Friday Thought : Keep Knocking

Several years ago, this letter was sent to one of my teachers. It now hangs, laminated, on the wall next to her computer. Recently, she pulled it down and showed it to me. Then, she told me the story.

This young man was not a great student. In fact, he was a terrible student. Be she loved him, worked with and never gave up on him, even when he didn’t show much growth or change - all year long.

Nor the following year.

Nor the next.

Nor the next.

Then, almost ten years later, the above letter arrived in the mail.

My friend has a phrase, "Just keep knocking." And he reminded me of it again the other day. I shared with him how frustrated I was with a particular student, that no matter what I did or said, I was not getting through. "Maybe it isn't your job to 'get through,'" he said, "Maybe all you need to do is just keep knocking," he said.

And I like that.

Sometimes, it isn't our job to solve the issue. Sometimes we are not the ones who will make the breakthrough. Sometimes all we are tasked with doing is knocking. Over and over and over again.

We can't force people out of bed or off the couch. Nor can we make them answer the door. But we can keep knocking. Which, for many, is precisely what they need - the constant thud of someone knocking on the door, reminding them that they matter, that someone cares, and that they are not alone.

Because here’s what I know to be true:

If we stop knocking, they will never open the door. If we knock, they might.

And if we knock long enough, I am convinced that they will eventually open the door. And then, it will all be worth it.

Even if it takes ten years.

Thank you, *teacher*, for knocking.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.

Happy Friday!

#doGREATthings!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

When Tired or Frustrated, Remember to Play

When Keith Jarrett sat down to play the piano in front of 1,400 people, he expected disaster. The piano was not what he ordered for such a grand concert. Nor was it in tune or in good shape: some of the keys didn’t work and the foot pedals stuck. Which is why, initially, he refused to play.

But then, he did. Because 17-year-old Vera Brandes asked him to.

At the time, Brandes was Germany’s youngest concert promoter and she had done all that she could do to get everything right. And now, with eager spectators starting to line up at the door, she needed him to play.

So he did.

“I will do this for you,” he said. Then, turning to his producer, he requested that they record the session for an example to others of what they would get if his demands were not met. He knew it was going to be a disaster, and he wanted it recorded. As an example.

Instead, by the end of the night, what they had was Keith Jarrett’s best ever selling album, the best selling solo jazz album, and the best selling solo piano album of all time!

Instead of a disaster, he produced a masterpiece. All because he was willing to look like a fool.

I first heard this album a little over six years ago during a city walk through a Chinese city. Years later, after listening, analyzing, and drawing inspiration from this album, this story, three takeaways continue to rise to the surface.

1. No matter what, Try.
   Although simple and perhaps more than a bit cliché, one of the most important decisions we can continually make is to try. This isn’t new for anyone to hear, especially in the world of education. But another more profound and less commonly understood consequence of trying is this: When we try and when we fail, we allow others to grow.

   This week, I tried running a two-day event of PLAY for our students and staff, and although many things went well, there was also more than a few blunders - all of which were my fault. In the midst of it all, however, people rose to the occasion, displaying their gifts and talents in ways previously unknown, and earning the respect of their peers. My failures allowed others to rise.

   If we don’t try we don’t fail.
   And when we don’t fail, we steal opportunities for others to shine.

   When we embrace our limitations - out loud and in the open - we allow others to exercise their strengths and abilities, we provide the opportunity for the right people in the right place, and we create a stronger, better product. We develop a better team.

   And often times, these discoveries only come when we try new things, when we allow ourselves opportunities to fail, and when we provide space for others to rise.
   

2. “I will do it for you.”
   Some of the most destructive events of our world have come at the hands of those considering only themselves. The most beautiful and influential, people and moments however, have come from those who have considered others before themselves. They look at life, at difficulties and struggles as opportunities to love on and help others, rather than defending what is theirs and looking out for number one (think Nelson Mandela, Sojourner Truth, and on especially on Easter weekend, Jesus Christ). These men and women did not slink into the shadows when trials and tribulations came, they leaned into them, embraced them, endured them. All for the benefit of others.

