’s helplessness or confusion. If all we need to do is offer to move furniture or give a few dollars to settle the issue, then we willingly help. But to sit with Job in his agony is more than the vast majority of human beings will do, even for those they love most” (pg 113).
”Honoring confidentiality puts a leader in the direct path of the Mack truck of gossip” (pg 114).
“People in organizations form alliances. Loneliness in leadership that has integrity mostly relates to the need to eschew these alliances when they would conflict with one’s integrity and values. Another time when loneliness is highlighted is when things follow an unplanned course into adversity and folks want to save their own hides. A true leader cannot just melt into the ground. She or he needs to stand and quite possibly intercept arrows - and that is in vital areas!” (Pg 119)
“Friendships in an organization tend to be less about seeking truth together and more about building alliances that secure power and safety” (pg 119).
”The issue of truth in relationships is never a matter of trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong. It is an issue of whether truth grows as both people seek the truth together . . . Honesty is not just saying what we feel or think, it is seeking to be laid bare before the eyes of truth to see as we are seen” (pg 120).
”I don’t know what happened to divide us, but I long to be restored, and I would like to hear how you understand this struggle” (pg 121).
”We may never agree, nor do we need to do so, but we need others - especially those who challenge us to dig deeper and become more human” (pg 121).
”Honesty has been misused as a synonym for saying difficult things with little care for the other: (go 122).
”Being busy seems like a polar opposite of laziness, but a busy person is not so much active as lost. A lazy person does little to nothing while a busy person does almost everything, but the similarity is that both refuse to be intentional. Busyness is the moral equivalent to laziness . . . Busyness is moral laziness because it involves refusing to live with courage and intentionality” (pg 128, 129).
“We surround ourselves with noise and busyness so we don’t have to look at the monotonous trap we have created for ourselves” (pg 130).
“A busy leader spins webs of activity to satisfy an inner yearning for meaning and the hungry expectations of others” (pg 130).
“With all that is before me, will I continue to lead? If I choose to continue, how will I lead in a way that engages the heart of those I serve?” (Pg 136).
“A leader is called to go further than anyone else . . . Wherever we stop progress of growth is the unseen line dividing civilization from no man’s land. Consequently, if a person desires to lead other into maturity rather than mere productivity, he must go first” (pg 152).
”Acknowledging our failures is an opportunity to clear the air and open a new path for resolutions” (go 152).
“A leader must understand her unique blend of strengths and weaknesses, a blend that reveals the character of God, and then she must tell her story often and well. A leader is first a storyteller. She tells the story of her foolishness, redemption, reconciliation, and restoration to God and others. She is the canvas that God paints to reveal the beauty of his grace” (pg 153).
“How am I to use my gifts and suffer my weaknesses for good? A good story is one in which I co-create with those whom I serve” (pg 154).
“Why admit your failures publicly? First, doing so invites others to look more honestly at their own need for forgiveness, freedom, and courage. It also removes the dividing wall of hierarchy and false assumptions about people in power and gives the leader who humbles himself the opportunity to be lifted up by God” (pg. 173).
“A leader’s first calling is to grow, knowing that he is the one who has the furthest distance to mature” (pg 185).
Grade: A+
This grade isn’t high enough for this book. Holy Jesus, this is a MUST READ for any and all leaders/people - even those who will be turned off by the heavy reliance upon biblical teachings.
Quickly, this book has marched itself to the top shelf of all-time favorites.
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“Negative, poorly performing people tend to get a disproportionate amount of power, attention, and empathy. They continue to behave obnoxiously and unfairly because everyone they’re rewarded for doing so” (pg. 4).
“You can be sure the negative people don’t have any monkeys on their backs. They don’t feel the least bit bad about being slackers or jerks” (pg 5).
“A great leader asks, “How do I protect my good people? How do I make the world a better place?” (Pg. 6).
Three questions for leaders:
Where is the monkey?
Where should the monkey be?
How do I shift the monkey to its proper place?
”Learning to recognize the out-of-place monkeys and then shift them back to their rightful owners is one of the most important lesson you’ll ever learn. This doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility; it means putting responsibility where it belongs, which will make you a much better leader, parent, friend, and person” (pg. 28).
Three truths to lead by:
Treat everyone well
Make decisions based on your best people
Protect your good people first
“Don’t engage in conversations about excuses, Don’t question the excuses, don’t sympathize, and don’t argue. Just keep asking how the report turned out” (pg 37).
”Make your instructions very clear so that both you and the poor performer know the difference between right and wrong” (pg 38).
”Negative people thrive in an oppositional environment, standing on their side of the imaginary line, glaring across at you with arms folded. That is why you never want a desk, countertop, or anything else between you and a negative person” (pg 39).
“Never address an entire group regarding the negative behaviors of a few” (pg 40).
“Good employees will respond to your approval or disapproval, but the slackers are more likely to respond to peer approval or disapproval” (pg 46).
