trust

Friday Thought : Build Trust. Ask for help

I'm a huge Simon Sinek fan. And recently, I was affirmed, yet again, of why. 

"We don't build trust by offering help," which is what we - or at least I - tend to think. Instead, we "build trust by asking for {help}" (via).  This can seem contradictory because asking for help makes us feel incapable or incompetent.

And there's probably some truth to it. But it's an incomplete truth.

Think about the last time someone you know and love was in pain, suffering through a task, or carrying a burden too big for their shoulders, and they didn't ask you for help. They endured on their own, in silence, or even called someone else because they didn't want to bother you. How did that make you feel? 

I know I often feel frustrated and sad they didn't call. I also feel disconnected. "I guess we aren't as close as I thought we were," I think. And the wedge begins to dig in.

Think about our students. If they are struggling but don't ask for help, how often do we think/say, "Why didn't you ask for help?" Oftentimes, it's because they either feel too embarrassed (which we think is silly) or they don't trust us. Either way, asking for help is a sign of trust, as well as an invitation to earn it. 

In a school - a community - where we want to support one another, encourage and uplift each other, and build trust amongst each other, one of the best ways we can do that is by opening ourselves up, being vulnerable with our needs, and asking for help. By trusting others to handle scary or embarrassing situations with dignity and kindness.

As we head into the holiday season, as life for many of us continues to throw nasty punches, and as we all try to do our best on any given day, please PLEASE do not endure the burden of loneliness - do not consider yourself and your needs a burden on others. Rather, help us grow in trust with each other by asking for help! Not only will you receive it, but those who care and love you will also be blessed that you asked. 

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

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