Well, I didn't see this coming . . .
A few days ago, my buddy sent me a podcast entitled, "The Year of Taylor Swift." I was incredibly hesitant to listen, but because I trusted him, I decided to give it a listen.
I am so thankful I did.
Even if you are not a Swifty, her story of struggle, success, transparency, and brilliance is deeply intriguing. It is her ability to connect with millions of devoted fans, however, that is most impressive. If not convicting.
Near the end of the episode, after the hosts walk us through her journey of success, betrayal, and redemption, they say this:
"Show somebody that they are real and you'll have them for life."
And I can't stop thinking about it.
When sitting with my oldest daughter and she is expressing her frustrations and concerns about life, basketball, and our parenting, more often than not, my first inclination is NOT to be patient. Nor are my first words always helpful. Which is why she gets frustrated, quiet, and sometimes distant.
Showing her that she and all of her middle school-sized emotions and fears are real is what brings her close, what opens her up to thoughts and input, because they are what make her feel loved, feel seen. It's what makes her feel real.
When a parent calls and accuses me of "targeting {their} child" or "doing nothing" about the bullying their daughter is experiencing, often I want to defend, explain, and provide the bigger picture. Every time, it doesn't work. Not if it is my initial reaction, anyway, or my sole objective. Because it only validates what they already believe: that I don't see them.
Allowing them to be frustrated, however, and affirming that what they are struggling with (even if I don't understand) provides them with what they need: an opportunity to be heard, to be real. And once that has been established, they are willing to accept a slightly different perspective of the situation. Because they trust us.
And when they trust us, we have them for life.
Dang. An episode about Taylor Swift . . . I did not see that coming.
That's what I've been thinking about this week.
#doGREATthings!
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