A few days ago, when discussing options to a difficult situation, my boss asked, me, “What’s best for the student?”
With that simple question, she eliminated so much confusion and consternation, as well as all excuses. No longer were my feelings or wants part of the discussion, nor anyone else’s, just the needs of the student. And within a short while, we had a solution to our problem.
There are many motivators in life that inspire or encourage us in our decision making. The most common being rooted in selfish ambition and vain conceit - whatever makes life easiest, whatever makes us look or feel better, makes us popular or liked, and whatever allows for personal advancement. And the problem with these foundational motivators is not only that they produce comfort rather than growth, its that they are decisions that willingly sacrifice the needs and growth of others.
And we are all guilty of it. At least I know I am. Which is why I truly appreciate a boss who grounds me back to why we are here and do what we do: to love and support kids.
Its also why the above picture is so important because it is a powerful reminder to me, to us - educators, leaders, parents, adults - that we are here in our positions for the purpose of helping, guiding, and training those who need helping, guiding, and training.
We are here to help others.
Pictures of our kiddos hanging on the wall can help remind and reground us. So too can unexpected visits.
Inspired by the above picture and conversations with my boss, I have recently been inviting high school students to come back to our elementary and share a few of their favorite stories. “Whatever you remember,” I tell them, “be it funny, sad, or seemingly insignificant, just share a few of your favorite memories from elementary.”
One student shared about the time he and his friend (the son of one of my students) got in trouble for drawing the male anatomy in the snow during recess.
Another student shared about the time she was struggling and a teacher knelt down to her level, affirmed and encouraged her, then hugged her. Tears flooded her eyes as she expressed how important that moment was for her, then and now.
Others simply shared how teachers made them feel. How they loved their classes not because of the content but because of them, the teacher.
Like pictures on a wall, hearing the stories of our recently departed students has been a tangible reminder that in the midst of data discussions, state testing requirements, and exhausting weeks of hard conversations, there are students in our classrooms who need to be loved and supported. There are students who are showing up with heavy hearts, distracted minds, and empty bellies. There are students who are coming to our school who, that very day, will encounter a moment that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.
And that, more than anything else, should be enough to inspire us into hard conversations and purposeful solutions.
To paraphrase Andy Jacks in Discipline Win, Our legacy is defined by how we support our students. They are the reason why we are here and the WHY to our decisions, and it is therefore they who should be plastered on our walls and the forefront of our minds. Not ourselves.
“What’s best for the student?” my boss asked me. Recently, the answer has been to remind myself and my staff that at the heart of everything we say and do, it is our students who will suffer the consequences or reap the benefits of our decision making.
And that, for me at least, has been a much needed grounding and what has been on my mind lately.
Happy Friday!!!
#DOGREATTHINGS!!!
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