   So too did Keith Jarrett.

   When Keith Jarrett stepped onto the stage, when he sat before the less-then-sufficient piano and slammed his fingers into the keys so that all could hear, he wasn’t considering himself. He was thinking of a 17-year old girl who needed his help. And created a masterpiece.

   As an educator, when times are difficult, when the season of winter seems to drag on forever, when administrators forget what it’s like to be a teacher, when parents complain, students slouch, and deadlines approach - when we just cant seem to muster up the energy to try any harder - it is then that we must look into the eyes of those we are responsible for, those whom we have influence over, and think to ourselves or say out loud, “I will do this for you.”

   Then, we must get to work.
   

3. Break Routine.
   If Keith Jarrett had received the piano he wanted I’m sure the evening still would have been a success. It was the break in routine, however, that allowed him to create something truly special.

   Routines are important. They allow us to create habits that, overtime, can produce purposeful and quality results (think practicing a musical instrument, working out, or working diligently on writing a book). They provide safety and develop consistency.

   They can also make us blind. Blind to new ways of thinking, better ways of living, and the beauties of life. Routines hold tight to “the way we’ve always done it” and are fearful of change. They lull us into desiring comfort rather than growth.

   A break in routine, however, forces change. And change, although difficult and often uncomfortable, produces growth. But only if we embrace it.

As an educator, father, and husband, there are times and seasons of times where it feels like I am just going through the motions. That what I am doing seems dull, that my passion and excitement for the beautiful gift of educating students, raising children, or loving my wife seems exhausting, not exciting, and that all the time and effort put in day in and day out, seems to amount to nothing.

I know we’re not supposed to say that, but it’s true. For me at least.

Which is why I listen to Keith Jarrett’s Koln concert, because when it comes on in the morning or randomly throughout the day (classical music and soundtracks play in my office all day, every day), I am reminded to keep trying, to do it for others, and to - when needed - find ways to break my routine and fight the temptation to remain in comfort.

Our attempts may not always produce a masterpiece, and in truth, it is more likely that it won’t. But refusing to play the broken piano will produce nothing.

This week, amidst frustrations, fears of failure, and exhaustion, I have been encouraged to play the piano.

Happy Good Friday!!!

#DOGREATTHINGS!!!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

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Friday Thoughts : Blog

Friday Thought : It's a dangerous world out there. Bring a club.

This quote is often in the background of my mind, especially when moments of life or seasons of life are harder than expected. Be it an overly busy schedule that seems to stretch on for much longer than anticipated, the heavy weight of deep disappointment with friends or family or humanity in general, or the dark loss of unrealized dreams and ideas, there are times where life seems exponentially difficult.

And in such times, I find it almost impossible to create, explore, or inspire great things.

Instead of getting up early to run or read, instead of spending the evenings writing or playing cards with my family, instead of enjoying the moments set before me, I find myself scrolling TikTok for longer than I should, being more agitated than the occasion calls for, or simply unmotivated to do the things I know I should be doing. Instead of smiling, improving, or enjoying, I neglect, coast, and stress.

I sit in the muck and mire, wishing and aching for the fresh smell of mountains.

And it is in those moments, the Jack London quote lumbers to the surface, quietly offering a brief reminder of why we’ve been given a club. To ward off that which would devour us.

For many years, I have interpreted London’s words just as they are, that if I wanted to be inspired, if I wanted to do GREAT things or maintain strong relationships, I would have to fight for it. I would have to battle inspiration or attack success until it gave me what I wanted. But I was wrong.

We can’t wait for inspiration, for success, or healthy relationships to come or materialize on their own, we must get off the coach and get after them with passion and conviction. We have to work! We have to go after them. With a club.

We don’t bring the club to attack the things we love and desire. We bring the club to guard against the things that hope to deter and devour.

The club is to protect us from the snickering naysayers, from the lingering shadows of failure, and from the wormtongue of doubt. We bring the club to help ward off the wolves.

