Friday Thought : Single Mothers Need Help, Too

I recently read a short articleAZsdf, “Do it for the Plot.” The article is about purpose. It states, 

"Whatever path we take, we are always confronted with the same question eventually:

Does my path (my life) make a good story? Does my narrative make sense? Is the narrative the one I hoped for, or at least, is it worth telling?

And if the answer is “no,” we are consumed by the regret, disappointment and bitterness of “the unlived life.” If the answer is “yes,” we can at least die knowing we gave it our best shot.

I don't know about you, but I am never content with the idea of leaving life unlived. I want to embrace my experiences, deeply learn from every engagement, and make a difference in the world around me. I want to do GREAT things! This also means I am often discontent. Mostly when I’m tasked with trudging through the mundane or seemingly insignificant tasks for they seem exactly that - mundane and insignificant.

Especially in the development and telling of my good story.

But then, this week, my wife was out of town and I was tasked with caring for our five children. Rather quickly, instead of a #DoGreatThings mindset, I was slowly reduced to a #SimplySurvive mindset. Especially after getting sick. Suddenly, I didn't care about living a good story or changing the world. I simply tried my best not to puke, forget a child somewhere, or lose my patience too quickly. 

And it convicted me. Single mothers need help, too.

We don't need to accomplish big and mighty things in order to have a compelling and purposeful life. We simply need to help. For although we may not tell the story of how we brought dinner to the single mother down the road or share with friends how we covered a shift for a coworker so they could run home and make dinner for their kids, that doesn't mean those stories aren't being shared, that they don't matter.

They may be boring and rather blah stories for us to tell, but for those we helped and served and provided a moment of reprieve for, those simple acts of service are the very moments, the very stories, that encourage and inspire them. They’re the stories that help keep them going. And they are their favorite stories to tell. 

They are also our favorite stories to hear.

Stories of service, when people step into moments of need and give a bit of their humanity remind us that it is the small and simple acts of kindness that move and change the world, not the grandiose. 

Helping the single mother won’t make the local news or circulate on social media. It doesn’t make a good story because it doesn’t change the world. But it can change hers and the little hearts she cares for. It can change their story.

And these moments are everywhere, all the time. But we miss them when we are consumed with our story. When, like the article asks us to, we are more concerned with the plot of our story than we are the characters in it.

For as Chis McCandless, the ultimate adventure-seeker and plot-builder discovered far too late,

happiness - life - things

are only real - only purposeful,

when shared.

Just like a good story.

That's what I've been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Reflect. Explore. Analyze. Try.

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Life Beneath Hats: A forced reflection of when we get to the end.

Over the past two weeks, I have been surrounded by the theme of reflection, and of purpose.

On Friday, my family lost an adoptive mother to cancer. She was a fantastic woman who loved this world with grace and elegance. Her passing, although devastating to many, has allowed us all the opportunity to consider her life, the purpose that guided her, and the impact she made. And when considered, it is thunderous. Beautiful. And eternal. It will live on long after her name is lost to this world.

In the midst of saying goodbye to our Momma D, I helped move an elderly couple from the apartment they've been living in for the past handful of years to their new Assisted Living Home. With almost every item, I had to ask, "Is this going to your new home or to storage?" I hated asking that question, almost as much as they hated answering it because although it was never said, we all knew that once it went into storage, it wouldn't be coming out. This was their last and forever move. 

While cleaning out the husband's room, I stumbled across two hats. One was from when he was stationed in Okinawa, the other from when he drove a bus for the school district, and I was literally stunned for a moment. I simply looked at them both and considered the years of memories they represented, the stories they held, and the lives they impacted. 

I then turned, went into the living room, shook the old man's hand (his name is Ed), and said thank you. He smiled and said, "You're welcome."

I don't know about you, but I can easily be consumed with the task or tasks ahead of me. Of paying off bills, running my kiddos to activities and ensuring that they are (mostly) fed, and checking my email. I get consumed with squashing behaviors, completing projects around the house, and responding to emails. I begin to care deeply about keeping up with the Joneses, completing the mile-long to-do list, and RESPONDING TO FREAKING EMAILS!!!

And for what? 

I know they are important and essential to doing my job and providing for my family, but they are NOT what I want talked about at my funeral (Yeah that Miller sure did respond to email within 24 hours!). They are my tasks, not my purpose. And sometimes I can forget that. 

As educators, we have the greatest profession in this world because we have direct contact and constant opportunities to LITERALLY impact and change lives. Whether our students know it or not, acknowledge it or not, or ever connect their future selves to now doesn't matter. Our time with these students and with each other deeply impacts the way we think, act, and react. It has lasting value. And that not only encourages me, it challenges me.

I have been given these kids for this moment, surrounded by this staff. I Belong Here. And I don't want to waste it or take it for granted. I want to embrace the hell out of it. From beginning to end.

Just like Ed. Just like Momma D.

That's what I've been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

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Friday Thought : A Far Greater Achievement

I recently stumbled across a fantastic blog entitled Gaping Void that is full of short, inspirational, and encouraging thoughts. 

This is a rewording from a section of their most recent post:

I’m pretty sure at the end of my life no one is going to wax lyrical about some staff meeting I ran or the class I taught in 2023. But, if I do my best to lead with values, purpose and principles, they just might say that I was a decent person. And to me, that’s a far greater achievement. (You can read more of the short post here).

Throughout this week, as I've wrestled with how to best and most reliably communicate with parents, tried to iron out kinks in the school's procedures, and continually dealt with student behavior, the conviction of HOW I do the things I do has continually come to mind.

I don't want to focus solely on checking off all the boxes on my to-do list, for although they are important, they don't change the world. They merely keep it moving. HOW I check those boxes has a much greater impact on the students, the staff, and the surrounding community. And I need to constantly be aware of that. Improve on that. 

That's what I've been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

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Friday Thought : Resume vs Eulogy Virtues

In his book, The Road to Character, David Brooks writes about the difference between Resume virtues and Eulogy virtues.

“Eulogy virtues,” he writes, "are the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being – whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.”

“Resume virtues,” on the other hand, are much shallower. “They are the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success."

When we pursue our resume virtues, we set out to conquer the world. When we hold tight to our eulogy virtues, we battle for opportunities to serve the world. 

And that got me thinking about educators and why we have chosen, and continue to choose, this beautiful profession.

Most educators came into this profession because, at some point, someone spoke into our lives. Because someone took time out of their day to spend time in ours, because they lived a life that inspired us to help, to serve, and to improve the lives of those around us. I bet you are here because someone chose to see beyond their resume virtues and chose to invest in their eulogy virtues.

People who, as David Brooks writes, “radiate a sort of moral joy.”

They answer softly when challenged harshly. They are silent when unfairly abused. They are dignified when others try to humiliate them, restrained when others try to provoke them. But they get things done. They perform acts of sacrificial service with the same modesty everyday spirit they would display if they were just getting the groceries. They are not thinking about what impressive work they are doing. They are not thinking about themselves at all. They just seem delighted by the flawed people around them. They just recognize what needs doing and they do it” (bolding and emphasis added).

Like many, I have ambition. I have dreams and ideas of how I would like my life and career to go, and I work hard to ensure that they will happen. I am constantly working on my resume.

This week, however, I was once again reminded that if I accomplish all that my little heart desires, if I gain all the accolades and can stand on a stage to great applause, it will mean nothing without a strong eulogy resume.

For in the end, that is what this profession - this life - is all about.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

For more on . . .

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