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NINE things a woman couldn’t do in 1971, or later!
“The following list is of NINE things a woman couldn’t do in 1971” Robyn, aka sunsong23 writes “a woman could not:
Get a Credit Card in her own name – it wasn’t until 1974 that a law forced credit card companies to issue cards to women without their husband’s signature (via).
Be guaranteed that they wouldn’t be unceremoniously fired for the offense of getting pregnant – that changed with the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of *1978*. Despite the act, pregnancy discrimination is still a major issue in woman’s sports (via).
Fight on the front lines – admitted into military academies in 1976 it wasn’t until 2013 that the military ban on women in combat was lifted (via).
Serve on a jury - It varied by state (Utah deemed women fit for jury duty way back in 1879), but the main reason women were kept out of jury pools was that they were considered the center of the home, which was their primary responsibility as caregivers. They were also thought to be too fragile to hear the grisly details of crimes and too sympathetic by nature to be able to remain objective about those accused of offenses. In 1961, the Supreme Court unanimously upheld a Florida law that exempted women from serving on juries. It wasn't until 1973 that women could serve on juries in all 50 states (via).
Get an Ivy League education - Yale and Princeton didn't accept female students until 1969. Harvard didn't admit women until 1977 (when it merged with the all-female Radcliffe College). Brown (which merged with women's college Pembroke), Dartmouth and Columbia did not offer admission to women until 1971, 1972 and 1981, respectively (via).
Take legal action against workplace sexual harassment. Indeed the first time a court recognized office sexual harassment as grounds for any legal action was in 1977 (via).
Decide not to have sex if their husband wanted to – spousal rape wasn’t criminalized in all 50 states until 1993 (via).
Until a 1972 Supreme Court case, unmarried women in some states were prohibited from purchasing birth control pills (via).
Sheesh.
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9/6/19 : Friday's Thoughtful Thought
I don't know if you experience themes in you daily life, I know I do. Often actually. Almost weekly, an idea or truth or topic will somehow align itself perfectly and continually show up randomly throughout my days. Sometimes the themes are large and heavy, like the concepts of justice and humanity. Other times its something simple, like the importance of Hamlet being performed in prison. Other times it is something dark, like the role hate plays in our lives and surrounding society. My favorite "week of themes", though, was the one when Russia continually invaded my space and I was then fortunate enough to learn how three Russian men, at different times, prevented all out war against the US, saving thousands of lives.
This week was another one of those weeks, with the theme being, "You are the sum of the five people you hang out with most." It started with an email from my boss, Mr. Thompson, and ended with an early morning conversation with a fellow colleague, Mr. Truax, when he shared how most all of his teaching accolades can be traced back to his early years and the mentors he surrounded himself with. Between the two bookends, this theme continually crept into my thoughts through podcasts (Your Weird, by The Minimalists), my current morning reading (The Art of Gathering: How we Meet and Why it Matters, by Priya Parker), conversations with my son about whom he chooses to hang out with, conversations with some of staff about whom they decide to hang out with, and a conversation with my big sister about whom we decide to "let into her arena" (a phrase from Brene Brown and her brilliant Netflix special, A Call to Courage).
I appreciate the concept that we are the sum of the five people we hang out with most, largely because it’s true! Think of students and how the groups they cluster with are greater than the any of the present individuals, how it encourages kids to act and think in ways they may never do on their own (negative and positive). Think about the people we go to when we're tired or scared or hurt and how the advice they give, and the direction they point us toward greatly impacts the kind of people we are and will become. We are, most often, the sum of the five people we hang out with most.
But it isn't just the people that impact us. It's also the stories we surround ourselves with. News stories, the novels and non-fiction we choose to read, the movies and TV programs we binge or watch on a nightly basis, the podcasts we listen to, and the music that entertains us. These also play a crucial role in the summing up of who we are, how we interpret life and the world around, and how we choose to interact with that life and the world around.
This notion, this truth, that we are the sum of what we CHOOSE to surround ourselves with is deeply comforting to me because it means that although we are greatly susceptible to our surroundings, we are also in complete control. WE CAN CHOSE WHO WE LISTEN TO AND THE STORIES WE SURROUND OURSELVES WITH!!!
Who or what kind of stories are you surrounded by? Do they encourage you to sit in the stink and muck of the situation? Or do they sniff once and then move on and toward a solution? Do they feed frustration or hope? Are they healthy? Or are they toxic?
Because we are not water, simply following the path of least resistance, completely characterized by our immediate surroundings. We are human - we’re alive! - and therefore have a choice on how to respond, how to think, and how to ensure we are healthy by purposefully surrounding ourselves with people and ideas and stories that, as Kim Chambers says, "normalize greatness."