Because the reality is, in most cases, we are on our own with our endeavors, our passions, and our dreams. We may have a few people who will join us by the cozy fire or link arms with us when we’re down, but for the real struggles of self improvement, for the deep work of overcoming our inner demons and getting after the dreams of life, more often than not, we are on our own.

No one is coming.

The club is not to beat inspiration, relationships, or dreams into submission. The club is to protect us on our journey towards those things. It is to keep the wolves at bay so we can continue to push forward, try new things, and improve ourselves, our families, our schools, and our communities.

It is to beat the snake that would deceive us into believing that the best things of life should be easy.

It is to ward of the coward that would try and convince us it is better to retreat and live comfortably, than to fight for what is good and right and true.

It is to threaten the sluggard who would entice us to sleep a little longer, work a little less harder, and be content with “It’s good enough.”

It is to kick the sh*t out the wave of discouragement that comes after thinking of and planning for and loving on others, only to receive complaint, criticisms, and scoffs.

The club is to beat back despair.

For the wolves are coming and they are eager to devour. Therefore, in order to do GREAT things - to Give, Relate, Explore, Analyze, and Try - at times, we must press pause on our goals and dreams and simply pick up the club and plunge into battle.

When instead of gratitude we receive complaints, pick up the club and keep giving and serving and caring for others knowing it is always right to do right, because its right.

When a comfortable life means sacrificing the humanity of others, pick up the club and fight for integrity.

When the incumbent accuses you of being a clown and sneers that your ideas won’t work, pick up the club and beat back the fear of failure or being misunderstood. Be different. Be confident. Be you.

When past regrets try to haunt our current blessings, pick up the club and fight for grace and second, third, and 11th chances.

When gossip and slander knock at our door, pick up the club and defend Truth.

When we want to hit the snooze button just one more time, pick up the club and beat back exhaustion.

When temptation slips through the cracks of our defenses, pick up the club and fight like hell to regain control.

When your neighbors or coworkers make sly or unkind remarks, don’t race to Facebook and post a passive aggressive meme, pick up a friggen club and fight back with kindness and forgiveness.

When our bosses overlook our hard work and diligence, pick up a club and slay the temptation to cut corners.

When you feel alone or abandoned by those you love and care for, pick up the club, chase off self-pity, and find someone to comfort and encourage. Ensure no one else is alone in the fight.

When our kiddos act like kiddos and not the quality men and women we want them to be, pick up the club and attack the sudden and seemingly justified desire to scold and reprimand. Fight for patience and lovingkindness.

When we are enticed to bend our character or sacrifice our integrity for personal gain, when moments and people try to steal our hopes and goals and dreams or threaten to cast a shadow over our joy and passion for life and living - for doing GREAT things - let us pick up the club, dig in our heals, and prepare for battle.

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” - J.R.R. Tolkein

As an educator, father, friend, husband, and constant dreamer of what could be, I find I am often discouraged by the events of the world and actions of others, including myself. Being reminded, however, that the greatest of us have had to endure the hardest of times, that the most beautiful of creations have often been birthed in the midst of despair, and that a rose can grow from concrete has not only been encouraging, it has been uplifting.

And that is what has been on my mind this week.

If you have any, “When (life happens), pick up the club and . . . .” examples of your own, please share and I will add them to the list.

Happy Friday!!!

#doGREATthings!!!

Give. Relate. Explore. Analyze. Try.

For more on . . .

Friday Thoughts : Blog

Friday Thought : Making it Personal

“Don’t take it personal,” I found myself saying to multiple teachers this week, and I’ve been wrestling with it ever since.

The first time was with a teacher whom I had to intervene with and step on her toes a bit with a decision she didn’t particularly like. The other was with a teacher who was struggling with a student who was physically and verbally attacking her, “Why does he have to be so cruel?” she said through puddling tears. “Don’t take it personal,” I said to both of them and instantly regretting it because how could they not? As an educator, we pour our lives into this job. We sacrifice family, personal time and finances, we devote our hearts to the people we live with and serve. We give our whole person. How can it not be personal?

