Friday Thought : Why We Thank Our Crossing Guards

A few days ago one of my teachers emailed me, asking if we could recognize our crossing guard because, “We have had him for several years” she wrote, “and he is so good with the kids and always waves at everyone.”

So today, we celebrated him (you can see the full video here).

And as Kevin entered the foyer, students and staff cheered, and a few tears began to role down his cheeks.

When asked, “Raise your hands if Mr Kevin has ever made you feel safe,” a sea of hands rose and waved in the air. Students and staff alike.

And when it was over, the hearts of all who were present were filled and encouraged.

Later that afternoon, I wrote my staff this email:

Thank you for taking the time to come and celebrate Kevin.

I don't know about you, but moments like these are powerful reminders of how important it is to reach out and acknowledge those who do GREAT things.

It's also a great learning opportunity for our kiddos! For them to see the POWER of gratitude and thankfulness is so important. Even at a young age, they have the ability to make a difference in someone's life.

Thank you for providing them this opportunity.

In a time where educators are exhausted and in need of encouragement, there is no greater gift than to celebrate another.

As you consider ways to encourage, support, and inspire your staff, instead of reaching for the checkbook, fancy food trays, or handwritten notes (all of which do matter and definitely help), consider sending a few emails, gathering a few gifts, and spending a few short minutes intentionally and personally celebrating the individuals around you who make a difference.

Receiving gifts is nice. Giving someone a memory they will never forget is even better. For them, and for ourselves.

Happy Friday!!!

#doGREATthings!!!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

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Friday Thoughts : The importance of Giving : Blog

Friday Thought : Dance Alone. Start a Movement.

It’s so easy to be discouraged because there are so many things that are discouraging.

Family and friends can discourage. So too can co-workers, bosses, and those we serve. Through false accusations, unmet expectations, or the myriad of other ways humans can let us down, we can easily and continuously be discouraged by those around us.

But we can also be inspired.

I’ve shared this video with students before, and when asked, “Why is the person filming this,” the response is something like, “To make fun of him.” And they’re right. Whoever is filming the Sasquatch Dancer doesn’t find him cool or awe inspiring.

But that is exactly what he becomes.

I don’t know how long the Sasquatch Man danced before the video started, but I speculate it was a decent while. Long enough, anyway, for the person with the phone to take notice and pull out their phone.

Whatever the time, after 16 seconds of video, he dances alone. Then finally, someone joins in.

And this is where it gets interesting.

Once the second dancer appears, a shift occurs. Suddenly, and ever so slightly, the audience - including you and me - connects with the two dancers. We are still laughing at them and are perhaps even a bit uncomfortable, but our hearts and minds move from judgement to a sort of strange support. Suddenly, Sasquatch Dancing Guy is no longer weird, he’s enduring. All because someone joined him.

Then, together, they dance. For almost another 20 seconds before someone else joins in. Then someone else . . . Then two more . . . Then a small crowed.

Then people begin to cheer.

After almost 90 seconds of dancing . . . the movement begins.

Then suddenly, like a mad rush of bison across a prairie, those who were once lounging and watching, recording and judging, are now running towards the Sasquatch Dancer, eager and excited to join in!

And they just keep coming . . . and coming . . . and coming!

I love this video and turn it on every so often, just to be inspired. My most recent watch, however, had me considering the impact of dancing and how our actions, both big and small, can start a movement. Three simple truths come to mind.

One: It’s Okay to Dance Alone.

When we dance with conviction, when we step out in faith and passion and do what we think is good and right and true, oftentimes, we might have to do it alone. Even worse, we might have to do it under watchful and judgmental eyes because stepping up and standing out draws the attention of others. Especially judgmental others. But if we hold true and stay steady to our beliefs and convictions - if we keep dancing amidst the snickers and side conversations - not only do we live a life of integrity, we open a door to the possibility of change. Because in order to start a movement we need people moving. And in order for people to move, someone needs to join.

Two: When You Join the Dance You Bring the Party.

The second dancer is crucial to the movement because he gives permission for others to join. He, more than Sasquatch Dancer, is similar to those sitting on the lawn because not so long ago he was one of them, sitting on the lawn, and not dancing! So when he joins, those nearby see themselves in him and begin to wonder . . . should we dance too? Can we?

And after a few more join, suddenly there is safety in numbers and the movement is underway. All because Sasquatch Dancer #2 was willing to join in..

This is the power of support. You don’t need to know exactly what to do or how to do it. You just need to show up and dance alongside the one who is leading the way. For although they may have started the movement, they need support. They need you to bring the party.

Three: Lose the Fame, Share the Frame.

Rather quickly, the Sasquatch Dancer is no longer visible because the crowd is just too big. And this moment, for me at least, is crucial because it is the manifestation of why we choose to dance: to inspire change.

In the end, maybe no one will remember our name, the things we did, or the fact that we were the first to dance. Maybe, when our time comes to an end, no one will applaud our work or pin a metal to our breast. Maybe no one will thank us for our service.

And if they don’t, does that mean we failed? Does that mean it was all a waste of time? Does that mean it wasn’t worth it?

I certainly hope not.