Who are your five that make up the sum of who you are? And perhaps more importantly, what are they - and you - making?
The answer to these questions has been on my heart and mind a lot this week.
May we all work and play and live like Calvin. And then inspires others to do the same.
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8/30/19 : Friday's Thoughtful Thought
We moved into our new home almost three months ago, and for almost three months I have been putting off two simple tasks: fixing the back door to the house and fixing the bottom shelf in my closet. This last weekend I finally got to them both, and it took me less than 5 minutes to complete the task. Seriously. What was strange, though, was that it wasn't until after they were fixed that I realized just how annoying they truly were. Even now, when I walked near the back door or into my closet, there is a noticeable missing of anxiety that I wasn't even aware was there. With their broken presence gone, I truly do feel a lot better!
I don't know about you, but I tend to do this often. I ignore a simple task that nags at me everyday for little reason other than I just don't want to do it, or because I have other "more pressing things to do." But in reality, taking a literal 5-10 minutes out of my day to fix whatever it is that needs fixing truly relieves me of unneeded anxiety or annoyance, providing more space and patience to deal with the bigger, more pressing things.
Do you have something like this? Have you already noticed a broken or misunderstood teaching procedure? A squeaky or jammed drawer? The grumblings of a possible disruptive student or behavior? Or is there something else either in your classroom or home that, every time you see it, use it, or think about it brings even the slightest discomfort ? If so, make time this weekend to fix it, now, before the year gets into it's groove, and relieve yourself of the little yet constant annoyance that will surely pester you for the rest of the year.
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Islandia : unparalleled beauty
Islandia — is a Latin name for Iceland and relative to the old language since this film portraits primordial and rough nature of Iceland. For the short duration of the film, you will be transported to a place that easily could be a million years ago. From unbelievable landscapes and vast valleys to painting-like terrain and majestic waterfalls and lakes - this film shows the unparalleled beauty of Iceland and its unearthly glory (via)
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When: the Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, by Daniel Pink
“We simply don’t take issues of when as seriously as we take questions of what” (pg. 92).
“mental keeness, as shown by rationally evaluating evidence, was greater early in the day. And mental squishiness, as evidenced by resorting to stereotypes, increased as the day wore on” (pg 21).
The most unproductive moment of the day is 2:55 (pg 55).
Breaks:
“hourly five-minute walking breaks boosted energy levels, sharpened focus, and “improved mood throughout the day and reduced feelings of fatigue in the late afternoon. These ‘microbursts of activity,’ as researchers call them, were also more effective than a single thirty-minute walking break - so much so that the researchers suggest that organizations ‘introduce physical active breaks during the workday routine.’ Regular short walking breaks in the workplace also increase motivation and concentration and enhance creativity” (pg 61) . . . So if you’re looking for the Platonic ideal of a restorative break, the perfect combination of scarf, hat, and gloves to insulate yourself from the cold breath of the afternoon, consider a short walk outside with a friend during which you discuss something other than work” (pg 63).
Lunch:
The most powerful lunch breaks have two key ingredients - autonomy and detachment. Autonomy - exercising some control over what you do, how you do it, when you do it, and whom you do it with - is critical for high performance, especially on complex tasks. But it’s equally crucial when we take breaks from complex tasks. ‘The extent to which employees can determine how they utilize their lunch breaks may be just as important as what employees do during their lunch’” (pg 65).
Adolescents who get less sleep than they need are at higher risk for depression, suicide, substance abuse, and car crashes . . . ‘Evidence also links short sleep duration with obesity and a weakened immune system’” (pg. 90).
Landmarkers:
“Temporal landmarks interrupt attention to day-to-day minutiae, causing people to take a big picture view of their lives and thus focus on achieving their goals . . . The implications of the fresh start effect, like the forces that propel it, are also personal and social. Individuals who get off to a stumbling start - at a new job, on an important project, or in trying to improve their health - can alter their course by using a temporal landmark to start again. People can strategically create turning points in their personal histories” (pg 96).
Midpoints:
This made me think of FedEx days that Mr. Pink talks about in Drive. “Groups didn’t march toward their goals at a steady, even pace. Instead, they spent considerable time accomplishing almost nothing - until they experienced a surge of activity that always came at the temporal midpoint of a project” (pg 126).
Endings:
“People are willing to override a relatively long period of one kind of behavior with a relatively short period of another just because it occurred at the end of one’s life. This ‘end of life bias’ suggests that we believe people’s true selves are revealed at the end” (pg 155).
