As always, my goal for the year was 30 books. I finished this year with 29 . . . rats!!!.
My Top Five Recommendations from the Year, in no particular order:
5. Personal and Authentic, by Thomas C. Murray
4. Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman
3. My Name is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok
2. The Great Alone, by Kristin Hannah
1. Leading with a Limp, by Dan B. Allender
Honorable Mentions:
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Grade: B
I don’t know. It wasn’t great, but there was definitely some redeeming qualities which, in contrast to Holden Caulfield, made the reading worth it.
Eleanor Oliphant reminded me of two individuals. On the one hand, she is Holden in that she is bratty and arrogant and generally unlikeable - at least for the first third of the story. But then, she has a change and her more redeeming qualities stand out, making her enjoyable. Unlike Mr. Coulfield.
She also reminds me of the main character in Queen’s Gambit in that she is a bit uncomfortable and not a natural fit to the societal norms. Yet, there is something attractive about her, something that draws you in and wonders.
I’m not sure I would recommend it to many, but I wouldn’t discourage you from taking if off my shelf either.
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Another book I had to read for grad class.
Here is my critique:
Writer and conservationist Boyd Varty grew up observing wild animals on the Londolozi Game Reserve in South Africa. His unique upbringing provided him a unique vantage point of the animal kingdom, and humanity. “People get a huge worry about the value in the world if they're not busy and doing something and being productive,” he says in an interview with the TED Radio Hour host, Guy Raz. “But in nature,” he continues, “everything is just so uniquely itself.” Which, according to Varty, “is the essence of wisdom - to be where you are and to allow action to arise out of that being.”
In many ways, Keith Ferrazzi argues, the same for healthy organizations. That, in order to be healthy and strong, to work together in harmony, and to allow a culture of action rather than inaction, they community and everyone in it must have the confidence to be uniquely itself and not defined by power or position. “Position does not define power,” Ferrazzi writes, because “impact defines power” (p. 19). And the impact any one individual can impose upon a school or company directly depends upon how they view their role within the school or company.
Ferrazzi writes that “We all need to think of ourselves as leaders, as innovators, regardless of our job titles” (p. 24) for if we want to achieve an outcome that has a greater impact than what we might have achieve on your own, we “have to arrive with a sense of curiosity at the forefront of our mind.” We have to “set aside our conviction that our way is the right way” and “open ourself up to the assumption that others on our team have ideas that may be far better than yours” (p. 28). We have to be willing to see our roles and unique selves as part of a great whole. No one role is greater than another.
Unlike Bolman and Deal (Leading with the Soul), Ferrazzi’s Leading Without Authority offers sage advice and personal stories of how to improve a working culture and strengthen relationships. There is little fluff, and a great deal of hard work. “We need people who don’t make excuses,” he writes, “who take the lead in innovating and lead without authority when it’s necessary to get things done” (Ferrazzi, p. 38). Ferrazzi then provides hands-on, real life examples of men and women who have taken the burden of transforming their teams through difficult yet purposeful decisions and relationships yet, all the while, acknowledge and accepting that the process will not be easy. “I am not ignoring the reality of difficult situations” he writes, “I’m saying instead, that if success matters to you, you’re the only one who can overcome the obstacle in your way. Even when facing our most daunting problems, we have 100 percent of the power over how we choose to react.” (p. 51). Which is advice that everyone – leader or non – needs to hear. But also, “One of the best things about accepting the mindset of leading with authority is that it can cure the disease of seeing yourself as a victim” (p. 55).
But perhaps the greatest advice Ferrazzi preaches is that of community and team, of purpose, and how to help others find their role in life and within the company. “People do not want to be told,” he writes,
“They want to be part of something. A new type of leadership is needed that is human, authentic, purposeful, and is about creating the right environment for others to flourish. This type of leadership will create trust, unlock self-motivation, and is needed to unleash extraordinary performance” (p 66).
Daniel Pink, the New York Times Bestseller and author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, agrees. According to Pink, every human has three key components to their motivation: Mastery – or the desire to get better at stuff, Purpose – the longing to make the world a better place, and Autonomy – the need to be self-directed. People don’t want to be told or bought or manipulated into doing something, they want autonomy on how to do it, the ability to get better at it, and a strong and purposeful Why for why it matters.