This past week, instead of saying or believe that we “shouldn’t take it personal,” I’ve begun to wonder if making it personal is exactly what we should be doing. When it isn’t personal, when its calculated, cold, and non-relational, that’s when bad things happen. When it isn’t personal we make decision based on numbers and forget about the people - the very thing we are here to help and serve!

With the first teacher, the one I offended by making a calculated decision, because she took it personal we had to have a heart-to-heart conversation. We had to GET personal. And for almost an hour, we talked out the situation, why it happened and how it could have been handled differently. Then we discussed how to move forward. We BOTH acknowledged our own humanity in the situation and sought to understand the others. We made it VERY personal, which allowed us to reconcile, to connect more sincerely, and to build trust. Because it was personal we dug deeper, cried more tears, and learned a great deal more about each other, our triggers and stressors. Because it was personal we can now trust future decisions because we trust the person.

Making it personal allowed us to heal, and to grow.

It also allows room for empathy, as it did for the teacher with her abusive student.

Last week, this particular teacher was in my office several times because a kiddo that we’ve been working hard with was having a difficult week. He was constantly running out of the classroom, was vulgar and disrespectful, and had become increasingly violent with a few students, staff, and particularly this teacher. “When is enough, enough?” She asked, wiping tears from her face, “He’s literally beating the shit out of me.” And he was. But sending him home wasn’t an option. So we continued one, throwing darts of ideas at the wall, hoping at least one would stick.

Then, we had our Christmas concert.

We were nervous about how this young child would do, if he could handle the pressure and the audience, but we decided to try anyway. We placed multiple staff nearby, ready to pounce if he needed our support. Which he did. Just not in the way we anticipated.

Throughout the concert, this little man stood on the stage, without moving and without singing, arms crossed, and pouting. Never once did he even mouth a single word to any song. Then, when it was over, when the parents gathered around to take pictures and wrap their kids up in hugs and kisses and praise, this little boy crumbled into his teachers arms and cried.

“My parents didn’t come,” he said between sobs.

Later that day, that same teacher was in my office crying again. But not for herself. She was crying for this little child and asking over and over, “What can we do for him?” She could barely control her grief for this child.

We brainstormed a few ideas, but mostly we talked about how she shouldn’t take it personal. “When he goes off, it isn’t about you. He’s reacting to something else.” But like the teacher above, the moment I said it, it felt wrong. Or at least incomplete.

Yes, don’t take it personal in that when someone is unkind or rude often times it isn’t about you at all, it’s about something bigger, something more personal to them. Behaviors are oftentimes signs of communication - especially for kiddos - and we shouldn’t take them personal. But yet, we ahould also take it personal because than we can know how best to act, how to care for and love those in need because we understand what it means to hurt, to suffer, and to need grace and compassion. Taking it personal means you can BE personal!

Seeing this young child as a complicated person allows his teacher - allows our school - to game-plan ideas and solutions that are PERSONAL to him. Making it personal makes us more invested, more empathetic, and more patient.

On a day when TikTok is advocating “Shoot Up Your School Day,” seeing the people behind our decisions and at the other end of our actions is exactly what we need in education right now. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. Because then we get to wrestle with the best and most important part of our jobs: the human being stuff.

Don’t take it PERSONAL. Make it personal.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Right now, we are all rubber bands

@will_santino_illustration

In my most recent staff meeting I handed out a rubber band and asked people to get into groups of three. “Now stretch it out,” I said. And they did, but only to the point of resistance.

“How’s the rubber band?” I asked.

“Fine,” they said, because rubber bands are made to be flexible and to endure. Just like us.

“Now pull a little more,” I said. And they did. Not as much as the first, but still a good stretch.

“What about now?” I asked, “How’s the rubber band?”

“Fine,” they still said, but less assuredly.