“Every Pixar movie has its protagonist achieving the goal he wants only to realize it is not what the protagonist needs. Typically, this leads the protagonist to let go of what he wants (a house, the Piston Cup, Andy) to get what he needs (a true yet unlikely companion; real friends; a lifetime together with friends)” (pg 163).
“The best endings don’t leave us happy. Instead, they produce something richer - a rush of unexpected insight, a fleeting moment of transcendence, the possibility that by discarding what we wanted we’ve gotten what we need” (pg 164).
Synching Fast and Slow:
“Groups must synchronize on three levels - to the boss, to the tribe, and to the heart” (pg 181) . . . after individuals synch to the boss, the external standard that sets the pace of their work, they must sync to the tribe - to one another. That requires a deep sense of belonging” (pg 189) . . . which “boosts job satisfaction and perfomance” (pg 191).
Thinking in Tenses:
Nostalgia is a “bittersweet but predominantly positive and fundamentally social emotion. Thinking in the past tense offers a window into the intrinsic self, a portal to who we really are. It makes the present meaningful” (pg 214).
Grade: A+
On the Better Leaders Better Schools podcast, Daniel Pink claims that out of all his works, this book is the most influential on his day-to-day life. I would have to agree.
For more on . . .
Why we write notes
Just found this in my daughters room. Beautiful. It also reminded me of the power of the written word. Teachers, administration, PEOPLE! write encouraging notes!!! The price you pay for a few minutes of your time is nothing compared to the joy and encouragement provided.
Gladwell owes Atticus an apology : An Open Letter to Mr. Gladwell
Dear Mr. Gladwell,
Sir, you are one of my favorite minds of the 21st century - or any century for that matter - and I have used your words and ideas in countless conversations, student assemblies, and writings. You have inspired and encouraged my thoughts and actions beyond quantifiable measure. However, you have also challenged the character of Atticus Finch. And for that Mr. Gladwell, I think you owe Atticus Finch an apology.
So do my 10th grade class.
After reading How to Kill a Mockingbird to my 10th graders, Mr. Gladwell, we listened to your podcast, Stave vs Johnson. It’s a great podcast, and not because of its content, but because of, well . . . yes, because of its content. What I mean is this. The story of Tom Robinson is abhorrent and terrifying and absolutely shameful, I think it obvious that you would agree on that. So too would anyone who reads TKAMB. But from my experience, what often times happens is that once the dull pages of the tattered and worn out book are closed resting comfortably on the shelf, so too does the story of Tom Robinson, Atticus Finch, and the rest of the TKAMB characters.
Then comes your podcast and the story of Nathanial Johnson, a black man accused of raping a white woman, and suddenly those fictional characters and places and hard discussions are in our current lives and colorful living rooms. Suddenly, they cannot be easily closed or quickly forgotten because they are disturbingly real. My students were appropriately shocked and horrified with this discovery and we had some deep and truly meaningful conversations around it.
But then, Mr. Gladwell, you make a critical assertion, that Atticus may not be a racist but he is indeed a sexist, and my students were once again appropriately shocked and horrified. Me too. But because I trust and respect you, Mr. Gladwell, and because it only made sense for my students to practice their critical thinking and analytical skills, we decided to hear your accusation and put Atticus Finch on the stand. “Is he a sexist?” I ask, “Or does Mr. Gladwell owe him an apology?”
Mr. Gladwell, you did not fair well.
Here’s why.
#1: He has Integrity
When asked by Scout why he was defending Tom Robinson, even though there was “high talk around town to the effect that he shouldn’t”, Atticus responds with, “. . . if I didn’t I couldn’t hold up my head in town, I couldn’t represent this county in the legislature, I couldn’t even tell you or Jem not to do something again” because his word, his character, and his moral ground would be compromised. For his kids to grow up to be the type of men and women he wanted them to be, he had to be the type of person he expected them to be, even when - especially when - it was hard.
What we say and believe about ourselves from the comfort of our living room chair or the safety of our internet lives does not reveal our true selves. How we treat those who cannot defend themselves or provide us any gain does.
#2: He is Honesty
“What’s a whore-lady?” Scout asks her Uncle Jack.
In response, Uncle Jack “plunged into another long tale about an old Prime Minister who sat in the House of Commons and blew feathers in the air and tried to keep them there when all about him men were losing their heads. He was trying to answer the question, Scout believes, “but he made no sense whatsoever.”
Later, while sitting with Atticus in the living room, Uncle Jack admits that he didn’t answer Scout directly.
“Jack!” Atticus responded, “When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness’ sake. But don’t make a production of it. Children are children, but they can spot an evasion quicker than adults, and evasion simply muddles ‘em.”