Do you think the Sasquatch Dancer is angered by this video and the fact that his name is never mentioned?

I doubt it.

For even though we all want to be acknowledge for the work we do and sacrifices we make, more importantly than that, we want our lives and actions to matter. We want to make a difference. And often times - and probably more times than not - in order to do so, we need to lose the fame and share the frame. Its about the party and the dance and those who run down the hill to join, not about who started it.

But first, someone needs to start it.

If you have an idea, a conviction, or an itch of a thought that you’ve been eager to get started, then brother or sister, put the phone away, get up off the lawn, and start dancing. People are eager to join movements that matter, they just need someone courageous enough to show them how.

Are you ready to start dancing?

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

P.S. Malcolm Gladwell has a similar discussion on Mob Mentality. You can watch it here.

Friday Thought : The "Drive-Through School Days." A time to dig in and cover ground.

“This is my favorite time of year,” one of my teachers recently told me, “because it’s when you really begin to see the growth and development of students, and that is so rewarding!”

Typically, the days between January through mid March are considered the doldrums of education. There are very few major holidays to celebrate which in turn means very few days off, parties, and “things to look forward to.” There’s just time.

Which, if embraced, can make it the most productive and most memorable time of the year! But only if we are intentional, like a good road trip, and take advantage of those “drive-through states.”

My family loves road trips. And each summer, on our way to some far-off destination, we have a stretch of time where very little is accomplished but wracking up the miles. We start early and drive late, stop as little as possible, crank up the music, and talk. We spend time together. And after years of this routine, with a bucket full of memories and destinations reached, what we think about and miss the most on any given day is the time spent in the car.

Our schools and classrooms should be no different.

As our students look towards the next destination of spring, spring break, and the coming summer, take advantage of these “drive-through school days” by digging in and covering ground. Of your content for sure, but also of your students, your staff.

On Instruction:

When it comes to instruction, embrace the long road ahead. Consistency builds routines, and with it comes the opportunity to push a little harder and go a little further. Like those long stretches of road without stop lights, rest stops, or distractions, where we can set the cruise to 75, 80, and at times even 85 (because there is nothing to brake for), so too can our attention to instruction be.

Once we’ve reestablished the expectations of our classrooms, we can up our game a bit, push a little harder, and travel a little further. We can cover ground! And I don’t know about you, but when I arrive at my destination several minutes before the GPS’s “estimated time of arrival,” I feel like I’ve won the Daytona 500. My kids do too because arriving early means an opportunity to explore the campground or jump in the lake. It means time to play.

Cannot our schools and classrooms do the same? Can we not take advantage of routines, amp up our cruise control, and cover ground?

Then, when we arrive at our destination early, can we not provide opportunities for our students - and ourselves - to explore? To play?

On Relationships:

On our road trips, the “drive-through states” also provide us a unique opportunity to be with our kids. The seating arrangement becomes a musical chairs of sorts, allowing various combinations of conversations and activities. Sometimes, thought, we sit in silence. At other times we blare music, with each kiddo and parent taking their turn choosing a song. At all times, however, we are together. And often times, it is these days, with nothing going on and no adventure to explore that we love and miss the most.

For our schools, our classrooms, these days are no different.

There’s a podcast I listen to called, The Second Question and it’s host, Martin Silverman, is a principal in Texas. He ends each episode by asking his guest who their most inspirational teacher was. And almost systematically, the answer will sound something like this: “I don’t remember anything they taught me, but what I do remember . . .” And then they will speak - in detail - about a moment where the teacher invested in them, took notice of them, and spoke into their lives. These moments, as far as I can tell, never occur during a Christmas concert or holiday party. They occur during normal and unnoteworthy days, where “nothing is going on.” Nothing except teachers showing up, being intentional about their time, and investing in their students.

These coming “drive-through school days” are the days you will see your students and staff most consistently, with minimal interruptions. Are you taking advantage of it? Are you showing up with intentionality and purpose?

Because how we spend these days determines how we arrive at our final destination.

We take pictures of monumental occasions, post them on our Instagram, and hang them on our walls. But it the journey, the unique moments and unplanned events and conversations along the way that we end up talking about around campfires and remembering most in the years that follow. It is the routine of showing up and being present, day-after-day, that connects us with those around us, that inspires change, and impacts lives. It is the journey, not the destination, that matters most.

How are you spending your time with your drive-through days?

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Friday Thought : Who's Your Sleeper?

We are more than who we are. Sometimes, however, it takes another person - a friend, a teacher, colleague, or even stranger - to help us understand that.

While in High School, my senior year English teacher Mr. Huber told me I was a “good writer,” even though I was about to graduate with a 1.4 GPA. I was a terrible student, but he saw something in me, spoke into it, and instantly changed the course of my life.

One of the greatest gifts we can give people is telling them what we see in them and why they matter.

No matter who we are or who they are.

When was the last time you sat someone down and told them how important they are? What you appreciate about them? Or a vision you have for them?

When was the last time someone did it to you? I bet you can remember those times, and can probably draw a line from that conversation to who you are today. I know I can.

So why are we not doing it more often? With our colleagues? Our friends and family? Our students?