Ferrazzi also considers and appropriately argues for the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in relationships. “When you speak with someone in a way that is humble and vulnerable,” he writes, “you tap into each other’s humanity and encourage the other person to open up and take more risks with you. (p. 74). A practice akin to Brene Brown and her New York Times Bestseller, Dare to Lead. “The courage to be vulnerable,” she writes, “is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome” (pg 7). Leading is not about power or force, it isn’t about manipulating minds with fear or gimmicks, its about being people and treating people like people. It’s about investing in one another, finding one’s gifts or talents – their passions – and allowing them to use them openly and without fear. Leaders helps others do this, making leaders and the actions of leadership something that everyone can do, no matter their title. “You have to make the choice to care,” Ferrazzi writes, “and you have to let your teammates know it. You need to tell them. Better still, you need to tell them and show them. In whatever way you can, make sure they not only hear it, but experience it” (p. 75). Which can take considerable time.
In a time where numbers and figures and charts that monitor our improvement and measure our growth, leadership must be patient. “It takes time for givers to build goodwill and trust,” Ferrazzi reminds us, “but eventually, they establish reputations and relationships that enhance their success” (p 78) which will, in the end, produce greater success, a stronger working environment, and (because it’s what the higher-ups care about) stronger numbers. People who feel valued, feel heard, want to come to work, to share their ideas, and to help contribute. Thus making them more valuable. Leaders who exist in a small space, who primarily focus on the data, on growth, and a small number of opinions will find their companies or schools struggling and in a constant state of disarray and turnover. They will find workers unable to lead because they are unwilling.
The last piece of wisdom worth noting is Farrazzi’s emphasis on criticism and growth. “We tend to tune out criticism when it is dished out by someone who only seems to want to point out what we did wrong,” he writes. But “when we give feedback out of a spirit of truly wanting to help the other person become the best they can possibly be, it is the ultimate form of generosity” (p 143). As leaders who are trying to inspire others to lead without authority, this concept is crucial because it goes both ways. Not only does it remind the positioned leader on how to provide criticism to his or her employees (with a spirit of true help, empathy, and concern), it demands that they in turn receive criticism with a similar spirit of reception and openness. How leaders receive feedback is an immediate and real example to their staff on how they view their opinion (is it truly valid?), but it is also a lesson on how to receive information we really don’t want or like hearing. If the boss refuses to hear what needs to be said, why would the employees?
Leading without authority also means saying hard things because we care about people, we care about them doing well, being well, and providing the best they can for our businesses or schools. Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind” (p. 247) Keith Ferrazzi is a bit more longwinded:
“Team leaders often think they are being “kind” by not sharing feedback that will hurt someone’s feelings, but kindness requires the courage to be candid. It’s easy to confuse kindness with weakness, but true kindness requires strength. High performance environments rely on candor and transparency, because that’s what it takes to create rich, collaborative partnerships that produce extraordinary results” (p 151).
As leaders, we must be willing to look at a colleague or boss and say, “That isn’t good enough.” Because it isn’t. But in order to be heard, in order for the recipient to receive our thoughts, our slight (or even heavy) rebuke, we must have a foundation of trust previously built, and that is exactly what Keith Ferrazzi is arguing throughout Leading Without Authority. That in order for us to have a the ability to speak into another’s life, we must be men and women who have gained authority by our actions and words, not merely by position. We must use our gifts and abilities as good people to build a platform that will allow us to use our gifts and abilities as workers to help change the people we work with.
“Everything is just so uniquely itself” Boyd Varty says of the animal kingdom, “And by being uniquely itself they are a part of a greater unfolding.” He called this unity. Keith Farrazzi calls it leading without authority.
“Mostly he was afraid for Leni, because no matter how this all worked out, no matter if she did everything perfectly and got away and saved her mom, Leni’s heart would always have a broken place. It didn’t matter how you lost a parent or how great or shitty that parent was, a kid grieved forever. Matthew grieved for the mother he’d had. He figured Leni would grieve for the dad she wanted” (pg 359).
One of my favorites. Beautifully written, often poignant, and truthfully told. I loved this story.
Grade: A+
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I had to read this for a grad class. I was thoroughly disappointed.
Here is my written critique:
It is difficult for me to critique a book like this because it is so far outside my chosen genre. Like The Shack or The Energy Bus, there is goodness in them and definitely nuggets of truth worth capturing and applying, but the sing-song, feel-good ending of these types of fictional stories leave me with a giant sense of shallowness. I just don’t buy it.
From where I sit each morning in my office, whenever I read this type of book, it seems that they steal the best part of religion – the connecting with one’s soul, finding purpose, and turning our lives around – but then bypass all the hard stuff. Which is what makes them so popular! They promise a new life where everything comes together in the end and flowers bloom, but skip or gloss over the hard work! My question to them and to this book specifically is that: What if it doesn’t have a happy ending? What if the lives we impact change for the better, but ours remain the same? Is it still worth it? Would we still “connect with our soul” and walk through this process?