“Effective leaders don’t want their bad people mad; they want them good, or they want them gone” (pg 46).
“A key part of basing your actions on your best rather than your worst people is learning to ignore the bad one” (pg 66).
”While problem employees are often willing to waste the leader’s and their peer’s time, they can’t stand to invest a minute of their personal time on work - especially for a nonsensical complaint” (pg 84).
“It’s your job as a leader to lighten {a good employees) load whenever possible and to make sure they don’t take on any new monkeys that are not important or necessary . . . Give your great people permission not to volunteer (pg 85).
“Treat everyone well, not equally” (pg 93).
Grade: A+
Short, compact, and acutely helpful and accurate. A must read for any and all leaders.
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Another book I had to read for grad class.
Here is my critique:
Writer and conservationist Boyd Varty grew up observing wild animals on the Londolozi Game Reserve in South Africa. His unique upbringing provided him a unique vantage point of the animal kingdom, and humanity. “People get a huge worry about the value in the world if they're not busy and doing something and being productive,” he says in an interview with the TED Radio Hour host, Guy Raz. “But in nature,” he continues, “everything is just so uniquely itself.” Which, according to Varty, “is the essence of wisdom - to be where you are and to allow action to arise out of that being.”
In many ways, Keith Ferrazzi argues, the same for healthy organizations. That, in order to be healthy and strong, to work together in harmony, and to allow a culture of action rather than inaction, they community and everyone in it must have the confidence to be uniquely itself and not defined by power or position. “Position does not define power,” Ferrazzi writes, because “impact defines power” (p. 19). And the impact any one individual can impose upon a school or company directly depends upon how they view their role within the school or company.
Ferrazzi writes that “We all need to think of ourselves as leaders, as innovators, regardless of our job titles” (p. 24) for if we want to achieve an outcome that has a greater impact than what we might have achieve on your own, we “have to arrive with a sense of curiosity at the forefront of our mind.” We have to “set aside our conviction that our way is the right way” and “open ourself up to the assumption that others on our team have ideas that may be far better than yours” (p. 28). We have to be willing to see our roles and unique selves as part of a great whole. No one role is greater than another.
Unlike Bolman and Deal (Leading with the Soul), Ferrazzi’s Leading Without Authority offers sage advice and personal stories of how to improve a working culture and strengthen relationships. There is little fluff, and a great deal of hard work. “We need people who don’t make excuses,” he writes, “who take the lead in innovating and lead without authority when it’s necessary to get things done” (Ferrazzi, p. 38). Ferrazzi then provides hands-on, real life examples of men and women who have taken the burden of transforming their teams through difficult yet purposeful decisions and relationships yet, all the while, acknowledge and accepting that the process will not be easy. “I am not ignoring the reality of difficult situations” he writes, “I’m saying instead, that if success matters to you, you’re the only one who can overcome the obstacle in your way. Even when facing our most daunting problems, we have 100 percent of the power over how we choose to react.” (p. 51). Which is advice that everyone – leader or non – needs to hear. But also, “One of the best things about accepting the mindset of leading with authority is that it can cure the disease of seeing yourself as a victim” (p. 55).
But perhaps the greatest advice Ferrazzi preaches is that of community and team, of purpose, and how to help others find their role in life and within the company. “People do not want to be told,” he writes,
“They want to be part of something. A new type of leadership is needed that is human, authentic, purposeful, and is about creating the right environment for others to flourish. This type of leadership will create trust, unlock self-motivation, and is needed to unleash extraordinary performance” (p 66).
Daniel Pink, the New York Times Bestseller and author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, agrees. According to Pink, every human has three key components to their motivation: Mastery – or the desire to get better at stuff, Purpose – the longing to make the world a better place, and Autonomy – the need to be self-directed. People don’t want to be told or bought or manipulated into doing something, they want autonomy on how to do it, the ability to get better at it, and a strong and purposeful Why for why it matters.
Ferrazzi also considers and appropriately argues for the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in relationships. “When you speak with someone in a way that is humble and vulnerable,” he writes, “you tap into each other’s humanity and encourage the other person to open up and take more risks with you. (p. 74). A practice akin to Brene Brown and her New York Times Bestseller, Dare to Lead. “The courage to be vulnerable,” she writes, “is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome” (pg 7). Leading is not about power or force, it isn’t about manipulating minds with fear or gimmicks, its about being people and treating people like people. It’s about investing in one another, finding one’s gifts or talents – their passions – and allowing them to use them openly and without fear. Leaders helps others do this, making leaders and the actions of leadership something that everyone can do, no matter their title. “You have to make the choice to care,” Ferrazzi writes, “and you have to let your teammates know it. You need to tell them. Better still, you need to tell them and show them. In whatever way you can, make sure they not only hear it, but experience it” (p. 75). Which can take considerable time.
