Accountability

Accountability

“What if” is a game I like to play with my staff.

“What if,” I ask them, “all our kids were 4.0 students who earned full-ride scholarships to the best schools in the state… yet graduated jerks? Would it be worth it?”

Of course not.

“What if,” I continue, “they graduated 4.0 students, earned full-ride scholarships and grew into quality men and women… but in order to make that happen, you had to work insane hours, lose your family and friends, and end up alone? Would you do it?”

Again, no.

After a few more scenarios just like that, the point becomes obvious: as educators, we need balance. We need boundaries. And we need accountability.

Accountability: It’s the Goal

“When the profit motive gets unmoored from the purpose motive, bad things happen,” Daniel Pink says from the TED stage. We create bad products, deliver lame services, and build uninspiring places to work.
In schools, when we drift from purpose, we sacrifice accountability.

In a world obsessed with numbers, accountability often gets pushed aside because it isn’t easily measured. But it can be. Just like we can’t see the wind but can measure its effects, we can measure the impact of accountability on a classroom, a staff, and a community.

When a school has a clear and sincere code of accountability—shared expectations, consistent follow-through, honest reflection—teachers feel safe, students exercise autonomy, and the community buys in. Unsurprisingly, test scores rise. And when they do, teachers are encouraged, students are inspired, and the community is more engaged.

But high test scores are not the goal and never should be.

First, if test scores are the goal, the bar is way too low. We can chase numbers and still end up with lousy teachers, disengaged students, and a toxic culture. If we want to be a respectable school, we need higher standards than high scores.

Second, test scores are shallow. Teachers didn’t accumulate debt, give up nights and weekends, and commit to a life of service just to help kids chase a number. They chose this profession to make a difference—to shape young men and women into quality older men and women. High test scores are worth celebrating, sure… but like the day after a Jay Gatsby party, the sparkle fades quickly. The fireworks end. And we’re left staring at a distant green light, wishing for something deeper. Something real.

As I tell my staff often:
We can teach students to never break the law and still have them grow into bad people.
Or we can teach them to be men and women of character and integrity… who then naturally choose lives that honor the law.

Test scores aren’t the goal. They’re just a checkpoint on the way to something bigger.

Accountability: How It Shows Up

We don’t just want to be schools doing great things; we want to be schools filled with great people doing great things. But that requires something essential: staff and students who feel safe, free, and part of something bigger than themselves.
Accountability provides that.

Accountability Creates Freedom

Believe it or not, boundaries create freedom.

Architects once studied how a fence affected children at play. On unfenced playgrounds, students huddled close to the teacher, unwilling to wander. But when a simple fence outlined the space, kids explored the entire playground—running, climbing, discovering—because they knew exactly where the boundaries were.

Accountability is the fence of a school.
When staff and students know what’s right, expected, and non-negotiable, they are free to teach, learn, act, and make decisions within those boundaries.

Accountability Provides Safety

Even if we rarely need it, knowing a structure exists matters.
It steadies the room.
It steadies the adults.
It steadies the kids.

Accountability Protects Us From Ourselves

Our desire to succeed—to be the best school, the best teacher, the best boss—can drift if we’re not grounded. Accountability keeps our motives tethered to our purpose.

Accountability Still Requires Kindness

Clear expectations and kind hearts are not opposites.
They’re partners.
One shapes the path; the other softens the journey.

Accountability is the boundary that allows our motivation to flourish.
It protects us.
It frees us.
It forms the foundation of a healthy classroom, a healthy school, and a healthy community.

Accountability is what allows us to do great things—
and inspires others to follow.

Doing Dangerous Things Carefully : How to Engage in Safe yet Meaningful Conversations

“If your gonna make your kids tough, which they better be if they’re gonna survive in the world, you can’t interfere when they’re doing dangerous things carefully.”
- Jordan Peterson

This advice has been on the forefront of my thoughts recently, but not necessarily because of the way the statement was intended. Where my mind has gravitated towards is how this statement plays out in the context of leadership. More specifically, how we as leaders engage in conversations with those we lead.

