Friday Thought : See My Children in What I do. Then, Do Better.

I do a thing with my staff called a “Skiddy Daddle” where I give them a 15-minute break from class and spend my time reading to their students.

This most recent time, my daughter was in the class and rather quickly I noticed something peculiar about my 15 minutes. I treated the class differently. All because my daughter was sitting in one of the seats.

Which reminded me of a similar story.

A few years ago I heard a story about a world-renowned speaker who stopped inviting her mother to her speaking engagements because whenever she saw her mother in attendance, she saw herself as a daughter, not a world-renowned speaker. She wasn’t doctor so-and-so, she was Emily the daughter of her mother, and it impacted the way she spoke, the way she carried herself, and presence she commanded on stage. She acted based on how she was viewed, not on who she was.

In much the same way, I did the same when reading to my daughter’s class. I acted as how my daughter saw me, not on who I was. How I viewed me.

And that realization was deeply convicting.

When I entered my daughter’s class, I didn’t want to disappoint her. I didn’t want her friends to think I was mean or boring or whatever. I wanted them - and her - to be entertained, inspired, and encouraged. So I raised the bar on almost everything. I was more fun, more relaxed, and more interactive. I was what I normally am at home. I was acting more like a father, and it made me a better person. It made me a better principal.

Later that evening, a fellow principal - Mr. Ty Moore - encouraged me in much the same way, “See yourself as a dad,” he said, “Not merely a principal.”

For most educational leaders, this isn’t anything new. Because it isn’t. Even for me! I just forget it, at times. And every now and then, I need a good reminder of how I can improve and where I can do better. And this week, the lesson of seeing my children in the eyes of every interaction has been deeply convicting.

When speaking to kiddos or walking down the hall, how would I treat my own children?

When discussing poor behavior or inappropriate choices - when enforcing discipline - how would I engage the situation if it were my child? How would I reconcile and restore?

When talking about students with staff members, how would I talk about my own children?

When considering a child’s future and potential, how would I encourage, believe, and hope in the potential if it were my child?

If at any point the answer is something like, “Not like that,” then I need to do better.

And when I fail, just like I do at home with my own children, I need to make it right. With the student, the staff member, or the school at large. I need to acknowledge where I blew it, make it right, then do what is right. I need to do better.

Especially when I remind myself that for many kiddos in my school, I am one of the only constant and reliable father-figures in their lives. Day in and day out.

No matter how tired, how frustrated, distracted, or insecure I may feel, there are kiddos who need the best of what I can offer. And if I can muster it up for my own kids, I can muster it up for them, too.

Day in and day out, I need to do better.

That’s what has been on my mind lately.

Happy Friday!

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Friday Thought : The Least of These

A slide from the same presentation by Dr. Andy Jacks (@_AndyJacks)

This, roughly, is a quote from this past weekend. "Your school should be judged by the way it treats the least of these."

It is often said that great teachers - great schools - make their decisions based upon their best students, teachers. And I fully stand by that. When we create lesson plans, when we consider the future of our school, it is the best students, the best teachers, that dictate what we will and won’t do, can and can’t do. We make decisions based on the top students and teachers, not the least common denominator.

And this is where the above quote convicted and challenged me this past week, because I desperately want my school to be considered the best, to lead the state and the nation in academics and excellence! Yet, ultimately, that is not how we will be judged, how we should be judged. If we have the highest GPA’s and ACT score but graduate jerks and kids who are not considerate of others, we have failed. And everyone will know it.

How we treat those kids who are at the bottom of the social ladder (be it academic, financial, popularity, whatever) is what defines us as a person, and us as a school. Do we spend extra time on some kids, and less on others? Do we send some parents emails and neglect others? Are we kinder, more patient with some kids and not with others?

If we’re honest, or at least if I am, the answer is yes. At least sometimes, anyway, and not because I like one kid more than another or because I think one has more value than another. But because, largely, the kids who have better home lives, more supportive parents, or more stable living conditions (generally) work harder, are more polite, and are better students. They’re easier to work with. Easier to spend time with. But they're also the ones that need us and our resources more.

“Are you spending as much time being concerned about and brainstorming ways to help a child’s behavior as you are a child’s reading or math scores?” This was another question posed, and I thought it a perfect distinction, or manifestation rather, of how we can love each child equally, yet differently, and according to their needs.

Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “Maslow before Bloom.” If not, it is simply implying that before we can work a child through the increasing stages of Bloom’s Taxonomy, we must first consider Maslow and the basic needs that each child must have in order to live. 

Just today, I saw this play out with a particular student who bombed a test. And I mean he BOMBED it. When he and it were brought to my attention, the student spent a good deal of time explaining the morning he had had the day of the test and how that difficulty, that upheaval of a morning affected his day and ability to work. We then spent a little bit of time discussing his emotions, his normal morning life, and how he could have handled those frustrations in the near future.  We spent time working through his Maslow needs: safety and love and belonging. And it only took about 10ish minutes.

Then, he retook the test and it was RADICALLY different. 

As teachers, as educators, we must always be pushing our students to achieve great things. We must never settle for mediocrity or ordinary - we aim towards and teach towards the best! But we also equally love on and support those who, for one reason or another, cannot achieve such great heights because their foundation of life - their basic needs - are absent or threatened. We reach and teach those kids, too.

We didn’t come to be teachers to serve and teach to the best of the best, but to change lives, to inspire lives worth living, and to improve the world around. Sometimes that means pushing the extremes of Bloom’s higher levels of Taxonomy. Other times, it is working through Maslow before attacking Bloom because that is what that kid needs, and because that is what we can provide. That’s why they call us teachers!

Although it is hard work, exhausting work, and at times extremely frustrating, it is the best work. 

It is a great time to be an Educator.