As a father I spend a great deal of time correcting my children’s behaviors and attitudes and not enough time pouring into their hearts the things they do well, where I’m proud of them, and how much they mean to our family. And I need to do better.

As a friend I send a great deal of stupid texts and TikToks, ask a variety of questions, and laugh. What I rarely do is tell them how much they mean to me, how they inspire and encourage me, and why I need them in my life. I need to be better at that, too.

As a boss, I try to encourage as much as possible, but it tends to be generic and all-inclusive. “You’re doing a great job,” I say. Or, “Thank you for all you do!” But how often do I sit down and intentionally tell the individuals what they SPECIFICALLY do well, where I am thankful for, and where I see them contributing to our school, our community? The answer is, not often enough.

All throughout our day we have people we can encourage, inspire, and wake up. We have the power and opportunity to speak directly into people’s lives, encouraging them and guiding them to GREAT things. We just need to speak up.

Who can you encourage today? What SPECIFICLY can you say to them that will let them know what they mean to you and to those around them?

What hidden gem or talent have you noticed in someone that they have not noticed in themselves? And how can you tell them?

What vision can you cast for someone? Be it a coworker, student, friend, or neighbor?

In whatever role we currently play, we have been gifted the opportunity of influencing our community. Who has been put directly in YOUR path so that you can help change, inspire, or encourage theirs?

Happy Friday!

#doGREATthings!

Sidenote: The term sleeper comes from the podcast, At the Table and the episode, “Who is Your Sleeper?”

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Friday Thought : Making it Personal

“Don’t take it personal,” I found myself saying to multiple teachers this week, and I’ve been wrestling with it ever since.

The first time was with a teacher whom I had to intervene with and step on her toes a bit with a decision she didn’t particularly like. The other was with a teacher who was struggling with a student who was physically and verbally attacking her, “Why does he have to be so cruel?” she said through puddling tears. “Don’t take it personal,” I said to both of them and instantly regretting it because how could they not? As an educator, we pour our lives into this job. We sacrifice family, personal time and finances, we devote our hearts to the people we live with and serve. We give our whole person. How can it not be personal?

This past week, instead of saying or believe that we “shouldn’t take it personal,” I’ve begun to wonder if making it personal is exactly what we should be doing. When it isn’t personal, when its calculated, cold, and non-relational, that’s when bad things happen. That’s when we make decisions that are based solely on budgets rather than considering the people. When it isn’t personal we make decision based on numbers and forget about the people - the very thing we are here to help and serve!

With the first teacher, the one I offended by making a calculated decision, because she took it personal we had to have a heart-to-heart conversation. We had to GET personal. And for almost an hour, we talked out the situation, why it happened, how it could have been handled differently. Then we discussed how to move forward. We BOTH acknowledge our own humanity in the situation and sought to understand the others. We made it VERY personal, which allowed us to reconcile, to connect more sincerely, and to build trust. Because it was personal we dug deeper, cried more tears, and learned a great deal more about each other, our triggers and stressors, and about our person. Because it was personal we can now trust future decisions because we trust the person.

Making it personal allowed us to heal, and to grow.

It also allows room for empathy, as it did for the teacher with her abusive student.

Last week, this particular teacher was in my office several times because a kiddo that we’ve been working hard with was having a difficult week. He was constantly running out of the classroom, was vulgar and disrespectful, and had become increasingly violent with a few students, staff, and particularly this teacher. “When is enough, enough?” She asked, wiping tears from her face, “He’s literally beating the shit out of me.” And he was. But sending him home wasn’t an option. So we continued one, throwing darts of ideas at the wall, hoping at least one would stick.

Then, we had our Christmas concert.

We were nervous about how this young child would do, if he could handle the pressure and the audience, but we decided to try anyway with multiple staff nearby, ready to pounce if ever he needed our support. Which he did. Just not in the way we anticipated.

Throughout the concert, this little man stood on the stage, without moving and without singing, arms crossed, and pouting. Never once did he even mouth a single word to any song. Then, when it was over, when the parents gathered around to take pictures and wrap up their kids in hugs and kisses and praise, this little boy crumbled into his teachers arms and cried. “My parents didn’t come,” he said between sobs.

Later that day, that same teacher was in my office crying again. But not for herself. She was crying for this little child and asking over and over, “What can we do for him?” She could barely control her grief for this child.

After a while, we brainstormed many ideas, but mostly we talked about how she shouldn’t take it personal. “When he goes off, it isn’t about you. He’s reacting to something else.” But like the teacher above, the moment I said it, it felt wrong. Or at least incomplete.

Yes, don’t take it personal in that when someone is unkind or rude, often times, it isn’t about you at all, it’s about something bigger, something more personal to them. Behaviors are often times signs of communication - especially for kiddos - and we shouldn’t take them personal. But yet, we also should take it personal because than we can know best how to act, how to care for and love those in need because we understand what it means to hurt, to suffer, and to need grace and compassion. Taking personal means you can BE personal!

Seeing this young child as a complicated person allows his teacher - allows our school - to game plan ideas and solutions that are PERSONAL to him. Making it personal makes us more invested, more empathetic, and more patient.

