This is Elias. He is my youngest of four kiddos, which means at any given time he as up to five people telling him what to do. And out of all my children, he is the craziest. He is full of passion, life, and commitment. And when he is frustrated, when his older and stronger siblings and parents don't let him finish his thought, when we fail to understand his needs, or when we just simply don't have time for the irrational rationalizations of a four-year-old mind, sometimes his only outlet is to scream, to throw a fit, and slam a door.
Those types of reactions often incite his sibling and parents to also react, creating a downward and mixed spiral of less-than-productive emotions and actions.
The other night, as I overheard him and his oldest older sister get into it, I quickly made my way to them, my irritation rising (can I never finish a sentence with my wife!!!) and ready to intervene with barks and demands. Yet, when I got there, I suddenly felt the urge to respond differently - I remembered the October Double-Stretch!
Instead of reacting, I gave just a bit more. I reminded myself that he had had a long day at school and daycare, that being the youngest is hard, and that a four-year-old doesn't always behave rationally. I reminded myself that at the end of a long day, he's tired. I reminded myself that he is four, and that I am the adult.
So instead of snapping, I picked him up and held him, patting his back, and speaking smooth encouragements.
Almost instantly he stopped crying. He then spent the next five-ish minutes with his head resting on my shoulder (something he rarely does). I thought he fell asleep. But then, in the gentlest of voices, he raised his head and said, "I'm ready to make it right with Eden now." And he did.
This simple moment reminded me that we're all trying our best - even our kiddos! But sometimes, every one of us - even the best of us - just need a few extra minutes, an extra hug, or an extra helping of grace. Sometimes, we all just need a little extra. And that is okay.
Where can you “double stretch” today, this weekend, or in the final weeks of October? With a friend, a family member, your job, or yourself?
If you have a story or two that celebrates the October Two-Stretch, let me know! I'd love to hear it:)