In a time where numbers and figures and charts that monitor our improvement and measure our growth, leadership must be patient. “It takes time for givers to build goodwill and trust,” Ferrazzi reminds us, “but eventually, they establish reputations and relationships that enhance their success” (p 78) which will, in the end, produce greater success, a stronger working environment, and (because it’s what the higher-ups care about) stronger numbers. People who feel valued, feel heard, want to come to work, to share their ideas, and to help contribute. Thus making them more valuable. Leaders who exist in a small space, who primarily focus on the data, on growth, and a small number of opinions will find their companies or schools struggling and in a constant state of disarray and turnover. They will find workers unable to lead because they are unwilling.
The last piece of wisdom worth noting is Farrazzi’s emphasis on criticism and growth. “We tend to tune out criticism when it is dished out by someone who only seems to want to point out what we did wrong,” he writes. But “when we give feedback out of a spirit of truly wanting to help the other person become the best they can possibly be, it is the ultimate form of generosity” (p 143). As leaders who are trying to inspire others to lead without authority, this concept is crucial because it goes both ways. Not only does it remind the positioned leader on how to provide criticism to his or her employees (with a spirit of true help, empathy, and concern), it demands that they in turn receive criticism with a similar spirit of reception and openness. How leaders receive feedback is an immediate and real example to their staff on how they view their opinion (is it truly valid?), but it is also a lesson on how to receive information we really don’t want or like hearing. If the boss refuses to hear what needs to be said, why would the employees?
Leading without authority also means saying hard things because we care about people, we care about them doing well, being well, and providing the best they can for our businesses or schools. Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind” (p. 247) Keith Ferrazzi is a bit more longwinded:
“Team leaders often think they are being “kind” by not sharing feedback that will hurt someone’s feelings, but kindness requires the courage to be candid. It’s easy to confuse kindness with weakness, but true kindness requires strength. High performance environments rely on candor and transparency, because that’s what it takes to create rich, collaborative partnerships that produce extraordinary results” (p 151).
As leaders, we must be willing to look at a colleague or boss and say, “That isn’t good enough.” Because it isn’t. But in order to be heard, in order for the recipient to receive our thoughts, our slight (or even heavy) rebuke, we must have a foundation of trust previously built, and that is exactly what Keith Ferrazzi is arguing throughout Leading Without Authority. That in order for us to have a the ability to speak into another’s life, we must be men and women who have gained authority by our actions and words, not merely by position. We must use our gifts and abilities as good people to build a platform that will allow us to use our gifts and abilities as workers to help change the people we work with.
“Everything is just so uniquely itself” Boyd Varty says of the animal kingdom, “And by being uniquely itself they are a part of a greater unfolding.” He called this unity. Keith Farrazzi calls it leading without authority.
“Mostly he was afraid for Leni, because no matter how this all worked out, no matter if she did everything perfectly and got away and saved her mom, Leni’s heart would always have a broken place. It didn’t matter how you lost a parent or how great or shitty that parent was, a kid grieved forever. Matthew grieved for the mother he’d had. He figured Leni would grieve for the dad she wanted” (pg 359).
One of my favorites. Beautifully written, often poignant, and truthfully told. I loved this story.
Grade: A+
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I don’t know. It was sufferable. Perhaps I built it up too much in my head. Perhaps it really was drab. Either way, it was meh for me.
Grade: C
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I had to read this for a grad class. I was thoroughly disappointed.
Here is my written critique:
It is difficult for me to critique a book like this because it is so far outside my chosen genre. Like The Shack or The Energy Bus, there is goodness in them and definitely nuggets of truth worth capturing and applying, but the sing-song, feel-good ending of these types of fictional stories leave me with a giant sense of shallowness. I just don’t buy it.
From where I sit each morning in my office, whenever I read this type of book, it seems that they steal the best part of religion – the connecting with one’s soul, finding purpose, and turning our lives around – but then bypass all the hard stuff. Which is what makes them so popular! They promise a new life where everything comes together in the end and flowers bloom, but skip or gloss over the hard work! My question to them and to this book specifically is that: What if it doesn’t have a happy ending? What if the lives we impact change for the better, but ours remain the same? Is it still worth it? Would we still “connect with our soul” and walk through this process?
From what I can read, I think they would prefer not to answer.
For this book specifically, the question can be modified to, What is the purpose of leading with the soul? Is it for those we lead, or ourselves? More directly, if it ONLY impacts those we lead, is it still worth it?
Bolman and Deal do not answer this question.
They do, however, provide some insight and wisdom which are worth remembering, namely, that “The search for meaning, purpose, wholeness, and integrations is a constant, never-ending task” and “to confine this search to one day a week or after hours violates people’s basic sense of integrity, of being whole persons. In short, souls is not something one leaves at home” (Bolman, 2011).
Leading with the soul, connecting with others, and making the impact we so desperately desire is not something that can be done half-heartedly and between the hours of 8-4:30. It is a lifestyle, a constant struggle, and one that takes deliberate and intentional time and effort.