From what I can read, I think they would prefer not to answer.
For this book specifically, the question can be modified to, What is the purpose of leading with the soul? Is it for those we lead, or ourselves? More directly, if it ONLY impacts those we lead, is it still worth it?
Bolman and Deal do not answer this question.
They do, however, provide some insight and wisdom which are worth remembering, namely, that “The search for meaning, purpose, wholeness, and integrations is a constant, never-ending task” and “to confine this search to one day a week or after hours violates people’s basic sense of integrity, of being whole persons. In short, souls is not something one leaves at home” (Bolman, 2011).
Leading with the soul, connecting with others, and making the impact we so desperately desire is not something that can be done half-heartedly and between the hours of 8-4:30. It is a lifestyle, a constant struggle, and one that takes deliberate and intentional time and effort.
It is also extremely hard. And Bolman and Deal acknowledge this. They also contradict it.
“You want everything planned in advance” Maria observes, “That’s fine for a trip to Chicago. It won’t work for a journey of the spirit. First, you have to get started. Move into uncharted territory. Explore. Reflect. You’ll know when you’re on course” (Bolman, 2011). Which is true. When a leader of any sort begins their journey they cannot possibly know where it will go or how long it will take them to get there. Yet Stevens journey, although uncharted, was relatively simple with only a few minor setbacks that ended in a grand arrival of everything he had hoped and dreamed – in just a few hundred short pages. And that is exactly what the reader will expect as well. For as Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how,” and although Stevens’ journey is not clearly mapped, the destination is made clear: holistic success. This, I believe, deceives the reader into believing that if he or she were to merely connect with and lead with their soul, although it might be bumpy at times, in the end everything will turn out great. Which, I think, is a dangerous promise to make.
Another nugget worth capturing from this book is this, that “The spiritual journey that we as leaders must take to inspire other begins with ourselves but not necessarily by ourselves” (pg 66). Yet, I think this too is a bit incomplete, all because of one minor word that carries large ramifications, “by ourselves.” If we change “by” with “for” it reads, “The spiritual journey that we as leaders must take to inspire others begins with ourselves but not necessarily for ourselves.” This statement points, I think, more acutely to where we as leaders should be heading, and why: Towards others and for others. Much like we are instructed on a plane, to put ours masks on first before serving others, the purpose of this command is not that we take care of ourselves and survive the moment, but more importantly, TO HELP OTHERS! The spiritual journey will help us – even save us – but that is NOT why we embark on it. We do it for our teachers, our students, and those we serve. We do it so THEY may survive and thrive, not merely ourselves.
John Dickson,author of Humilitas: The Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership provides what I think a more complete idea of why we must connect with and lead with the soul. Dickson argues that “The most influential and inspiring people are often marked by humility” (p. 19). However, humility – according to Dickson, is not what we believe it to be.
Rather than an attribute that thinks lowly of oneself or “Down to earth” as is often said about someone with humble attributes, Dickson argues that for one to be humble they must have a complete and healthy perspective of themselves, their gifts, and their talents. They must know when and how they are great! Then, to live humbly, they must, “forgo their status, deploy their resources or use their influence for the good of others before themselves” (pg. 24). They are men and women who are characterized more by how they teat others than how they think of themselves.
This is where I believe Bolman and Deal fall short, because although they talk about others and the success Steve helped bring to his business, the focus is on him and his life and how it turned around.
Bolman and Deal capture Dickson’s mindset slightly when they write, “You lead with soul by giving it to others” (pg 78), but it is too little when compared with the breadth of the whole story and all that is happening. When the focus is on Steve’s personal success and happily-ever-after ending, truths such as these are lost and forgotten.
So too is this powerful image. “You see the branches sinking under the weight of snow?” Steve asks in a rare moment of transparent and accurate depth, “That’s how I feel at work. Drooping under the burden. Like I’ve given all I can. There’s not enough to go around” (pg 93). Now that is something every leader can resonate with, the weight of responsibility and the fear of crumbling beneath it. In this instance, Bolman and Deal do a great job of providing what I believe to be the unpopular yet accurate answer: “Without giving, there can be no real leadership (pg 122).” And later, “{Leaders} need to help others find and make productive use of many sources of power – information, resources, allies, access, and autonomy” (pg 132). This is true leadership. This is where we connect with and lead with the soul, when we turn our focus outward and help others achieve their greatness and power. For when that happens, they in turn will recognize the need to share that power with those they serve and come into contact with, thus making them more great and more powerful. To the point that, even if the leader’s life is still deemed “unsuccessful,” they will have a cloud of witnesses who are living testimonies to their great leadership and guidance. They will have fulfilled a greater purpose than merely serving and loving themselves.