No matter how difficult the situation or the answer, Atticus always tries answers his kids as honestly and straightforward as he can. Which is why they keep coming to him for answers, because they trust that he will tell them the honest answer. Even if it isn’t pretty.
#3: He is courageous
In chapter 11, Jem has to read to Mrs. Dubose for ruining her flowers. It isn’t until the end of the chapter that Scout and Jem discover why them reading to her was so important. Mrs. Dubose was addicted to pain-killers. She was also ready to die, but before she did, she made sure she was able to “leave this world beholden to nothing and nobody.” Jem’s reading was her way of weaning herself off the painkillers. couragous
“You know,” Atticus says to Jem, “she was a great lady.”
“A great lady?” Jem raised his head. His face was scarlet. “After all those things she said about you, a lady?”
“She was. She had her own views about things, a lot different from mine, maybe” but still a lady. “I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand.” Courage isn’t carrying around borrowed power, “It’s when you now you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.” You rarely win, but sometimes you do. Mrs. Dubose won, all ninety-eight pounds of her . . . She was the bravest person I ever knew.”
#4: He is reliable
“There are men in this world who were born to do our unpleasant jobs. is one of them,” Ms. Maudie argues to Jem.
“I always thought Maycomb folks were the best folks in the world, least that’s what they seemed like,” Jem responds, knowing full well his father is a great man but suffering under the weight of disappointment.
“We’re the safest folks in the world,” Ms. Maudie responds, “We’re so rarely called on to be Christians, but when we are, we’ve got men like Atticus to go for us.”
This, said by a woman. Wouldn’t she, more than Gladwell, know if Atticus was a sexist? And if he was, could she really say such a thing about him?
#5 : He is sacrificial
Bob Ewell is beginning to make threats against Atticus and the family, and Jem and Scout are scared. Atticus isn’t. Not because the Bob isn’t a scary dude who can do bad things, but because Atticus isn’t thinking about his danger or what might happen to him. He’s considering someone else. And that someone else, for now, is safe. Because of Atticus.
“What’s bothering you son?” Atticus asks Jem, shortly after Mr. Ewell took the stand.
“Mr. Ewell.” Jem replies.
“What has happened"?” Atticus asks.
“Nothing has happened. We’re scared for you and we think you oughta do something about him.”
Atticus smiles wryly, “Do what? Put him under a peace bond?”
“When a man says he’s gonna get you, looks like he means it.”
“He meant it when he said it,” says Atticus. “Jem, see if you can stand in Bob Ewell’s shoes a minute. I destroyed his last shred of credibility at that trial, if he had any to begin with. The man had to have some kind of comeback, his kind always does. So if spitting in my face and threatening me saved Mayella Ewell one extra beating, that’s something I’ll gladly take. He had to take it out on somebody and I’d rather it be me than that houseful of children out there. You understand?”
Jem nods.
This might be my favorite story of Atticus. Good God that’s good!
#6: He is Just
“The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into the jury box. As you grow older, you’ll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don’t forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash.”
Atticus was speaking so quietly his las word crashed on our ears. I looked up, and his face was vehement. “There’s nothing more sickening to me than a low-grade white man who’ll take advantage of a Negro’s ignorance.”
I believe he would say the same for anyone taking advantage of a woman too because the greater and deeper truth Atticus is explaining is that he has no tolerance or respect for anyone who abuses his or her power. Preying on the poor is what cowards do.
#7: He is Reliable
“I can’t say I approve of everything he does, Maudie, but he’s my brother, and I just want to know when this will ever end.” Her voice rose: “It tears him to pieces. He doesn’t show it much, but it tears him to pieces. I’ve seen him when - what else do they want from him, Maudie, what else?”
“What does who want, Alexandra?” Miss Maudie asked.
“I mean the town. They’re perfectly willin to let him do what they’re too afraid to do themselves - it might lose ‘em a nickel. They’re perfectly willing to let him wreck his health doing what they’re afraid to do, they’re -”
“Have you ever thought of it this way, Alexandra? Whether Maycomb knows it or not, we’re paying the highest tribute we can pay a man. We trust him to do right. It’s that simple” (pg 236).
It truly is, just that simple.
Mr. Gladwell, I have the deepest respect and awe for you and what you do and how you think. I love your books, podcasts, and mind. But on this, and perhaps this alone, I strongly disagree and I think you owe him an apology.
Mankind and Mammal Dynasties
If I taught history, or perhaps Shakespeare or something similar, I think this would be a great comparison piece.
Are we, the human, race much different?