It is also extremely hard. And Bolman and Deal acknowledge this. They also contradict it.
“You want everything planned in advance” Maria observes, “That’s fine for a trip to Chicago. It won’t work for a journey of the spirit. First, you have to get started. Move into uncharted territory. Explore. Reflect. You’ll know when you’re on course” (Bolman, 2011). Which is true. When a leader of any sort begins their journey they cannot possibly know where it will go or how long it will take them to get there. Yet Stevens journey, although uncharted, was relatively simple with only a few minor setbacks that ended in a grand arrival of everything he had hoped and dreamed – in just a few hundred short pages. And that is exactly what the reader will expect as well. For as Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how,” and although Stevens’ journey is not clearly mapped, the destination is made clear: holistic success. This, I believe, deceives the reader into believing that if he or she were to merely connect with and lead with their soul, although it might be bumpy at times, in the end everything will turn out great. Which, I think, is a dangerous promise to make.
Another nugget worth capturing from this book is this, that “The spiritual journey that we as leaders must take to inspire other begins with ourselves but not necessarily by ourselves” (pg 66). Yet, I think this too is a bit incomplete, all because of one minor word that carries large ramifications, “by ourselves.” If we change “by” with “for” it reads, “The spiritual journey that we as leaders must take to inspire others begins with ourselves but not necessarily for ourselves.” This statement points, I think, more acutely to where we as leaders should be heading, and why: Towards others and for others. Much like we are instructed on a plane, to put ours masks on first before serving others, the purpose of this command is not that we take care of ourselves and survive the moment, but more importantly, TO HELP OTHERS! The spiritual journey will help us – even save us – but that is NOT why we embark on it. We do it for our teachers, our students, and those we serve. We do it so THEY may survive and thrive, not merely ourselves.
John Dickson,author of Humilitas: The Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership provides what I think a more complete idea of why we must connect with and lead with the soul. Dickson argues that “The most influential and inspiring people are often marked by humility” (p. 19). However, humility – according to Dickson, is not what we believe it to be.
Rather than an attribute that thinks lowly of oneself or “Down to earth” as is often said about someone with humble attributes, Dickson argues that for one to be humble they must have a complete and healthy perspective of themselves, their gifts, and their talents. They must know when and how they are great! Then, to live humbly, they must, “forgo their status, deploy their resources or use their influence for the good of others before themselves” (pg. 24). They are men and women who are characterized more by how they teat others than how they think of themselves.
This is where I believe Bolman and Deal fall short, because although they talk about others and the success Steve helped bring to his business, the focus is on him and his life and how it turned around.
Bolman and Deal capture Dickson’s mindset slightly when they write, “You lead with soul by giving it to others” (pg 78), but it is too little when compared with the breadth of the whole story and all that is happening. When the focus is on Steve’s personal success and happily-ever-after ending, truths such as these are lost and forgotten.
So too is this powerful image. “You see the branches sinking under the weight of snow?” Steve asks in a rare moment of transparent and accurate depth, “That’s how I feel at work. Drooping under the burden. Like I’ve given all I can. There’s not enough to go around” (pg 93). Now that is something every leader can resonate with, the weight of responsibility and the fear of crumbling beneath it. In this instance, Bolman and Deal do a great job of providing what I believe to be the unpopular yet accurate answer: “Without giving, there can be no real leadership (pg 122).” And later, “{Leaders} need to help others find and make productive use of many sources of power – information, resources, allies, access, and autonomy” (pg 132). This is true leadership. This is where we connect with and lead with the soul, when we turn our focus outward and help others achieve their greatness and power. For when that happens, they in turn will recognize the need to share that power with those they serve and come into contact with, thus making them more great and more powerful. To the point that, even if the leader’s life is still deemed “unsuccessful,” they will have a cloud of witnesses who are living testimonies to their great leadership and guidance. They will have fulfilled a greater purpose than merely serving and loving themselves.
In closing, and to answer the question of whether or not I would recommend this book, the answer is, “sparingly.” There are some whom I know who would find this book encouraging and uplifting, which is great! My fear would always be that they believe if they read this book and live out some of its truths that their lives would also end so blissfully. And if it doesn’t, they would be crushed. And rightfully so.
The more appropriate title would be, “Lies my Textbook Told me.” Otherwise, holy shit!
“Critical thinking requires assembling data to back up one’s opinion. Otherwise students may falsely conclude that all opinions are somehow equal. Textbooks pose scores of questions like this. They don’t pose them seriously” (pg viii).
“When students are not asked to assess, but only to remember, they do not learn how to assess or how to think for themselves” (p. xiv).
“White Americans engaged in a new burst of racial violence during and immediately after Wilson’s presidency. The tone set by the administration was one cause. Another was the release of America’s first epic motion picture” (p. 21).