On a day when TikTok is advocating “Shoot Up Your School Day,” Seeing the people behind our decisions and at the other end of our actions is exactly what we need in education right now. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. Because then we get to wrestle with the best and most important part of our jobs: the human being stuff.

Don’t take it person. Make it personal.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Friday Thought : Mystery and Constellation Thinking

For Advent, I’ve been reading, “God is in the Manger,” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. The focus of week two is Mystery. On day one, he wrote the following:

We destroy {mystery} because we sense that here we reach the boundary of our being, because we want to be lord over everything and have it at our disposal, and that’s just what we cannot do with mystery . . . . Living without mystery means knowing nothing of the mystery of our own life, nothing of the mystery of another person, nothing of the mystery of the world; it means passing over our own hidden qualities and those of others and the world.

As adults, we want control. Control of our budgets, our careers, our lives and our kid’s lives. As kids, we are much more prone to adaptivity. Just look at how we go hiking!

Whenever we take our kids on a hike, how often do we discourage our kiddos from wondering around the mountainside? “Stay on the path,” we say trying to keep them safe but discouraging their mystery of the natural forest. “The sign says to stay on the path,” we argue, eager to follow the rules lest we be judged by the many other path-beating hikers. We end up spending our time keeping our kids on the straight and narrow rather than on the mystery of nature.

We keep our eyes focused on a northern star because it provides us clarity, direction, and something with which to measure our progress. Seeing constellations, however, requires us to stop progress, to see a bigger picture, and to allow for ambiguity, for interpretation, and for messy lines and figures. It requires mystery.

I’ve often wondered who saw the constellations. Was it adults? Or was it kids who, while listening to the boring life lessons of their parents, stared into the night sky and drew pictures with the stars?

The story of Jesus has become so common to our western world that it no longer carries the mystery of constellations. It reads like a straight line. Largely because of how we tell it. Mostly because of how we live it.

The same applies to so many other components of life. From how we teach and discipline our students to how we love and interact with our families and friends. We have lost, many of us, the desire for mystery, to look around and see the bigger picture, and to enjoy the beauty of the unknown. Largely because we’re afraid. Mostly because we lack faith. In our God and in being god.

“Mystery does not mean not knowing something,” Bonhoeffer continued. It is knowing something deeply, personally, and intimately. And then, it is wanting to know more.

This podcast was highly inspiring and influential in this week’s thought: Thinking Differently with Mathew Barzun

Throughout the week, with Mystery and Constellation Thinking on my mind, this poem by Walt Whitman was continually on my mind.

When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer

When I heard the learn’d astronomer,
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,
When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,
When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,
Till rising and gliding out I wander’d off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

For more Friday Thoughts, click here.

Friday Thought : The Right thing to do

Recently, a teacher was struggling with a difficult decision. Help another, or help herself. Without much deliberation, she chose to help another.

"You okay?" I asked.

"No." She said, "But it's the right thing to do." And then, with a smile on her face, she accepted the burden that was not hers to bear and went about her day.

This short interaction encouraged the hell out of me. It also reminded me of a situation that happened a few weeks ago with two of my struggling students.

One student (let’s call him Shawn) spent an hour or so walking around my table, purposefully pumping into and kicking my chairs, and generally being pissed off. When he finally sat down, I tried talking with him. He wanted no part of it.

“You only get this way when something is bothering you,” I said. “So what happened?”

He said nothing.

“I heard you had a rough weekend,” I continued, “You wanna tell me about it?”

He started to speak, in half sentences, sharing about the weekend he had at a distant relative’s house. “She was so mean,” he said, speaking of his cousin, but he couldn’t really articulate why or how. He did, however, begin to get worked up again. Until another student joined us in my office.

When little Timmy (not his real name) entered the office, I wasn’t shocked. He was a cute little kid with little structure at home, zero discipline, and was routinely off his meds. He had been in and out of my office all morning, but this time, I didn’t have time for him.

Shawn, however, did.

“I need to go help in the cafeteria” I said. Which was true. We were down several aides that day and we needed extra hands and eyes on the kiddos as they ate their lunch. “Shawn,” I said, “I need you to watch over Timmy.” Which was not true. My secretary and the counselor were nearby and could easily have taken over. But I had a plan.

“Shawn,” I said again, grabbing some books, blank pieces of papers, and a few crayons, “I need you to read or draw with Timmy so I can go help in the cafeteria. Can you do that for me?” He didn’t really answer, just grunted, and moved towards the table. I left.

Over the next couple hours, I checked in on Shawn and Timmy but didn’t interrupt because they were doing great! Shawn even worked on his homework as he helped Timmy draw and color. You could hear their laughter throughout the whole office.

Then, after bringing Timmy back to his class, Shawn was finally ready to talk.

Shawn didn’t need to sit and focus on his needs, on how he was hurt and frustrated. Nor did he need me to remove tasks and responsibilities from his day. He needed to get outside himself, to consider another, and to get to work. He needed a bigger purpose.

When we’re only thinking about ourselves we only think about ourselves. But when we consider others, when we see beyond our pain and sorrow and frustrations we see that there are others who are in need. Helping them gives us purpose and a better more clearer perspective.