As leaders, if we do not encourage those we lead to engage in potentially dangerous conversations, not only will we not survive our position, our schools, churches, and companies will crumble because we won’t learn anything. And if we aren’t learning, we aren’t growing.

Below are five ways we can improve ourselves and those we lead by carefully engaging in dangerous conversations:

1. Keep it Secret. Keep it Safe: If those we lead know that our conversation isn’t secret, isn’t safe, if they know that we will share information with others, then for them, the conversation is dangerous. As a leader, no matter what is shared with us, be it work related or not, whatever we hear must be kept safe from the ears of others. Once the secret is out, we are no longer trusted. And if we aren’t trusted, we aren’t safe. And once word gets out that we aren’t safe, we no longer have an ear to our schools or community, losing all opportunity to impact others and make change. The talking will continue, just not with us for it will often be about us. And that is a dangerous place to be.
   

   Helpful Phrase: “It’s not my story to tell.” This allows you the ability to acknowledge that you know about the situation but are unable to share, instilling trust in those around you that when you have important information you keep secret, you keep it safe.
   

2. Don’t take it Personal. Make it Personal: When someone shares dangerous information, often times it is dangerous for them, not us. It might be hurtful or hard to hear - especially if what is being said is a critique on who we are and how we lead - but we are still the one who can do something about it. If we take the information personal, we discourage people from sharing hard information with us because they don’t want to hurt our feelings or make us upset. Nor do they want to jeopardize their job or position. If we make it personal, however, we acknowledge our role and our responsibility. We accept what is being said and commit to doing something about it. And when we do that, we create a safe environment that encourages further conversation and builds a culture of trust. When we take it personal we get defensive. When we make it personal we take action.
   
   Helpful Phrase: “I can do better.” Because we can. No matter the complaint or charge against us, as the leader, we are ultimately responsible. We may not have the answer - yet - but making the situation personal and taking ownership is as good a place as any to start. For us, and for those we lead.
   

3. Circle Back: This is most important. Making people feel heard is important, too. So is keeping their information secret and safe. But circling back, revisiting a conversation or acting on information heard is crucial to creating a safe place because it is the manifestation that you are indeed listening to them, and that we truly do care. When someone shares information with us, often times they are doing so because they trust that we are going to circle back around and do something about it. As a leader, we may not always be able to solve the problems of our staff - largely because they are bigger than who we are and our position - but we can always, always, circle back and check in on our staff, but only if we truly care about them. Just like we would turn the car around for our wallet or favorite pair of sunglasses, circling back to our staff establishes importance. It shows that we not only care enough to think about them, but that they are important enough to spend our precious time circling back.
   
   Helpful Phase: “I’ve been thinking about you.” It’s simple, but it’s also effective. Largely because we only think about the things we care about. Writing a card, sending a text, bringing coffee - or whatever - lets people know they are important enough for us to think about. “I’ve been thinking about you” means I haven’t forgotten about you. Which is huge. Because nobody wants to be forgotten.
   

4. Protect Your Culture. Establish Boundaries: As leaders, it is important for us to be vulnerable because it makes us personable and relatable. But only if we have established boundaries. As Brene Brown explains, vulnerability without boundaries can be dangerous because it is manipulating. When leaders share their struggles, their hurts and frustrations they build connections with their staff. Which is great! When done without boundaries, however, vulnerability becomes dangerous. When a leader shares too much or too often about their struggles, their shortcomings, or their doldrums about the profession (be it the kids, parents, or even their own bosses), two things will occur. One, it will set s standard that complaining and negativity is not only acceptable, it’s the default. The second reaction will be that those you lead will begin to lose faith in your ability to lead. Being human is perfectly acceptable. Being incompetent is not - even if that’s how we feel. As a leader, you carry immense power over the culture of your school. Protect your culture with strong boundaries, not open gates.
   

   Helpful Phrase: “We got this!” As a leader, it is imperative that we continually push our cultures and ourselves towards improvement. Being ignorant or ignoring issues is dangerous. So too is wallowing in them. Accepting them, however, as challenges to overcome not only encourages a positive culture, it unifies a culture. When we say to our staff, our students, “We got this,” we are admitting that there is an issue (establishing trust in our judgement), but we build and establish confidence that we will overcome - that we are capable! Which not only inspires hope, it encourages confidence. In their leader and in themselves.