“We teach Keller as an ideal, not a real person, to inspire our young people to emulate her. Keller becomes a mythic figure, the ‘woman who overcame’ - but for what? There is no content! Just look what she accomplished, we’re exhorted - yet we haven’t a clue as to what that really was” (p. 26).
“As a subject for research, the possibility of African discovery of America has never been a tempting one for American historians. In a sense, we choose our own history, or more accurately, we select those vistas of history for our examinations which promise us the greatest satisfaction, and we have had little appetite to explore the possibility that our founding father was a black man” (p. 31).
“Cultures do not evolve in a vacuum; diffusion of ideas is perhaps the most important cause of cultural development. Contact with other cultures often triggers a cultural flowering” (p. 39).
“If textbooks allowed for controversy, they could show students which claims rest on strong evidence, which on softer ground. As they challenged students to make their own decisions as to what probably happened, they would also be introducing students to the various methods and forms of evidence - oral history, written records, cultural similarities, linguistic changes, human genetics, pottery, archaeological dating, plant migrations - that researchers use to derive knowledge about the distant past” (p. 41).
“The trust history of Thanksgiving reveals embarrassing facts. The Pilgrims did not introduce the tradition; Eastern Indians had observed autumnal harvest celebrations for centuries. Although George Washington did set aside days for national thanksgiving, our modern celebrations date back only to 1863. During the Civil War, when the Union needed all the patriotism that such an observance might muster, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a national holiday. The Pilgrims had nothing to do with it; not until the 1890s did they even get included in the tradition. For that matter, they were not commonly known as Pilgrims until the 1870s” (p. 90).
“The invaders also anticipated, correctly, that other Europeans would question the morality of their enterprise. They therefore [prepared] . . . quantities of propaganda to overpower their own countrymen’s scruples. The propaganda gradually took standard form as an ideology with conventional assumptions and semantics. We live with it still” (p. 93).
“We colonists took action to oppose unjust authority, as in the Boston Tea Party or the antirent against Dutch plantations in the Hudson River valley during the 1840s, they chose to dress as American Indians, not to blame Indians for the demonstration but to appropriate a symbol identified with liberty” (p. 111).
“Even terminology changed: until 1815 the word Americans head generally been used to refer to Native Americans; after 1815 it meant European Americans” (p. 123).
“No matter how thoroughly Native Americans acculturated, they could not succeed in white society. Whites would not let them” (p. 129).
“We must not forget {our history} - not to wallow in our wrongdoing, but to understand and to learn, that we might not wreak harm again . . . history through red eyes offers out children a deeper understanding than comes from encountering the past as a story of inevitable triumph by the good guys” (p. 134).
“Ideas are more important than battles” (p. 192).
Although a bit dense and longwinded at times, for the topic at hand, it probably needs to be.
Grade: A
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'“Pessimists don’t change the world. Critics write words but they don’t write the future. Naysayers talk about problems but they don’t solve them” (pg. 9).
“Culture drives expectations and beliefs. Expectations and beliefs drives behaviors. Behaviors drive habits. And habits create the future” (pg. 16).
“You can’t create a culture where people hear about what’s important. You must create a culture where people feel what’s important. You must create a culture where people don’t just hear your talk but rather they feel your walk. When the feel the mission and also hear about the mission, they’ll be on a mission” (pg. 24).
“A positive leader sees what’s possible and then takes the next steps to rally and unite people to create it” (pg. 31).
Learn to talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself (pg. 52).
“Greatness is never born from easy circumstances. We become stronger when the world becomes harder” (pg. 59).
“Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (pg. 65).
”If you are complaining you are not leading. If you are complaining you are not showing your team the way forward. Complaining causes you and your team to focus on everything but being your best. It causes you to be stuck where you are instead of moving forward to where you want to be” (pg 81).
“Besides selfishness, the enemies are busyness and stress” (pg. 94.).
“People follow the leader first and their vision second. What you say is important, but who you are is even more important” (pg. 101).
“Self-serving leaders don’t leave legacies that change the world for the better. They may make money and achieve some fame in the short run, but true greatness is achieved when a leader brings out the greatness in others. Great leaders are great servants” (pg 120).
“When you focus on helping others improve, you improve. When you lose your ego in the service of others, you find the greatness within you” (pg 127).
“If someone violates the process and you don’t address it, then everyone knows you aren’t committed to it. If you don’t hold people accountable to it, your team won’t live and breathe it” (pg 140).
“There will be days that you wake up and don’t feel very positive. There will be times your culture doesn’t seem strong. There will be moments you don’t feel very positive about the vision of where you are going. There will be meetings where the energy vampires seem like they have the upper hand. There will be conversations where you don’t feel like communicating and connecting. There will be nights where you wonder why you chose a leadership position at all. It’s times like these where you need a purpose to give you something to be positive about” (pg 151).
“People think hard work is what makes us tired. Hard word doesn’t make us tired. A lack of purpose is what makes us tired. We don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it” (pg 152).
“Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals” (pg 170).