“Now pull again.” And they did. “And again . . . and again, and again.” With each and again, they pulled a little less and worried a little more. One teacher even used her free hand to block her face.

“This is where we are,” I said, “We are made to endure, to be flexible, but with each new request, with each new demand, we stretch a little more and a little more and a little more. We are now living in a state of constant fear that we’re about to break.”

We can endure hard seasons. We can absorb change, be flexible, and stretch ourselves further than we thought imaginable. But not forever. Lest we break.

The problem is - for my staff in that meeting and for many of us in our daily lives - we don’t see an end in sight, largely because the problems and issues are far bigger than us, and we can’t do anything about it.

What we can do, however, is show grace. To ourselves, and to others.

Giving grace doesn’t mean we have a free pass to sacrifice our integrity or high standards of excellence - absolutely not! But it does mean that when we fail, we show grace - that we courteous and show goodwill.

You are trying your best. The woman next to you is trying her best as well. The man across from you is trying his best. The kiddos in your classrooms are showing up and trying their best, and your boss is trying her best. But we can only stretch so far. And for many of us, we are walking fearful that, with the next request or burden to bare, we will break.

We can’t solve most of the problems the people around us are asked to endure, but we can give them - and ourselves - some grace. Which, in the end, might be the only thing that holds us together.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Friday Thought : Evolving, not Revolving

Often times, themes present themselves in my life. When they do, they pop up, almost overwhelmingly, in a variety of ways: conversations and tv shows, books and podcasts, songs, and Saturday morning fires.

Most recently, the theme of growth has come to the forefront. Most notably, the concept of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is hard. Both in asking for it and receiving it because they both demand something from us. If we need forgiveness, we must admit we’ve done something wrong, giving up our ego, our pride, maybe even our stature (at least we think so, anyway). To provide forgiveness means giving up payment or revenge - we incur the debt owed, rather than enforcing it.

Forgiveness is also beautiful. It reconciles relationships and springs forth life and opportunity - it is the catalyst to evolving. As individuals and as a community.

"It’s easy to make a prison out of our pain, out of the past” Dr. Edith Eva Eger writes in The Choice: Embrace the Possible, because it allows us to hold onto our victimhood and be in control. Forgiving others who have caused the pain means letting go of our hope and desire for justice. It means letting go of our longings for revenge.

“At best,” Dr Eger continues, “Revenge is useless. It can’t alter what was done to us, it can’t erase the wrongs we’ve suffered, it can’t bring back the dead. At worst, revenge perpetuates the cycle of hate. It keeps the hate circling on and on. When we seek revenge, even nonviolent revenge, we are revolving not evolving.”

The only way to stop the revolving - in our lives as well as in the lives of those around us - is to forgive. Even when those who have hurt us don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. And that, for me at least, is one of the hardest things to do. If not impossible.

But that’s where the theme has hit me. Not on the importance of forgiveness necessarily, but on how to forgive, presenting itself in three truths:

1. Allow space to grieve. “For what happened, for what didn’t happen - and to give up the need for a different past. To accept life as it was and as it is” (Dr. Eger). This one is tough because grieving - to me at least - means thinking about what happened, reliving events, and letting “them” win. But it doesn’t. And they don’t. An essential part of forgiving is to acknowledge all that needs to be forgiven, that the burden of hurt and grief and anger is heavy, and that we are willing - even begrudgingly so - to lay it down at their feet. For then and only then are we able to truly begin the process of evolving.

1. Allow space for the bigger story : When someone does us wrong it is easy to define them only as that wrong. They are no longer a complex person with gifts and talents and a few fallibilities (just like us), they are cowards, betrayers, and terrible people. They are suddenly holistically and completely bad. Which makes it easy to hate them and wish sweet revenge. An essential component to forgiveness is allowing their failures to exist in isolation. In that moment they were flawed, or in that moment their weaknesses came through, or in that moment (or string of moments) their ugliness was on display. But they can still do good things. There are very few Hitler sort of people in this world, and allowing space for people in our lives to not be Hitler also provides space for them to be good people who do good things and, by and large, want to make the world a better place. They just really suck or fail miserably at times. But not all times. And seeing them in that way allows for the door to forgiveness to open. Even if just a crack.