“No,” my teacher said, knowing full well what the extra work and stress was going to mean for her. But she also knew would it would mean for the one she was enduring it for. “It’s the right thing to do,” she said, truly joyful.

Because it was. Because it is.

Friday Thought : Right now, we are all rubber bands

In my most recent staff meeting I handed out a rubber band and asked people to get into groups of three. “Now stretch it out,” I said. And they did, but only to the point of resistance.

“How’s the rubber band?” I asked.

“Fine,” they said, because rubber bands are made to be flexible and to endure. Just like us.

“Now pull a little more,” I said. And they did. Not as much as the first, but still a good stretch.

“What about now?” I asked, “How’s the rubber band?”

“Fine,” they still said, but less assuradely.

“Now pull again.” And they did. “And again . . . and again, and again.” With each and again, they pulled a little less and worried a little more. One teacher even used her free hand to block her face.

“This is where we are,” I said, “We are made to endure, to be flexible, but with each new request, with each new demand, we stretch a little more and a little more and a little more. We are now living in a state of constant fear that we’re about to break.”

We can endure hard seasons. We can absorb change, be flexible, and stretch ourselves further than we thought imaginable. But not forever. Lest we break.

The problem is - for my staff in that meeting and for many of us in our daily lives - we don’t see an end in sight, largely because the problems and issues are far bigger than us, and we can’t do anything about it.

What we can do, however, is show grace. To ourselves, and to others.

Giving grace doesn’t mean we have a free pass to sacrifice our integrity or high standards of excellence - absolutely not! But it does mean that when we fail, we show grace - that we courteous and show goodwill.

You are trying your best. The woman next to you is trying her best as well. The man across from you is trying his best. The kiddos in your classrooms are showing up and trying their best, and your boss is trying her best. But we can only stretch so far. And for many of us, we are walking fearful that, with the next request or burden to bare, we will break.

We can’t solve most of the problems the people around us are asked to endure, but we can give them - and ourselves - some grace. Which, in the end, might be the only thing that holds us together.

Friday Thought : Evolving, not Revolving

Often times, themes present themselves in my life. When they do, they pop up, almost overwhelmingly, in a variety of ways: conversations and tv shows, books and podcasts, songs, and Saturday morning fires.

Most recently, the theme of growth has come to the forefront. Most notably, the concept of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is hard. Both in asking for it and receiving it because they both demand something from us. If we need forgiveness, we must admit we’ve done something wrong, giving up our ego, our pride, maybe even our stature (at least we think so, anyway). To provide forgiveness means giving up payment or revenge - we incur the debt owed, rather than enforcing it.

Forgiveness is also beautiful. It reconciles relationships and springs forth life and opportunity - it is the catalyst to evolving. As individuals and as a community.

"It’s easy to make a prison out of our pain, out of the past” Dr. Edith Eva Eger writes in The Choice: Embrace the Possible, because it allows us to hold onto our victimhood and be in control. Forgiving others who have caused the pain means letting go of our hope and desire for justice. It means letting go of our longings for revenge.

“At best,” Dr Eger continues, “Revenge is useless. It can’t alter what was done to us, it can’t erase the wrongs we’ve suffered, it can’t bring back the dead. At worst, revenge perpetuates the cycle of hate. It keeps the hate circling on and on. When we seek revenge, even nonviolent revenge, we are revolving not evolving.”

The only way to stop the revolving - in our lives as well as in the lives of those around us - is to forgive. Even when those who have hurt us don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. And that, for me at least, is one of the hardest things to do. If not impossible.

But that’s where the theme has hit me. Not on the importance of forgiveness necessarily, but on how to forgive, presenting itself in three truths:

1. Allow space to grieve. “For what happened, for what didn’t happen - and to give up the need for a different past. To accept life as it was and as it is” (Dr. Eger). This one is tough because grieving - to me at least - means thinking about what happened, reliving events, and letting “them” win. But it doesn’t. And they don’t. An essential part of forgiving is to acknowledge all that needs to be forgiven, that the burden of hurt and grief and anger is heavy, and that we are willing - even begrudgingly so - to lay it down at their feet. For then and only then are we able to truly begin the process of evolving.

1. Allow space for the bigger story : When someone does us wrong it is easy to define them only as that wrong. They are no longer a complex person with gifts and talents and a few fallibilities (just like us), they are cowards, betrayers, and terrible people. They are suddenly holistically and completely bad. Which makes it easy to hate them and wish sweet revenge. An essential component to forgiveness is allowing their failures to exist in isolation. In that moment they were flawed, or in that moment their weaknesses came through, or in that moment (or string of moments) their ugliness was on display. But they can still do good things. There are very few Hitler sort of people in this world, and allowing space for people in our lives to not be Hitler also provides space for them to be good people who do good things and, by and large, want to make the world a better place. They just really suck or fail miserably at times. But not all times. And seeing them in that way allows for the door to forgiveness to open. Even if just a crack.

2. Allow time for the wave to build. This image, from one of my favorite Instagram/bloggers says most of what needs to be said:

@semi_rad

We don’t need to holistically forgive in one moment. We don’t need to invite those who have hurt or scarred us over for dinner, plan a Christmas party together, or pretend that all is fine and dandy. Because it’s not. But it can be, someday. But only if we start with small acts.