“Leadership is knowing that the critics will criticize you while still saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done. History doesn’t remember the critic. It remembers the one who withstood criticism to accomplish something great” (pg 175)
A beautiful and terrible story. A real-life journey story.
I friggen loved it.
Grade: A
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“The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome” (pg xviii).
“Studying leadership is way easier than leading” (pg 4).
“Choosing our own comfort over hard conversations is the epitome of privilege, and it corrodes trust and moves us away from meaningful and lasting change” (pg 9).
“A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard” (pg 10).
“Daring leaders must care for and be connected to the people they lead” (pg 12).
Have the courage to “show up when you can’t control the outcome” (pg 20).
“If you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I’m not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their lives but who will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those who dare greatly” (pg 20).
“Setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why. Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability. It’s confusion, manipulation, desperation, or shock and awe, but it’s not vulnerability” (pg 39).
“Clear is kind” (pg 49).
“They were actually exhausted because people were lonely” (pg 60).
“Other people’s emotions are not our jobs. We can’t both serve people and try to control their feelings” (pg 69).
“In the past, jobs were about muscles, now they’re about brains, but in the future they’ll be about the heart” (pg 71).
“We’ve got to stop and celebrate one another and our victories, no matter how small. Yes, there’s more work to be done, and things could go sideways in an hour, but that will never take away from the fact that we need to celebrate an accomplishment right now” (pg 84).
“The word sarcasm is from the Greek work sarkazein, meaning “to tear flesh.” Tear. Flesh. . . .” and “we use cynicism and sarcasm as a get-out-of-contributing-free card” (pg 93).
“Catch people that are doing things right. It’s much more powerful than collecting behaviors that are wrong” (pg 98).
“If you can keep people afraid, and give them an enemy who is responsible for their fear, you can get people to do just about anything” (pg 104).
“The opposite of play is not work - the opposite of play is depression” (pg 107).
“Where shame exists, empathy is almost always absent” (pg 129).
“Empathy is at the heart of connection” (pg 163).
“If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities” (pg 187).
“Don’t choose silence over what is right” (pg 191).
“Choose courage over comfort” (pg 193).
“I believe strengths-based feedback style is the best approach, in which you explain some of the strengths or things that they do really well that have not been applied to the current situation. ‘One of the greatest strengths is attention to detail. You do sweat the small stuff and it makes a big difference in our team. As I look at this, I don’t see you applying that skill here, and we need it.’ If you are in such a state of anger that you cannot come up with a single positive quality that this person possesses, then you are not in the right head space to give good feedback until you can be less emotionally reactive” (pg 200)
“If you come in defensive, guarded, and ready to kick some ass with hard feedback, that feedback will bounce right off someone hitting across from you who is also defensive, guarded, and ready to kick some ass” (pg 201).
“allow people to have feelings without taking responsibility for those feelings'“ (pg 202).
“Mastery requires feedback” (pg 202).
“I am brave enough to listen” (pg 203).
“‘I stayed connected, I stayed courageous, I stayed authentic, I stayed curious,’ then that itself is daring, and that in itself is a win” (pg 205).
“We don’t fully see people until we know their values” (pg 209).
“an assumption of positive intent relies on the core belief that people are doing the best they can with what they’ve got, versus that people are lazy, disengaged, and maybe even trying to piss us off on purpose” (pg 214).
“Knowledge is only rumor until it lives in the bones” (pg 224).
Practice your values, don’t merely profess them (pg 227).
“When we refuse to ask for help, we will find that we keep getting the same projects that leaders know we can do. We will not be given anything that might stretch our capacity or skill set because they don’t believe we will ask for help if we find ourselves in over our heads” (pg 228).
“Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt” (pg 238).
“We expect you to be brave. That means that you should expect to fall. We’ve got a plan” (pg 242).
“To confabulate is to replace missing information with something false that we believe to be true . . . the stories were confabulations - lies, honestly told” (pg 261).
Grade: A+
One of my favorites. Packed full of great life and leading advice, but also jammed with little stick-it-in-your-pocket truths - the kind that can be cut and pasted and printed on scraps of paper for early morning staff meetings. Like this morning.
A must read.
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“Leaders are people who have influence over and can make an impact on the world” (pg 19).
“Innovation is a way of thinking that creates something new and better” (pg 19).
There is not substitute for a teacher who designs authentic, participatory, and relevant learning experiences for her unique population of students. The role of the teacher is to inspire learning and develop skills and mindsets of learners. A teacher, as designer and facilitator, should continually evolve with resources, experiences, and the support of a community. It is becoming increasingly clear that we don’t necessarily need to transform the role of teachers, rather crate a culture that inspires and empowers teacher to innovate in their pursuit of providing optimal learning experiences for their students” (pg 20).
“Accepting failure as a final outcome, especially when it comes to our kids, is not something we should ever embrace” (pg 37).