In closing, and to answer the question of whether or not I would recommend this book, the answer is, “sparingly.” There are some whom I know who would find this book encouraging and uplifting, which is great! My fear would always be that they believe if they read this book and live out some of its truths that their lives would also end so blissfully. And if it doesn’t, they would be crushed. And rightfully so.
'“Pessimists don’t change the world. Critics write words but they don’t write the future. Naysayers talk about problems but they don’t solve them” (pg. 9).
“Culture drives expectations and beliefs. Expectations and beliefs drives behaviors. Behaviors drive habits. And habits create the future” (pg. 16).
“You can’t create a culture where people hear about what’s important. You must create a culture where people feel what’s important. You must create a culture where people don’t just hear your talk but rather they feel your walk. When the feel the mission and also hear about the mission, they’ll be on a mission” (pg. 24).
“A positive leader sees what’s possible and then takes the next steps to rally and unite people to create it” (pg. 31).
Learn to talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself (pg. 52).
“Greatness is never born from easy circumstances. We become stronger when the world becomes harder” (pg. 59).
“Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (pg. 65).
”If you are complaining you are not leading. If you are complaining you are not showing your team the way forward. Complaining causes you and your team to focus on everything but being your best. It causes you to be stuck where you are instead of moving forward to where you want to be” (pg 81).
“Besides selfishness, the enemies are busyness and stress” (pg. 94.).
“People follow the leader first and their vision second. What you say is important, but who you are is even more important” (pg. 101).
“Self-serving leaders don’t leave legacies that change the world for the better. They may make money and achieve some fame in the short run, but true greatness is achieved when a leader brings out the greatness in others. Great leaders are great servants” (pg 120).
“When you focus on helping others improve, you improve. When you lose your ego in the service of others, you find the greatness within you” (pg 127).
“If someone violates the process and you don’t address it, then everyone knows you aren’t committed to it. If you don’t hold people accountable to it, your team won’t live and breathe it” (pg 140).
“There will be days that you wake up and don’t feel very positive. There will be times your culture doesn’t seem strong. There will be moments you don’t feel very positive about the vision of where you are going. There will be meetings where the energy vampires seem like they have the upper hand. There will be conversations where you don’t feel like communicating and connecting. There will be nights where you wonder why you chose a leadership position at all. It’s times like these where you need a purpose to give you something to be positive about” (pg 151).
“People think hard work is what makes us tired. Hard word doesn’t make us tired. A lack of purpose is what makes us tired. We don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it” (pg 152).
“Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals” (pg 170).
“Leadership is knowing that the critics will criticize you while still saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done. History doesn’t remember the critic. It remembers the one who withstood criticism to accomplish something great” (pg 175)
“Leaders are people who have influence over and can make an impact on the world” (pg 19).
“Innovation is a way of thinking that creates something new and better” (pg 19).
There is not substitute for a teacher who designs authentic, participatory, and relevant learning experiences for her unique population of students. The role of the teacher is to inspire learning and develop skills and mindsets of learners. A teacher, as designer and facilitator, should continually evolve with resources, experiences, and the support of a community. It is becoming increasingly clear that we don’t necessarily need to transform the role of teachers, rather crate a culture that inspires and empowers teacher to innovate in their pursuit of providing optimal learning experiences for their students” (pg 20).
“Accepting failure as a final outcome, especially when it comes to our kids, is not something we should ever embrace” (pg 37).
It is important to continually ask, “How does this student learn best?” and “What are some ways students can demonstrate their knowledge?” Instead of continually writing down their knowledge, could they create a video, share a podcast, create a visual, or do something else? (pg 39).
“Risk is necessary to ensure that we are meeting the needs of each unique student” (pg 51).
“Yes, it is important, if not crucial, to listen and respond to our students’ input, but it is equally important to help them become resilient and face adversity . . . how you recover from failure and move forward is important to how you learn and how you live” (pg 57).
“What we model is what we get” - Jimmy Cases
“Educators are not scared of change, but they don’t always feel supported to take the risks in the first place . . . if an administrator takes a risk that no one can see, does anyone learn from it?” (pg 59).
“Innovation is not about changing everything; sometime you only need to change one thing” (pg 59).
“It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do” (pg. 73).
“If I were a teacher in this school, what would I expect from my principal?” (pg 88).
“Innovation often comes from conflict and disagreement, not in an adversarial way but in a way that promotes divergent thinking” (pg 90).
“What are some ways that you get in the “middle” of learning to understand the needs of those you serve?” (pg 91).