Kim Swims: A Documentary
I came across Kim’s story while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Wild Ideas Worth Living. The specific episode, FACING FEAR WITH KIM CHAMBERS has become one of my favorites. “If you want to do something that changes your life,” Kim states, “surround yourself with people who believe in you . . . normalize greatness.”
The documentary isn’t my favorite, but her story is. She’s pretty awesome.
Kim’s WILD journey
Kim Chambers was 30 years old, an athlete and a powerful executive, when she slipped and fell down a set of stairs. The injuries she sustained changed the course of her life. Not only did she prove doctors wrong about being able to be an athlete again, but she became one of the most accomplished marathon swimmers in the world, after never swimming competitively in her life before the injury.
In 2014, she became the sixth person (and third woman) to complete the Oceans Seven, which is the marathon swimming equivalent of climbing the Seven Summits, with each swim chosen for its treacherous conditions. Then, in 2015, Kim set a new world record when she became the first woman to swim thirty miles from the Farallon Islands to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, a swim that’s incredibly dangerous. It’s full of strong currents, extremely cold water temperatures, big waves, and a large population of great white sharks. But Kim didn’t let fear stop her.
Today, the accomplished swimmer uses her platform to inspire women (and men) of all ages to appreciate their bodies and to pursue their dreams even if they seem unrealistic. While she continues to set new records and battle more challenges herself, she remains a master at teaching people to face fear, even to say yes to it, and push through to achieve their goals (via).
For more on . . .
The Memory Book
My grandfather didn’t leave me any journals, but he did leave me tools, and I cannot thank him enough.
I love these short videos - for a myriad of reasons. But what draws me to them the most is the idea of simple acts that carry with them great and lasting consequences. How we can live on beyond our days when we create or make something beautiful.
For more on . . .
-N- Stuff : Open Thoughts : On Parenting : My Dead Dad’s Porno Tapes
Favorite Podcasts : April/May
Been traveling and in and out a lot, but for the months of April and May, there are my favorites.
: TED Radio Hour :
Jumpstarting Creativity, TED Radio Hour
Our greatest breakthroughs and triumphs have one thing in common: creativity. But how do you ignite it? And how do you rekindle it? This hour, TED speakers explore ideas on jumpstarting creativity. Guests include economist Tim Harford, producer Helen Marriage, artificial intelligence researcher Steve Engels, and behavioral scientist Marily Oppezzo.
Changing the World, TED Radio Hour
What does it take to change the world for the better? This hour, TED speakers explore ideas on activism—what motivates it, why it matters, and how each of us can make a difference. Guests include civil rights activist Ruby Sales, labor leader and civil rights activist Dolores Huerta, author Jeremy Heimans, "craftivist" Sarah Corbett, and designer and futurist Angela Oguntala.
How Generational Stereotypes Hold Us Back to at Work, by TED Talks Daily
The Silent Generation, baby boomers, Generation X, millennials, Gen Z -- we're all in the workforce together. How are our assumptions about each other holding us back from working and communicating better? Social psychologist Leah Georges shows how we're more similar than different and offers helpful tactics for navigating the multigenerational workplace.
: On Being :
What Matters In the End, On Being
“What does a good day look like?” That question — when asked of both terminally-ill and healthy people — has transformed Atul Gawande’s practice of medicine. A citizen physician and writer, Gawande is on the frontiers of human agency and meaning in light of what modern medicine makes possible. For the millions of people who have read his book Being Mortal, he’s also opened new conversations about the ancient human question of death and what it might have to do with life.
Sylvia Boorstein says spirituality doesn’t have to look like sitting down and meditating. A Jewish-Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist, Boorstein says spirituality can be as simple as “folding the towels in a sweet way and talking kindly to the people in [your] family even though you’ve had a long day.” And she insists that nurturing our inner lives in this way is not a luxury but something we can do in the service of others — from our children to strangers in the checkout line at the grocery store.
: Work Life :
The Perils of Following your Career Passion, by Work Life with Adam Grant
"Do what you love" is often terrible advice. Instead of taking the job that will make you happiest, look for the one where you'll learn the most.
After years of studying the dynamics of success and productivity in the workplace, Adam Grant discovered a powerful and often overlooked motivator: helping others.
When Strength Becomes Weakness, by Work Life with Adam Grant
Excellence comes from doing what you do best -- but you need to make sure you're doing it at the right times.
: Fresh Air :
Finding God in the Faith of Others, Fresh Air
Barbara Brown Taylor, an ordained Episcopal priest, left her job as rector of a church to become a professor of religion. Her new book, 'Holy Envy,' is about how teaching the religions of the world changed her understanding of her own faith, and how her students, who were mostly Christian, responded when she took them to mosques, synagogues, and Buddhist and Hindu temples. "I hoped it would be a way to convince them that they could find things they liked about other traditions, and it would not make them disloyal to their own," Taylor says. "And it worked most of the time."
