Friday Though : The wheels ALMOST came off.

The trailer looked fine.

I’ve hauled with it plenty of times. Not daily, but enough. Around town, to the dump, here and there. Nothing about it screamed danger. It didn’t even whisper it.

But I was heading out on a longer run — out of town, hauling heavy, up and down Montana highways. So I figured I’d stop and get the bearings greased. Just a quick check. Just in case.

The mechanic didn’t hesitate:
“This thing needs work. Like… real work. Today.”

And suddenly, what felt like an overcautious errand looked a lot more like a near-miss.

It’s funny how often life plays out like that.

We learn to live with the squeaks and rattles.
We call them quirks.
We normalize them.
We tell ourselves, “It’s probably fine.”

And it is… until it isn’t.

There’s this moment that happens — when the mechanic steps out and says the thing we weren’t expecting — and it shifts something. Not just in our trip plans, but in our gut.

That moment when we realize: a little delay now, a little discomfort, a little cost — those might just be the things that keep everything else from falling apart later.

Like the literal wheels falling off.
At 65 mph.
On a mountain.

THAT would have been awful. And it could have happened — if I had ignored the little squeaks and rattles, or simply pushed them aside as something to do later.
When I get back.
When I have time.

And now, with my trailer in the shop and work on hold for a bit, this experience has me thinking:

What if the wise thing isn’t to respond quickly — but to check regularly?

Because not every warning light flashes red.
Sometimes it’s a feeling.
Sometimes it’s a creak when you hit a bump.
Sometimes it’s just something you’ve been meaning to get to.
And sometimes — oftentimes — in comparison to the immediate needs and demands, it doesn’t even register at all.

I know I’m awful at this. Just awful.
So if I don’t intentionally schedule times to check in, they NEVER happen.
(Eric Beard, if you’re reading, I promise — I WILL call.)

Things like: a date with my wife.
Intentional conversations with my kids.
Checking in on staff members or friends.
Getting the trailer looked at.

Maybe you can relate. If so, I encourage you (and require myself) to:

• Schedule a regular check-in with your spouse — not because something’s wrong, but because it’s worth protecting.

• Block out one morning a month to evaluate your pace, your margin, your sleep. What habits do I need to change or tweak?

• Ask your kids how they’re doing — and don’t accept “fine” if it comes too fast.

• Build in spiritual maintenance — not just Sunday, but in the little spaces between.

• Rest before burnout.

• Invest in what matters before it starts to fall apart.

Life doesn’t just need emergency stops.
It needs routine checkups.
It needs people who aren’t just reactive — but intentional.
And it needs the kind of wisdom that says,
“Let’s not wait until the wheel comes off.”

Sometimes, pulling into the shop isn’t a waste of time.
Sometimes, it’s the thing that allows us to return home — to the things that matter.

That's what I've been thinking about this week.

Friday Thought : Things that Can't Wait

This week I had the privilege of helping two families in the middle of hard seasons.

One—a brother and sister as they packed up their parents’ home. Both passed of them past in the last year, and now, their children are trying to work through what has been left behind. Every box, every piece of furniture seemed to carry a story, and some of them were too heavy to name. You could feel it in the silence between them, the long pauses as they decided what to keep, what to let go. How can any of it be called trash? What is the price of Dad’s favorite chair, of Mom’s knick-knacks?

The other—a couple who just received news no one ever wants to hear. With their time together now feeling shorter than it should, they’re finally finishing projects and planning the bucket-list trip they’ve been putting off “until things settled down.” The wife - the mother - is the sweetest lady. She loves her family and is never shy of sharing a kind word. Amid the tears, she smiles, laughs, and hopes.

And it was all very sobering.

This work—hauling, cleaning, sorting—does more than tire my body. It works on my heart.
In moments like these, I have a unique opportunity to see, and be reminded of, what truly matters.
And what doesn’t.

It’s easy to spend the drive home in reflection, and wonder . . . how many of us are still putting off the things that really matter?

We convince ourselves there’s plenty of time. That someday we’ll get around to it. But someday is fragile.

The words left unsaid.
The trip we keep dreaming about but never book.
The quiet dinner without the phones.
The porch swing at sunset.
The apology that’s overdue.
The hug we’ve been meaning to give.
The time with our kids before they grow up and leave.

Not everything can wait.

And maybe that’s the gift of this work: the reminder to take stock now. To say what needs to be said. To do what needs to be done. To love the people we love, while we still have the chance to love them well.