“Engagement is a good thing, but I’ve since learned that we must also empower students and equip them with the skills to learn. It is imperative that we teach learners how to be self-directed and guide their own learning, rather than rely on others to simply engage them” (pg 96).
“If you had to choose between compliant, engaged, or empowered, which word would you want to define your students?” (pg 97).
“In an age when innovation is increasingly a group endeavor, it [Google] also cares about a lot of soft skills - leadership, humility, collaboration, adaptability, and loving to learn and re-learn. This will be true no matter where you go to work” (pg 104).
“If we want innovative students, we need to be innovative leaders and educators. If we want to create a culture of innovation, we must first focus on furthering our own learning and growth” (pg 110).
“We do not learn from experience; we learn from reflecting on experience” - John Dewey
“Having so many ideas and facts at their fingertips is helpful for students - as long as they understand how to discern truth from fiction and know why it’s important to consider the source of information” (pg 113).
“People who do have the opportunity to focus on their strengths every day are six times as likely to be engaged in their jobs and more than three times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life in general” - Tom Rath, “Strengths Finder 2.0”
“Great leaders practice balancing trust and autonomy while providing strong mentorship” (pg 127).
“Giving people the chance to try something new or pursue something they love is not something we should only value for our students but also for our staff . . . when we show a genuine interest in those whom we serve and go out of our way to help them become successful in areas about which they are passionate, they are more likely to go above and beyond what is expected” (pg 133).
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak” - Hans Hofmann
“Every single person’s plate size is different” (pg 161).
“To truly integrate new learning, it is critical to carve out time for exploration, collaboration, and reflection to allow educators to apply what they are learning” (pg 182).
“There are many reasons why we don’t model the learning process as adults, but one of the biggest ones is ego” (pg 183).
“Before we can decide if our schools our successful, we have to first define what success means, realizing our impact is measured long after a child leaves school” (pg 214)
TED Talks:
Daniel Pink
Barry Schwarts
Susan Cain
Seth Godin, “Stop Stealing Dreams”
Barry Schwartz, “Paradox of Choice”
Derek Sivers, “Obvious to You. Amazing to Others”
Book:
Invent to Learn, by Gary Stager
A great read and one I wish I could have spent more time on, both for myself and with the staff. Sadly, I read it during the COVID-19 Pandemic and a good chunk of his ideas were too much for us to bear at the moment.
Grade: A
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“By far the worst thing we do to males - by making them feel they have to be hard - is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is” (pg 27).
“The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are” (pg 34).
“Culture does not make people. People make culture” (pg 46).
Grade: A
Simple, short, yet powerful read. I love most everything Miss Adichie writes or says, and this was no different.
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“People will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think. What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one . . . Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us” (pg xix).
A “conversation” is “all techniques that permit people of a particular culture to exchange messages” (pg 6).
A message denotes a specific, concrete statement about the world. But the forms of our media, including the symbols through which they permit conversation, do not make such statements. They are rather like metaphors, working by unobtrusive but powerful implication to enforce their special definitions of reality” (pg 10).
“What is peculiar about such interpositions of media is that their role in directing what we will see or know is so rarely noticed” (pg 11).
“The clock made us into time-keepers, and then time-savers, and now time-servers. In the process we have learned irreverence toward the sun and the seasons, for in a world made up of seconds and minutes, the authority of nature is superseded” (pg 11).
“Intelligence is primarily defined as one’s capacity to grasp the truth of things” (pg 25).
“Anyone who is even slightly familiar with the history of communications knows that every new technology for thinking involves a trade off. It giveth and taketh away, although not quite in equal measure” (pg 29).
“A technology is merely a machine. A medium is the social and intellectual environment a machine creates . . . Each technology has an agenda of its own” (pg 84).
“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas; they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials” (pg 93).
“Americans are the best entertained and quite likely the least well-informed people in the Western world” (pg 106).
Grade: B
Slightly outdated, but still relevant and full of ideas and consequences worth considering.
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I didn’t highlight this one a lot because it wasn’t mine. But here are a few quotes I couldn’t pass up:
“Men in the peaceful areas were depressed because they couldn’t help their society by participating in the struggle” (pg 49).
“Air raids failed to trigger the kind of mass hysteria that government officials had predicted” (pg 51).
“What catastrophes seem to do - sometimes in teh span of a few minutes - is turn back the clock on ten thousand years of social evolution. Self-interest gets subsumed into group interest because there is no survival outside group survival, and that creates a social bond that many people sorely miss” (pg 66).
Grade: B+
There wasn’t much new or groundbreaking, but there were a few great reminders of how important tribes are to mankind and how danger and pain and suffering can actually be agents to draw us together, rather than pull us apart.
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