This past Wednesday, I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with Brad Gustafson, an elementary principal in Minnesota and author of the newly published book, Overcoming Education: Complex Challenges, Difficult People, and the Art of Making a Difference. In our conversation, he kept referencing a mantra of his, "Who do you want to be?" At first, I blew it off because it sounded just like the millions of other mantras that gong loudly all over the internet world. The, "Rediscover your why," and "Be who you are meant to be" kind of stuff.
But it isn't. It's much different. And much better.
In education - and life in general - we experience countless moments that cause disruption and frustration, challenge our patience, and exhaust our kindness. Even now, as I try and confirm a reservation I made over three weeks ago, on the eve of departure, our reservation is in doubt. I'm beyond frustrated.
Who I want to be is not who I was on that phone call. And now, after the fire in my gut has dwindled, I feel awful about it.
It's easy to be kind and patient when dealing with kind and patient people. It's also easy to be nice when things are going my way. It's much more difficult, however, to exercise those qualities when people fail, systems collapse, or when Life simply sucks. In these moments, it is so easy to point fingers, sling accusations, or let rip my irritation. Because it makes me feel better (for a time) and gives me the allusion of control (which I don't have) and absolves me of wrongdoing (which it doesn't).
In reality, in these moments, who I want to be is the only thing I can control. And who I want to be is a kind, patient, respectful person who lives a life defined by integrity. I can't control the actions and perceptions of others, nor can I control or prevent the World from invading my plans. But I can control the kind of person I will be in the midst of it.
When an unfair accusation is made . . . Who do I want to be?
When my bosses challenge me on a decision or ask me to do something I don't like . . . Who do I want to be?
When Life shifts unwanted burdens on my shoulders . . . Who do I want to be?
The answer to those questions is what I will be accountable for. So that's where my focus should be. Even though I don't always like it.
Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about this week.
#doGREATthings!
Give. Reflect. Explore. Analyze. Try.
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