Because “someday” is already here. Probably more than we, than I, would like to admit.

That's what I've been thinking about this week.

Friday Thought : How quickly Moments turn to Memories.

Today, I reconnected with an old friend. And it was so very good. Largely because, as I recently told my wife, life is lonely.

I don’t know about you, but with a house full of kiddos, bills to pay, ruts to get out of, and dreams to pursue (plus taking my wife out on a date . . . every year or so), there just doesn’t seem to be enough time to pursue meaningful relationships. To invest deeply in the spare moments I have with those around me.

Said more honestly, making time for friends and family members isn’t a priority. Not because I don’t care, but because if I don’t answer that call or text that friend, there are no immediate consequences, no tangible accountability. When I don’t fix that leaky faucet, however, or work a little extra to pay off some bills, the consequences are immediate. So I do what is needed to get by today, tomorrow, and next week because I have to.

Then suddenly, pictures of family trips, which always seem like they happened just yesterday, appear in my Facebook Memories, from four years ago (pictured above) and rather quickly, favorite moments become memories, as time quickly passes on.

This past week, as loneliness has crept in and the pressures of getting caught up on tasks and to-dos have weighed heavy, a call from an old friend has reminded me to find balance. To sit a little longer with my wife on a Saturday morning, sipping coffee. To read just one more book with my six-year-old rather than shooing him off to bed. To put off paying that bill just one more month because right now, I have a house full of kiddos and memories that need making.

But also, answer (or make) the call of an old friend, even when I have emails to write, and check in on each other because that too is life. And those we love are what we live life for.

So thank you, Friend, for making the time this morning. I know I needed it.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

For more on . . .

Friday Thoughts : Blog

Friday Thought : Engage in Idea conflict before they become People conflict

The other morning I was listening to an At the Table Podcast episode entitled, Artificial Harmony, and was deeply struck by the statement: “When we fail to have conflict around ideological issues - when we disagree on things - it eventually ferments into conflict around people, and that’s how we crush human beings.”

For instance. Imagine sitting in a room of fellow educators - teachers, admin, whomever - with the task of solving the problem of attendance. If someone (Jim, let’s him) throws out an idea that is perhaps bad or incomplete, and the group doesn’t acknowledge it as such because there they fear ideological conflict, they invite the more dangerous and destructive future conflict that will be centered around people.

Because no one challenged or questioned Jim’s idea but instead encouraged it with a, “Yeah, that might work,” even though everyone knows it won’t work, or at the very least has some questions about it, two things happen:

One, if the idea is never implemented because everyone outside of Jim knows it won’t work, suddenly Jim feels like his coworkers - his boss - don’t care about his opinions. “Why does Mr. Miller ask for my opinion anyway, he never hears it.” Because no one engaged in his idea, he now has a conflict with the PEOPLE he works with. And if we avoided engaging in Jim’s idea because it was considered uncomfortable, why would we engage in the people conflict? And the snowball of conflict and division gathers speed.

The other potential problem that could arise is that Mr. Miller and the staff actually do implement the idea, but because everyone was too concerned with avoiding the ideological conflict and therefore didn’t push in, ask questions, or refine the thinking, it doesn’t go great. Mistakes are made because of oversight, people are frustrated because of confusion, and suddenly - and rather naturally - people are to blame (either Jim, Mr. Miller, or both) and the conflict becomes a personal conflict rather than an easier more manageable ideological conflict.

I have seen this happen, over and over again. And if I am honest, it often occurs because I am too cautious about saving the group from the discomfort of ideological conflict or I’m too nervous that I won’t be able to navigate the staff safely through it. Both of which are fair concerns, neither of which is best for the culture of my school, my marriage! or my friendships.

Appropriate conflict is good and we need to have more of it. We also need to ensure that it is intentional conflict, safe, and beneficial. And to do that, we need to do our best to engage in conflicts about ideas rather than people.

Idea conflicts talk about the problem, the task at hand. They are constructive and help us grow and change and improve. They are uncomfortable but they are also more manageable and most often productive.

People conflicts are destructive. They are personal, deep, and often unfair because the task is no longer about solving the problem at hand, it’s about defending our pride, our pain, and the fear of being misunderstood.

Idea conflicts are external; people conflicts are internal. Idea conflicts solve problems; people conflicts create them.

And I need to be better at engaging in idea conflicts to help save and protect my staff (and myself) from having to survive people conflicts.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

For more on . . .

Friday Thoughts : Blog