Friday Thought : Build Trust. Ask for help

I'm a huge Simon Sinek fan. And recently, I was affirmed, yet again, of why. 

"We don't build trust by offering help," which is what we - or at least I - tend to think. Instead, we "build trust by asking for {help}" (via).  This can seem contradictory because asking for help makes us feel incapable or incompetent.

And there's probably some truth to it. But it's an incomplete truth.

Think about the last time someone you know and love was in pain, suffering through a task, or carrying a burden too big for their shoulders, and they didn't ask you for help. They endured on their own, in silence, or even called someone else because they didn't want to bother you. How did that make you feel? 

I know I often feel frustrated and sad they didn't call. I also feel disconnected. "I guess we aren't as close as I thought we were," I think. And the wedge begins to dig in.

Think about our students. If they are struggling but don't ask for help, how often do we think/say, "Why didn't you ask for help?" Oftentimes, it's because they either feel too embarrassed (which we think is silly) or they don't trust us. Either way, asking for help is a sign of trust, as well as an invitation to earn it. 

In a school - a community - where we want to support one another, encourage and uplift each other, and build trust amongst each other, one of the best ways we can do that is by opening ourselves up, being vulnerable with our needs, and asking for help. By trusting others to handle scary or embarrassing situations with dignity and kindness.

As we head into the holiday season, as life for many of us continues to throw nasty punches, and as we all try to do our best on any given day, please PLEASE do not endure the burden of loneliness - do not consider yourself and your needs a burden on others. Rather, help us grow in trust with each other by asking for help! Not only will you receive it, but those who care and love you will also be blessed that you asked. 

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

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Which answer to prayer will I be?

My school is days away from greeting the new students and starting the new year. As the day draws closer and closer, as the entanglement of excitement and nervousness increases, so do the number of prayers offered by moms and dads, anxious students, and excited teachers. Be it around the dinner table, alone in the car, or in the darkness of night, when faced with the fears of the unknown, we reach out to a higher power. We ask for help, plead for safety, and call for strength. We know we are not enough and that we need help. So we pray.

Recently, I’ve been struck with how we, as educators, have the unique responsibility of being the answers to those prayers. And that is a very sobering thought.

What’s even more sobering a thought is that if I am not careful or intentional in my actions and reactions, I may not like the answer I have become.

This simple line from a simple movie is a powerful reminder of the power of intentionality. How I choose to interact with my students, staff, and parents will be the difference between which type of opportunity I become.

Am I going to be the opportunity - the answer to prayer - that helps them walk through their difficult times? Or will I be the opportunity that encourages them to grow?

As Morgan Freeman argues, if I have a teacher who is praying to grow in patience, kindness, and self-control, I can play the supporting role and encourage them through it. Or, I can be the obstacle that they need to work through. Either way, I am the answer to their prayer. I may not like which one I become.

I don’t know the deepest fears of the staff, the struggles my students face at home or school, nor the deeper frustrations parents have when they come in my office frustrated and angry. Nor do I need to.

What I do need to know is that I have been placed in this school for this time. I have been gifted the opportunity to protect these students, serve this staff, and support this community. I have been placed here for a purpose - I am an answer to the many prayers!

I also believe that if I am not intentional about keeping that choice at the forefront of my thoughts - my prayers - I will miss the opportunities to be the answer I want to be.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

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Friday Thought : Create Meaning in the Mundane

Meaning is in the Mundane.

My family loves road trips. And each summer, on our way to some far-off place, we have a stretch of time where very little is accomplished but racking up the miles. We start early and drive late, stop as little as possible, crank up the music, and talk. We spend time together. And after years of this routine, with a bucket full of memories and destinations reached, what we think about and miss the most on any given day is the time spent in the car.

Typically, the days between January through mid-March are considered the doldrums of education. There are very few major holidays to celebrate which in turn means very few days off, parties, and “things to look forward to.” There’s just time.

Which, if embraced, can make it the most productive and most memorable time of the year! But only if we are intentional, like a good road trip, and take advantage of those “drive-through states.”

Be intentional about building relationships with those one or two students who are always on the peripheral of your thoughts, who don't quite get the attention they deserve because they aren't a behavior kid . . . how can you spend time with them? See them? Get to know them?

Be intentional about BEING YOU! Over the next six-ish weeks, what can you bring to the classroom - our school - that is uniquely YOU? Most of the year we don't have time for silly moments or random FUN DAYS because we're too busy preparing for testing, concerts, or playing catchup . . . now, you have time, consistency, and a long road ahead . . . where can you inject something unexpected? Something new? Something YOU?

Be intentional about building memories. 

Road trips bring us to some pretty great and memorable destinations. But the pictures we love the most, the times we often remember and miss most often are NOT the final destinations, it's the journey - the what happens during the mundane. 

Take advantage of it and Create Meaning in the Mundane.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

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