Why not start today?

Friday Thought : Love. That's it.

@justinmcroberts

This might be one of the most encouraging posts I’ve written in a long time. For me at least. I hope it is for you, too.

The following passage has been increasingly on my mind and heart lately. And the more I read it, dwell on it, and try to live, the more encouraged - and convicted - I become.

Love is . . .

A modified version of 1 Corinthians 13:

If I am elegant in speech, sharing words as sweet as honey, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of foresight and can acutely analyze all things, if I have a belief and conviction that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and endure immeasurable hardships so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in destruction but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 

Convicting in that no program, gift, slogan, or initiative means anything if not driven by love.

Encouraging in that, no matter how many times an idea or an attempt to help others fails or is ill-received, if done in love, it is not wasted.

Lean on Me:

Then, this morning while greeting kiddos and jamming to The Rubberband Man Radio on Spotify (a GREAT playlist!), an old yet beautiful song played. Lean on Me, by Bill WIthers

Most Generous Thing:

About an hour later, a principal friend of mine shared this with me. It is no my new favorite question:

What’s the most generous thing you can do today?

Happy Friday!

Keep striving to do Great things and change the world! No matter what we do, if done with love and sincere compassion for others, it is never wrong. For as Allister Begg - an old favorite preacher - used to say, “It’s always right to do right, because it’s right.”

Do right. Do love.

Friday Thought : An October Double-Stretch Story

This is Elias. He is my youngest of four kiddos, which means at any given time he as up to five people telling him what to do. And out of all my children, he is the craziest. He is full of passion, life, and commitment. And when he is frustrated, when his older and stronger siblings and parents don't let him finish his thought, when we fail to understand his needs, or when we just simply don't have time for the irrational rationalizations of a four-year-old mind, sometimes his only outlet is to scream, to throw a fit, and slam a door.

Those types of reactions often incite his sibling and parents to also react, creating a downward and mixed spiral of less-than-productive emotions and actions.

The other night, as I overheard him and his oldest older sister get into it, I quickly made my way to them, my irritation rising (can I never finish a sentence with my wife!!!) and ready to intervene with barks and demands. Yet, when I got there, I suddenly felt the urge to respond differently - I remembered the October Double-Stretch!

Instead of reacting, I gave just a bit more. I reminded myself that he had had a long day at school and daycare, that being the youngest is hard, and that a four-year-old doesn't always behave rationally. I reminded myself that at the end of a long day, he's tired. I reminded myself that he is four, and that I am the adult.

So instead of snapping, I picked him up and held him, patting his back, and speaking smooth encouragements.

Almost instantly he stopped crying. He then spent the next five-ish minutes with his head resting on my shoulder (something he rarely does). I thought he fell asleep. But then, in the gentlest of voices, he raised his head and said, "I'm ready to make it right with Eden now." And he did.

This simple moment reminded me that we're all trying our best - even our kiddos! But sometimes, every one of us - even the best of us - just need a few extra minutes, an extra hug, or an extra helping of grace. Sometimes, we all just need a little extra. And that is okay.

Where can you “double stretch” today, this weekend, or in the final weeks of October? With a friend, a family member, your job, or yourself?

If you have a story or two that celebrates the October Two-Stretch, let me know! I'd love to hear it:)

Friday Thought : The October Double Stretch!

As an educator, we there is a routine to how the year goes.

August is a shedding of summer. Like a snake shedding its skin, we spend the first few days/weeks of school shedding off old habits and creating new ones.

September is paving the road. In preparation for the year, the journey ahead, we spend a great deal of time in September installing and ensuring norms and procedures for our kiddos. Learning is still happening, just as people can still travel during road construction, it just isn’t smooth yet because the road isn’t fully paved. Just like learning in the month of September.

November is kicked off by a Halloween celebration. Then, it seems, everyone is in a progressive shutdown mode for Christmas break. With the invasion of holidays and Christmas concerts, class parties and the like, there just never seems to be a full week of intense, all-out instruction,

Which is why we have October.

In the month of October, the road is finally paved and there are minimal interruptions. It is a perfect month for a Double Stretch.

At times, we need to put forth a little extra, reach slightly further, and endure a little more. Our bodies are used to this. Like when we need to reach for that jar of cookies or box of Mac and Cheese that is just out of reach, somehow, we reach a little further and grab it! We double stretch.

For the month of October, find ways to give just a little bit more. As an educator you already give a lot, but where can you stretch slightly further? We can’t always live like this, with our arms and minds and bodies stretched to its fullest, but we can every now and then. October is one of those “then’s.”

Where can you put forth a bit more in your lesson? In an activity that you’ve been thinking about doing? In a relationship with a student or staff? Where can you improve your own mind or heart by giving just a bit more this month? How can you improve someone else’s life by doing just a bit extra?

Where can you double stretch this month?

Friday Thought : The Strength of Transparency: What Clydesdales can teach us about fear and support

Yesterday, my oldest daughter Eden (she's eleven) was fortunate enough to help a friend of ours with his Clydesdales. Not only was she thrilled because she LOVES horses, but she was also shocked to learn how delicate these monsters are. "They're so scared," she said.