5. Look past the words. See the story: “In order to think,” Jordan Peterson says, “you have to risk being offensive.” This is oftentimes difficult because it is the words that sting, that resonate, and that stay with us. But beyond the words is a story, and as a leader it is our job to get beyond the spoken words and dig deeper into what is actually happening. Are they afraid? Scared? Or hurt? Because if so, their words might be aggressive, defensive, or accusatory. Which is what makes true and meaningful conversations so dangerous. We can get so focused on the surface of the conversation that we neglect to see what is actually happening. But as a leader, that is our job. To look past the words and see the story. Because it’s not about us, its about them. And they need to know that.

   Helpful Phrase: “Say more.” As leaders, often times our first instinct is to speak up, to provide advice, share a story, or provide explanation. We want to solve the problem or defend our position. But just as often, when those we lead share their hearts, they’re not looking for a solution or an explanation. They just want to be heard. “Say more,” allows them that opportunity while also providing us space. Space from the specific words and therfore distance from the emotions they are invoking. And when we get distance, we get perspective. We see the story. Which, in the end, is really what it’s all about.

Engaging in conversation, in true and meaningful dialogue where ideas are expressed, where personal stories are told, and our hearts and minds and fears and dreams are laid bare, is a very dangerous thing. Done carefully, however, it can change a culture and a community. It can encourage, inspire, and truly save lives. But only if we’re willing to sit, listen, and get beyond ourselves. Which for many - myself included - is often a very difficult thing to do.

But that doesn’t mean we stop trying. Because as leaders, we’re not allowed to; as humans, we can’t afford to. Doing dangerous things carefully by engaging in safe and meaningful conversations is our job, our calling, and our responsibility. So let’s get after it!

We got this.

Where the People are.

If you're in a corner, or in a box, it's not because somebody put you there, it's because you've agreed to be in that box.

I stay outside. Because that's where the people are.

When I first watched this, I thought of my classroom and getting out in the hallways to be with the kids as they pass and walk by. Because even though I want to stay in my room, out in the hall is where the people are. And they want high fives, waves, fist bumps, and sometimes even hugs.

Then, while getting a Fat Tire from the frig, I thought of other boxes, bigger boxes, and more restrictive boxes. Boxes of religion, family, and politics. 

But mainly religion.

Maybe yours is something else.

Whatever it is, we've both agreed to be in that box. Isolated, Insulated. And safe. 

Because stepping out is entering into the unknown, and to where the people are. People who think different, look different, act different, and are different. Like kids in the hallways.

In the hallways, I lose much of my control and influence. I'm no longer the centerpiece but an outside observer. In the hallways, kids curse, make out, swap cigarettes, and fight, and I stand on the sideline, unable to do much of anything but correct what I can and say hello to those who pass. 

Sometimes though, kids want a high five, fist bump, or short conversation.

And somehow, when it happens, in the hallway, on their turf, it seems a bit more genuine because truly, they don't have to say a damn thing. They can walk by, cursing under their breath (which some do, no doubt) or ignore me completely. But they don't - not all of them anyway. They wave, smile, and sometimes stand with me and talk. And I love it because, often times, I learn things about them that the classroom can't teach. 

Like the student whose father was just arrested for dealing meth. Or the one who's having surgery on Thanksgiving day because she might have breast cancer. 

Sometimes though, they don't say a thing. They just high five, fist pump, or nod. And when it comes from the kid that I get on every single day to do some work, to turn something in and stop dropping F-bombs in my class, well, that too means a lot to me. 

And after watching this short clip, I began to wonder what would happen if I stepped out of other boxes, engaged and mingled with other people, different people, and started talking and listening and learning from them? Where would that take me? Take us? 

Probably to where the people are.

Which is just where I want to be.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  #eattogether :  Humanity  :  A Heineken commercial that inspires more than a drink

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