It is important to continually ask, “How does this student learn best?” and “What are some ways students can demonstrate their knowledge?” Instead of continually writing down their knowledge, could they create a video, share a podcast, create a visual, or do something else? (pg 39).
“Risk is necessary to ensure that we are meeting the needs of each unique student” (pg 51).
“Yes, it is important, if not crucial, to listen and respond to our students’ input, but it is equally important to help them become resilient and face adversity . . . how you recover from failure and move forward is important to how you learn and how you live” (pg 57).
“What we model is what we get” - Jimmy Cases
“Educators are not scared of change, but they don’t always feel supported to take the risks in the first place . . . if an administrator takes a risk that no one can see, does anyone learn from it?” (pg 59).
“Innovation is not about changing everything; sometime you only need to change one thing” (pg 59).
“It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do” (pg. 73).
“If I were a teacher in this school, what would I expect from my principal?” (pg 88).
“Innovation often comes from conflict and disagreement, not in an adversarial way but in a way that promotes divergent thinking” (pg 90).
“What are some ways that you get in the “middle” of learning to understand the needs of those you serve?” (pg 91).
“Engagement is a good thing, but I’ve since learned that we must also empower students and equip them with the skills to learn. It is imperative that we teach learners how to be self-directed and guide their own learning, rather than rely on others to simply engage them” (pg 96).
“If you had to choose between compliant, engaged, or empowered, which word would you want to define your students?” (pg 97).
“In an age when innovation is increasingly a group endeavor, it [Google] also cares about a lot of soft skills - leadership, humility, collaboration, adaptability, and loving to learn and re-learn. This will be true no matter where you go to work” (pg 104).
“If we want innovative students, we need to be innovative leaders and educators. If we want to create a culture of innovation, we must first focus on furthering our own learning and growth” (pg 110).
“We do not learn from experience; we learn from reflecting on experience” - John Dewey
“Having so many ideas and facts at their fingertips is helpful for students - as long as they understand how to discern truth from fiction and know why it’s important to consider the source of information” (pg 113).
“People who do have the opportunity to focus on their strengths every day are six times as likely to be engaged in their jobs and more than three times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life in general” - Tom Rath, “Strengths Finder 2.0”
“Great leaders practice balancing trust and autonomy while providing strong mentorship” (pg 127).
“Giving people the chance to try something new or pursue something they love is not something we should only value for our students but also for our staff . . . when we show a genuine interest in those whom we serve and go out of our way to help them become successful in areas about which they are passionate, they are more likely to go above and beyond what is expected” (pg 133).
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak” - Hans Hofmann
“Every single person’s plate size is different” (pg 161).
“To truly integrate new learning, it is critical to carve out time for exploration, collaboration, and reflection to allow educators to apply what they are learning” (pg 182).
“There are many reasons why we don’t model the learning process as adults, but one of the biggest ones is ego” (pg 183).
“Before we can decide if our schools our successful, we have to first define what success means, realizing our impact is measured long after a child leaves school” (pg 214)
TED Talks:
Daniel Pink
Barry Schwarts
Susan Cain
Seth Godin, “Stop Stealing Dreams”
Barry Schwartz, “Paradox of Choice”
Derek Sivers, “Obvious to You. Amazing to Others”
Book:
Invent to Learn, by Gary Stager
A great read and one I wish I could have spent more time on, both for myself and with the staff. Sadly, I read it during the COVID-19 Pandemic and a good chunk of his ideas were too much for us to bear at the moment.
Grade: A
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“Librarians must be leaders in the fields of education, technology, and information and be both willing and able to share their expertise” (pg 1).
“If we want students to meet technology standards, adults must do the same” (pg 8).
“We are very good at associating librarians with our past, but the question is, do you see them as part of the future” (pg 15).
“Change the focus from what we want students to do to what we want them to be” (pg 17).
“{Libraries} are the spaces where we get help, find information, and explore topics that we find interesting” (pg 20).
“Being born in the digital age and having access to technology does not mean they have a deep understanding of how technology works or impacts them, and they are often limited in their usage by adults. They are explorers of the digital world but don’t see it as magic” (pg 20).
“ . . . we need to engage our students in discussions about usage, responsibility and decision making” (pg 21).
“One of the most important adult relationships that librarians can foster is with teachers and staff in their school or district” (pg 21).
“Culture does not change because we desire to change it. Culture changes when the organization is transformed; the culture reflects the realities of people working together every day” (pg 35).
“Keep in mind that your school, and what goes on in it, is a reflection of the community it serves” (pg 38).
“Your librarian is one of the few people in the school district that connects with every student and supports every teacher. They know the school differently than you do” (pg 39).
“{The librarian’s role} is to empower your teachers and sometimes that means pushing them to learn and try new things outside their comfort zone” (pg 44).
“If you don’t tell your story, someone else will” (pg 49).
“Leaders are a champion for their programs, initiatives, students, staff, and community” (pg 49).