: This American Life :
Unconditional Love, This American Life
Can love be taught? A family uses a controversial therapy to train their son to love them. And other stories about the hard and sometimes painful work of loving other people.
Petty Tyrant, This American Life
In Schenectady, New York, a school maintenance man named Steve Raucci works his way up the ranks for 30 years, until finally he's in charge of the maintenance department. That's when he starts messing with his employees. Teasing them at meetings. Punishing them with crummy work assignments. Or worse things, like secretly slashing their tires in the middle of the night.
: Criminal :
It’s one thing to get into an argument with a stranger on Facebook. It’s another thing to try to ruin that stranger’s life. In 2015, Re/Max realtor Monika Glennon discovered how far a stranger would go, when she found herself on a website called “She’s a Homewrecker.”
: Wild Ideas Worth Living :
Facing Fear with Kim Chambers, Wild Ideas Worth Living
Kim Chambers was 30 years old, an athlete and a powerful executive, when she slipped and fell down a set of stairs. The injuries she sustained changed the course of her life. Not only did she prove doctors wrong about being able to be an athlete again, but she became one of the most accomplished marathon swimmers in the world, after never swimming competitively in her life before the injury.
: Heavyweight :
16 years ago, Gimlet Media CEO and founder Alex Blumberg made a promise that he didn’t keep. And it’s been eating at him ever since. In this season finale, Jonathan sets out to clean up his boss’s mess.
Enjoy the day, and happy listening.
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Out again : Harvest 2019
I will be off here again for a bit. Working harvest, not writing.
be well!
Ryan Gosling's cereal could make you cry
In 2013, Ryan McHenry created the video series entitled Ryan Gosling Won't Eat His Cereal. It was met with much acclaim, catching the attention of Entertainment Online, Huffington Post, even Gosling himself who acknowledged McHenry in a tweet, writing, “I actually love cereal” (via) even though his movie appearances prove otherwise.
Then, in “late 2013, McHenry started experiencing a painful lump in his leg.” He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma and discovered that it had spread to his lungs. “He announced the news on his Twitter page”, writing,
"I got told yesterday that I have cancer. I would just like to let you all know I'm staying positive and I'm going to fight it. Fuck Cancer." (via)
Sadly, it didn’t work.
“After initial signs that McHenry had beaten cancer . . . {it} returned,” and on May 2, 2015 McHenry’s body succumbed to the deadly disease (via).
But not before one last comedic stand.
Two days before his death McHenry tweeted:
“Yesterday was my 10,000th day alive on this Earth and not one of you got me a card or anything..."
On May 5, Ryan Gosling posted this:
For more on . . .
Get out more
Gonna be off this site for a good while as we hit up a few National Parks in Utah, Nevada, and Colorado.
Side note, check out this podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/american-history-tellers/id1313596069
We’re all diggin season 2 on the history of National Parks.
Hope all is well!!! Be back soon sometime later in the summer.
Game of Thrones Orchestra
Although similar, they are extremely intentional and I LOVED hearing this explanation from the writer of music, Ramin Djawadi
“The beauty about music in film is that without any dialogue on the screen you are able to guide the audience . . . By moods or even playing a certain theme, you are able to tell a story.”
For more on . . .
-N- Stuff : Movies Without Soundtracks : Music : Game of Thrones
"Natural Born Heroes" : Top Three Quotes
“Empathy, the Greeks believed, was a source of strength, not softness; the more you recognized yourself in others and connected with their distress, the more endurance, wisdom, cunning, and determination you could tap into” (pg 29).
“On Crete, a grown-up is known as a dromeus, or “runner.” To be considered a full Cretan, you had to be strong enough and resourceful enough to run to someone’s aid. Until then, young Cretans are just apodromos - “not quite a runner” - and the ritual passage into adulthood was celebrated with the festival of Dromaia - “the Running” (pg 48).
“Because being a god on earth is a natural human desire, and saving someone else is the closest we’ll ever come to achieving it” (pg 205).
For more Mr. McDougall quotes, click here.
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-N- Stuff : Books : Reading Log : Inspiration
Some are less and some are more : An update, of sorts.
It seems about once a year or so I go through a phase of questioning my writing and the purpose of this blog. This past phase was a bit longer than normal, but also a bit more clarifying. That is, once I was asked to clarify why I was backing off, “Because I’m trying to be more healthy.”
“That’s pretty ambiguous,” my friend said, shaking his head, “explain.”