After prepping the giants for the coming carriage ride, the owner of the horses offered her the opportunity to drive them. Shortly into their journey he handed her the reigns, and a bit of advice. "Whenever you come across a bridge or approach a tractor, the horses get scared,” he said, “They need you to talk to them, to let them know you are here and that they are not alone." My little girl was dumbfounded. "Like this," he said. They were approaching a large fence and the horses were beginning to slow their walk. "I see that fence," he said in a soothing voice, "I know it's scary, I'm scared too, but well do this together, okay?" To Eden's amazement, the horses picked up their pace and continued on their way.

As she shared this story with me, I couldn't help but think of how often we are terrified to express our fears. We want to be perceived like a Clydesdales: strong, confident, and extremely competent. The vision of those old Budweiser commercials, of Clydesdales running through snow or pulling giant loads is awe inspiring and we want to be more like that. Not scared. Being frightened or needing the coaxing from a petite little eleven year-old doesn't quite fit our ideas of what it means to Do Great Things!

But maybe it should.

There is something encouraging - convicting even - about how a Clydesdale lives its life. It knows what it can do and has all the confidence in the world that it can accomplish whatever task is set before it. At some point, however, it also needs to know its fears, warranted or not, are acknowledged as real. Most importantly though, they need to know they are not alone.

Humans are much the same.

Not only do we need to be strong enough to admit we need help, that we're afraid, and that we can't do it alone, we need to be strong enough to know that admitting so isn't weak! It's brave. And it is completely okay.

We also need to be the kind of people that allow others to admit they need help or are afraid. And we do so by being strong enough to not fix their fears or concerns for them. When the moment of fear approached for the horses, their owner didn't hop off and take control of the cart and do their job for them. Nor did he show them that their fears we're unfounded, making them feel weak or foolish. He simply acknowledged their fears and reminded them that he was there. Then, they continued on. Together.

Take a lesson from the Clydesdales and share your concerns, your fears - invite them into your world - so you can continue carrying your heavy load and doing Great things, fully confident that you are not alone.

And neither are they.

Friday Thought : Leave it at the Door

This week, gratitude and generosity have been on my mind. Especially when times are hard or seem extremely bleak, it is hard to be grateful or full of generosity because, really, we’re just trying to survive, to put food on the table, and to not cry in front of the kids.

How do we move on from these moments of sadness? From these pits of despair?

I don’t know. But ensuring others don’t feel the same and trying to make them feel seen and heard and loved - even if just for a moment, sometimes seems to help. Not fully, not completely, but a little. It helps to know we’re helping.

This is what teachers do, almost daily. They give of themselves by leaving their shit at the door and loving the hell out of their students. They give, even when their marriages are a mess, their homes are in chaos, and their lives seems to be falling apart. Because that’s what quality teachers do. And as educational leaders, we must therefore work even harder to ensure that they are replenished, that they feel loved, appreciated, and known. We must fill them up.

Friday Thought : Words of our Leaders

In the past week, I’ve listened to the podcast, Learning to Love with Tim Shriver hosted by Simon Sinek twice. I’ve listened to it twice! I hardly ever listen to a podcast twice, much less in the same week, but this one was different. I needed it.

At one point in the episode, Simon references J.F.K. and his beautiful “Ask not what your country can do for you” speech and how important it was for our country then, and now. Wesley Shultz, the lead singer of the Lumineers also references the importance of that speech in his intro to the song, Charlie Boy and how it changed the trajectory of his uncle’s life.

This week, as schools and school boards are unraveling their back to school plans, as superintendents address their schools, and as principals meet with their staff, the idea that “the words of our leaders ready do matter” has hit closer to home. Especially during times of hardship.

Leaders set the tone. Their words bring meaning to the task at hand and are either stumbling blocks or life jackets. They can save lives, ruin lives, and inspire people to lay down their lives for others. They have immense power.

As a leader, we must choose our words wisely, with consequences and people in mind. Lives depend upon them.

Friday Thought : What Conor McGregor can teach us about teaching, about learning.

This week’s student assembly was on the topic of being brave rather than being fearless. We don't grow or learn anything about ourselves when we're fearless because there isn't a challenge. We do, or at least we can, however, grow immensely when we're brave. 

Recently, I've been reading and researching a lot on Connor McGregor, and my most recent readings have been pretty challenging - convicting even - and I thought they might challenge, encourage, and/or convict you as well.

Conor claims to be fearless but I think he is. I think he’s terrified of losing, of failing. But instead of finding excuses or giving up, he embraces that fear and uses it to drive him to greatness. He uses it to help him prepare for battle. His weapons of war, then, are his mindset, his work ethic, and his approach to his craft.

His mindset is simple: don't let fear of failure dictate your life. Embrace it, use it, and learn from it.

"People of courage and action can take wrong steps and make mistakes - sometimes serious ones. But in a lifetime they accomplish far more than the timid, negative individual . . ."

His work ethic is born from the belief that we are given nothing, that we deserve nothing, yet  anything is possible if we work - and work hard - for it.

"Our preparation is more important than our opportunities. Our preparation makes our opportunities." Therefore, "we should focus less on the benefits of the action and more on the momentum created by performing it regularly."