“You can’t be a champion for everything all at once. What you can do is define your story and determine how to tell it” (pg 50).
“Just because you have a busy calendar doesn’t mean that you’re being effective. It means you’re doing lots of stuff” (pg 55).
“Can one be literate in the digital age without having an understanding of the messages of media or how to critically consume information?” (pg 74).
“As we look at trends in news coverage, bias, and how we share and personally vet information, being critical consumers of information is one of the most important skills that we can teach our students . . . images and videos have become even more prevalent through digital tools, so we must help our students understand the messages that they are both consuming and creating” (pg 75).
Grade: A
Simple and short, yet deeply profound. I gave this to my librarian, copied chapters for different teachers, and have been inspired to truly invest in our library, librarian, and digital literacy.
A must-read for educational leaders.
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“Almost sixty years ago, just after midnight, a few feet from the river where they danced, a wonder of modern engineering occurred: overnight, the Berlin Wall arose. It was the night of August 15, 1961. Berliners awoke on the sixteenth to this marvel, more of a fence at first, concrete posts driven into the streets and festooned with barbed wire. The knew trouble would come but expected it in degrees. Life so often arrives all of a sudden. And who know which side you will find yourself on?” (pg 124).
It isn’t often I am so deeply disappointed in a book. Largely because it is so very rare that I get so excited for a book. Yet, this book captured both: my anticipation and my deep disappointment.
Grade: C-
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There is a LOT here worth noting, and too much to retype. So I’ll simply highlight my favorite bit of learned information that will stick with me forever:
Mastodon means “nipple teeth” (pg 81).
Grade: B
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One of the most influential yet least underlined books on my shelf.
I love quotes and little nuggets of thought I can steal from books. This one provides none. It does, however, provide a thesis statement that has an immediate and everlasting affect on how I view others.
Essentially, Gladwell argues (and proves) that we cannot trust our “gut” when it comes to reading people. Where terrible at it - even the best of us! The ones who are good at it are extremely skeptical and terrible people to be around.
The reason we’re terrible? Because we have an unhealthy default of trust in people. Which isn’t bad! It does cause us to misjudge people, however, which is why Gladwell argues that we need to continually be curious of people, we need to ask a shit load of questions.
Which is something I can completely get behind.
“By far the worst thing we do to males - by making them feel they have to be hard - is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is” (pg 27).
“The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are” (pg 34).
“Culture does not make people. People make culture” (pg 46).
Grade: A
Simple, short, yet powerful read. I love most everything Miss Adichie writes or says, and this was no different.
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“He left a taste of thunder in my mouth” (pg 4).
“I’m not made for this. I need people. I hate sitting with telephones” (pg 24).
“To survive, you learn to learn quickly” (pg 38).
“A Jew should not only talk, he should also do” (pg 81).
“Live and be well” (pg 83).
“To touch a person’s heart, you must see a person’s face” (pg 117).
“We must fight against it. Otherwise it will destroy the world” (pg 177).
“Every great artist is a man who has freed himself from his family, his nation, his race. Every man who has shown the world the way to beauty, to true culture, has been a rebel, a ‘universal’ without patriotism, without home, who has found his people everywhere” (pg 203).
“Only those who have mastered a tradition has a right to attempt to add to it or to rebel against it” (pg 213).
“You have a gift, Asher Lev. You have a responsibility” (pg 217).
“You will enter in truth or you will enter not at all” (pg 287).
“You have cross a boundary. I cannot help you. You are alone now. I give you my blessings” (pg 367).
Grade: A+
One of my all-time favorites. I rarely read a book more than once, but this one is an exception.
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“People will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think. What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one . . . Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us” (pg xix).
A “conversation” is “all techniques that permit people of a particular culture to exchange messages” (pg 6).
A message denotes a specific, concrete statement about the world. But the forms of our media, including the symbols through which they permit conversation, do not make such statements. They are rather like metaphors, working by unobtrusive but powerful implication to enforce their special definitions of reality” (pg 10).
“What is peculiar about such interpositions of media is that their role in directing what we will see or know is so rarely noticed” (pg 11).
“The clock made us into time-keepers, and then time-savers, and now time-servers. In the process we have learned irreverence toward the sun and the seasons, for in a world made up of seconds and minutes, the authority of nature is superseded” (pg 11).
“Intelligence is primarily defined as one’s capacity to grasp the truth of things” (pg 25).
“Anyone who is even slightly familiar with the history of communications knows that every new technology for thinking involves a trade off. It giveth and taketh away, although not quite in equal measure” (pg 29).
“A technology is merely a machine. A medium is the social and intellectual environment a machine creates . . . Each technology has an agenda of its own” (pg 84).
“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas; they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials” (pg 93).
“Americans are the best entertained and quite likely the least well-informed people in the Western world” (pg 106).
Grade: B
Slightly outdated, but still relevant and full of ideas and consequences worth considering.
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