So I did. It went something like this:
Two maybe, but never three:
For the past several years, I’ve been working hard on writing more consistently. “One post a day,” I promised myself. Even if it was simple and short, I had to write/publish something on my blog or work on a chapter for my book.
Then we moved (again), I started Grad classes, kids entered sports, and then, and then, and then. Somewhere in there was my marriage, social life, and gaining a few extra unneeded pounds. My life was busy and certainly productive, but it was not healthy.
So I gave up writing for a while.
“But that was really good for you,” my friend reminded me. And he was right, it is. Writing is not only therapeutic, it’s clarifying and inspiring and something I truly love. But so is my marriage, my kids, and the many other things that take up time and demand thought.
Then, my wife posted this:
Do you know the good years when you’re right in them, or do you only recognize them after your future is the past, and it’s all come and gone?
I took a small break like I always do this time of year because it is work, heart-life-work, this bittersweet pursuit to hold on to time just so. If I get too distracted, if there is just too many things and I hold it too loosely, life slips through my fingers and falls to regret. But if there is a desperate clenched grip, it squeezes through anyways. Grip too tight? Not tight enough? These are the days, the good days.
It is finally Spring, which means lamb kisses in barns and sports are over. It also means road trip camping season has nearly begun.
I’m terrified. Terrified of wasting time, of missing out on opportunities, and of one day looking back with regret. But more than anything, I’m terrified my kids will grow up without great memories of their father. If they one day, many years from now, described me as hard working, loyal, and a man of character, I would be happy. But also a bit disappointed because, as much as those qualities mean to me, I also want my kids to one day look back at the life their dad lived and say, “He inspired me to live.”
Which is why, recently, I ran The Spartan Race with my son.
If you follow me on social media, you’re probably tired of this photo. But I’m not. This photo, to me, is a reminder to get out more, to try new things, to push boundaries, and to endure. It’s a reminder to prove I’m alive, to myself for sure but even more so for my kids who are watching, day in and day out. “Prove you’re alive!”, I tell them, but they don’t always listen. Because they’re kids. But when I live it, when I put the phone down, the computer away, and the books back on the shelf, when I take a weekend (with the support of my loving wife) and break out of the norm and and run a race with my oldest son, they see it, they experience it, and they want to live it too.
“Can I do it next year?” my two daughters asked.
“You bet,” I said, “And I’ll do it again with you.”
“Me too,” Judah yelled from the backseat, “And next year, I’m gonna beat my time.”
Me too.
I may not be writing as much lately, which, if I’m honest, is frustrating and sad. But because I’m writing less lately, I have more time for other things, for life things, and for the moments that are fleeting quickly. And I don’t think I’ll ever regret that.
So that’s one reason why I haven’t been writing as much lately. It’s also why I haven’t listened to or posted about podcasts either.
Because . . .
Podcasts are cool and all, but sometimes . . .
I listen to a lot of podcasts. Most of the time it’s because I enjoy them and often find inspiration from them. Sometimes, though, it’s because I like being the guy who listens to a lot of podcasts. So when the other day, while heading out for a morning run, my podcasts wouldn’t play, I was super annoyed. I even considered not running at all because, how boring would that be, running in silence? But the Spartan run was nearing and I knew I needed the training, so I headed out anyway. Soon after, I started thinking.
The night before, I didn’t sleep well because I had this thing with one of my students earlier in the day and it was bothering me. A lot. We’d been going around this misunderstanding for some time and that morning it had came to a head. We argued, yelled even, and refused to see the situation from each other’s perspectives. By the end of the conversation, he walked off and I threatened suspension. It wasn’t great and I wasn’t proud, but I was pissed. At him, myself, and the situation. It felt like all my work with him and his fellow classmates was suddenly lost because I handled the situation poorly and because I didn’t know how to fix it.
“Hard choices are often hard because they impact other people’s lives in meaningful ways,” Steven Johnson writes in Farsighted: How We Make the Decisions that Matter Most, “and so our ability to imagine that impact - to think through the emotional and material consequences from someone else’s perspective - turns out to be an essential talent” (pg 122). But because I was constantly distracted by work and kids and podcasts, I was unable to think or consider my student’s side of the story. Only mine. Until I ran without a podcast. Then and only then, I had time to think.
“When we are left to our own mental devices,” Johnson continues, “the mind drifts into a state where it swirls together memories and projections, mulls problems, and concocts strategies for the future” (pg 79). It solves problems. But only when it has time to do so. Listening to podcasts every chance I had never allowed my mind to sit and rest, to mull problems, or concoct strategies. It was always busy.
Just like my students.