His approach to refining and growing his craft is not haphazard or mindless. It is extremely intentional, and as I read through it this morning, I thought of education (for obvious reasons), but also relationships, personal goals, and daily living. 

Purposeful Practice, McGregor believes, "is a process that makes refinements through repetition . . . and looks something like this:

Identify a weakness in your domain or expertise.

Form a clear mental picture of what it would look and feel like to gain the skill that would fill in that weakness.

Break the new skill down into its most basic components.

Find or design activities that target those components.

Perform those activities with intense focus.

Use various forms of feedback to refine and repeat steps 2 - 5 until each component can be reliably performed.

Carefully integrate each component until they feel natural and will not be forgotten.

- Conor McGregor: Singleness of Purpose

Teaching - living - is much the same. There is the day in and day out battles of not merely showing up, but of putting in the work with intense focus. There is the constant threat of defeat, the fear of losing, the reality of losing, and the daunting and forever task of beating back mediocrity and achieving greatness. And, like a seasoned MMA fighter, victory comes down to a choice. It comes down to a process. It comes down to a mindset.

Are you ready to rumble?

Friday Thought : Ownership

I've mentioned before that, at times, themes seem to present themselves. As of late, I've concluded that these themes are largely the making of my own subconscious, much like the experience you've had after buying a new car or truck. Soon after your purchase you realize, suddenly, all the other automobiles that look exactly like yours. That thing that has been there all along but never seen is suddenly visible. That thing suddenly matters because it now matters to you.

My perceived "themes", I believe, come and go in much the same way.Here is my most recent one: Ownership. And it has manifested itself in three quotes:

1. "Maybe life isn't about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it's about collecting the scars to prove you showed up for it." - Unknown

2. “In our schools and in our classrooms, every interaction matters . . . A single interaction can change a person’s life forever” (pg 30) Personal & Authentic: Designing Learning Experiences That Impact a Lifetime, by Thomas C. Murray

3. “We must own our actions. We must own our mindsets. We must own the opportunities that we take and those we pass on. We must own our roles in creating the cultures our kids need to thrive” (pg 30). Personal & Authentic: Designing Learning Experiences That Impact a Lifetime, by Thomas C. Murray

For me, these have been encouraging and inspiring. They are reminders to be radically intentional - with everything - to take on and absorb blame and responsibility for the things I've done wrong, but then and always to get up and try again because, as the old faithful saying goes, "Chicks dig scars." And so do our students.

Friday Thought : Success Begets Success

Our extra-curricular programs are killing it! Football, volleyball, SDD, wrestling, and now basketball, it doesn’t matter. We’re finding consistent success, and it isn’t all that surprising. I do think it is interesting, though.

We see this happen quite often, even at the professional or higher Ed levels. When one team finds success, the Patriots for example, it isn’t uncommon for other teams from the same city to find similar or equal success. 

This also happens in families. Take, for example, the Manning family. Archie Manning, the father, found success in football and played a few seasons in the NFL. He then had three sons, two of which won two Super Bowls. Is it because that family has just been blessed with an unidentifiable football gene? Maybe. But I’m guessing not. Rather, I would argue that success begets success. (Shaw, if I’m wrong on this, say nothing . . . I like my little theory;)

We for sure have a talented young group of kids who have supportive families, excellent coaches, and an encouraging school that backs and cares for them. But they are also experiencing success begetting success. 

That's inspiring to me, a reminder to me, and an affirmation to surround myself with "successful" (whatever that means) people. Be it in relationships, goals, work ethic, or mindset, people who get after it, who attack setbacks and maintain positive attitudes and healthy perspectives, those are the type of people I want to surround myself with, whom I want to listen to and hear from because their success can and will beget not only my success, but our success.

Because success begets success. 

Friday Thought : Happy Valentines Day!

Below are a few quotes I've been considering this week. They're from the book Personal and Authentic: Designing Learning Experiences that Impact a Lifetime, by Thomas C. Murray. I've recently finished it, so if you're interested, stop on in and I'd be glad to pass it along!

Success is a "fail-forward mindset, intertwined with perseverance and resilience during the difficult times, and humility in the best of times."

"It is your display of humility in the best of times and your fail-forward mindset and perseverance during the difficult times that will make those around you want to follow."

"Every time we fail is an opportunity to model how to get up and keep trying to those who look to us for direction."

"The educators who make the largest impact talk about and focus on opportunities. Less effective educators talk about and focus on obstacles."

Friday Thought : Why we Serve

Roxie, our secretary, received a phone call today from a lady in town, asking if we could send some students to her neighbor's house sometime today. There are branches left over from the past weekend’s storm and she is concerned that her elderly neighbor won't be able to pick them up. So she called us. 

And now, we are sending our 9th and 10th graders during 8th period today.

Think about what that means. Someone in our community saw a need, wanted to help, then stepped out and did so, by calling OUR SCHOOL!!! They felt the best place to call for help was us! How cool is that?!?!?

By our community, we are seen as a place that will help, that will use its resources (which is often just many hands), and will get things done!!! We are recognized by our service, which in turn, provides us more opportunities to serve!

And I just love that.