Recently, after watching and talking and listening to staff and students around my school, we’ve made a few changes for next year: no cell phones during class time and block scheduling. When asked by a few students, parents, and board members, “What is the genesis of these changes?” I answered with, “Because life for our students is too busy, too distracted. We want them to slow down, to dig deeper into their classes and content, and to be more cognizant of their thoughts, emotions, and surroundings.” (Okay, I didn’t say it exactly like that, but more or less the message was the same). The morning my podcast didn’t work and I had to run in silence, I was convicted of this for myself as well because, for me at least, I can get a bit snooty about kids (and adults) playing video games or wasting time watching television. “They’re a waste of time, a distraction,” I find myself thinking and often times saying.
Yet, how often do I allow myself - my brain - to sit in silence and think, consider, and drift? How often do I play with memories and projections, mull problems, and concoct strategies for the future?
In the same way I want my students to slow down, to rid themselves of distractions and to wrestle with the intricacies and complexities of life, I must be willing and able to do the same. Podcasts, although better then gaming, can still be a distraction that quickly pulls me across the surface of thoughts and ideas, preventing me the opportunity to stop, sink, and struggle.
So that’s why, along with writing, I haven’t listened to as many podcasts lately.
But also, I don’t have time. Or perhaps energy is a better way to say it because of course I have time - we all do, if we really want something. We just need to make time for it. But energy? Yeah, I’m pretty low on that.
Here’s why.
For the Eulogy, not my Resume:
I’ve written a few times about the difference between eulogy virtues and resume virtues. It comes from David Brooks and his book, Road to Character, and it is something I think about quite often.
Resume virtues, Brooks explains, “are the {virtues} you list on your resume, the skills you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success.” Eulogy virtues, on the other hand, are the virtues that people talk about at your funeral, “the ones that exist at the core of your being - whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.” They describe how you used your resume.
Recently, this concept has challenged me more so than ever because, for various reasons, I have been presented with the possibility of pursuing a doctorate, and for many reasons my answer would have been and very easily could have been “no.” But then my wife got involved in the decision making process and her simple reasoning stuck, “because it will open doors”, which, on the surface is pretty common and not all that groundbreaking. Because that’s what resumes do. They open doors. But my wife didn’t end there.
“Because it will open doors, which will potentially allow you greater opportunities to serve.” And she’s right! Not only will furthering my education (ideally) allow me to better serve my here-and-now local community, it will provide me the opportunity to help others too, if the moment or opportunity should arise.
Or, as Chef José Ramón Andrés Puerta would say, “an opportunity” to help.
José Ramón Andrés Puerta is “a Spanish-American chef often credited with bringing the small plates dining concept to America. He owns restaurants in Washington, D.C., Los Angeles, Las Vegas, South Beach, Florida; Frisco, Texas; Mexico City, and Dorado, Puerto Rico” (via). He is also credited with dreaming up and creating World Central Kitchen which travels the world and serving 150,000 meals daily to those in need.
Every time you have a disaster, you bring the different experts into different areas for the reconstruction, for the relief process. So you need to understand that if you have to rebuild homes that you'll bring architects. If you need to take care of people in the hospitals, you bring more help with doctors. If you have to feed people, it's only very normal and logical to me that you will bring cooks. And that's what we do. Kitchens, restaurants are chaos. And chefs, restaurant people - we manage chaos very well. After a hurricane, it's a lot of chaos. And people go hungry, and people go thirsty. And what we are very good at is understanding the problem and adapting. And so a problem becomes an opportunity. That's why I think chefs more and more - you're going to be seeing more of us in these situations. We're practical. We're efficient. We can do it quicker, faster and better than anybody (via)
Because of his resume and his intense training, Chef José Ramón Andrés Puerta not only gains access to kitchens around the world, he gains access to people in need around the world. He uses his resume as a foundation to live his eulogy virtues.
And that has been continually convicting to me.
I want to learn and grow and develop my resume as much as possible so I can be as helpful as possible, here in my current job, but also anywhere at any time. When there is a crisis or a need, I want to be ready and available and not stuck behind some bureaucratic red tape. I want access, a seat at the table, so I may best be able to serve and remember the poor.
That is why I’m writing less, listening to podcasts less, and working more on my resume.
For more on . . .
What's Left Behind
This reminded me a lot of the tools my grandfather left behind. It also had me thinking about how how important it is to document our days. Soon, they will be gone, and the moments we leave behind will either die with us, or carry on without us. In the hearts and minds of those we leave behind.
For more on . . .
Butti's Edge
A little lesson on how to relax and have a bit of fun. Even when it’s serious.
For more on . . .