2. Allow time for the wave to build. This image, from one of my favorite Instagram/bloggers says most of what needs to be said:

We don’t need to holistically forgive in one moment. We don’t need to invite those who have hurt or scarred us over for dinner, plan a Christmas party together, or pretend that all is fine and dandy. Because it’s not. But it can be, someday. But only if we start with small acts.

Why not start today?

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Friday Thought : Love. That's it.

@justinmcroberts

This might be one of the most encouraging posts I’ve written in a long time. For me at least. I hope it is for you, too.

The following passage has been increasingly on my mind and heart lately. And the more I read it, dwell on it, and try to live, the more encouraged - and convicted - I become.

Love is . . .

A modified version of 1 Corinthians 13:

If I am elegant in speech, sharing words as sweet as honey, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of foresight and can acutely analyze all things, if I have a belief and conviction that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and endure immeasurable hardships so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in destruction but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 

Convicting in that no program, gift, slogan, or initiative means anything if not driven by love.

Encouraging in that, no matter how many times an idea or an attempt to help others fails or is ill-received, if done in love, it is not wasted.

Lean on Me:

Then, this morning while greeting kiddos and jamming to The Rubberband Man Radio on Spotify (a GREAT playlist!), an old yet beautiful song played. Lean on Me, by Bill WIthers

Most Generous Thing:

About an hour later, a principal friend of mine shared this with me. It is no my new favorite question:

What’s the most generous thing you can do today?

Happy Friday!

Keep striving to do Great things and change the world! No matter what we do, if done with love and sincere compassion for others, it is never wrong. For as Allister Begg - an old favorite preacher - used to say, “It’s always right to do right, because it’s right.”

Do right. Do love.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  Friday Thoughts

Friday Thought: Love. That's it.

@justinmcroberts

This might be one of the most encouraging posts I’ve written in a long time. For me at least. I hope it is for you, too.

The following passage has been increasingly on my mind and heart lately. And the more I read it, dwell on it, and try to live, the more encouraged - and convicted - I become.

Love is . . .

A modified version of 1 Corinthians 13:

If I am elegant in speech, sharing words as sweet as honey, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of foresight and can acutely analyze all things, if I have a belief and conviction that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and endure immeasurable hardships so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in destruction but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 

Convicting in that no program, gift, slogan, or initiative means anything if not driven by love.

Encouraging in that, no matter how many times an idea or an attempt to help others fails or is ill-received, if done in love, it is not wasted.

Lean on Me:

Then, this morning while greeting kiddos and jamming to The Rubberband Man Radio on Spotify (a GREAT playlist!), an old yet beautiful song played. Lean on Me, by Bill WIthers

Most Generous Thing:

About an hour later, a principal friend of mine shared this with me. It is no my new favorite question:

What’s the most generous thing you can do today?

Happy Friday!

Keep striving to do Great things and change the world! No matter what we do, if done with love and sincere compassion for others, it is never wrong. For as Allister Begg - an old favorite preacher - used to say, “It’s always right to do right, because it’s right.”

Do right. Do love.

Friday Thought : A Boy and His Dog

I listened to a great podcast recently, about a Boy and His Dog.

The boy, who had fallen on hard times, was selling his dog - his best friend - for a hundred dollars simply because he needed to eat. Being a writer wasn't paying any bills. Little Jimmy didn't really care, though. He wanted the nice dog, but for a better bargain. So Little Jimmy took advantage of the man and his plight and instead offered $25. The skinny kid sighed, knowing he needed to feed his wife and couldn't afford to feed his dog, and finally accepting $40.

Two weeks later, when a screen writer offered to buy that same dog for $200, Little Jimmy once again took advantage of the situation and refused to sell the dog for anything less than $15,000 AND a speaking role in the man's new and upcoming movie! The man had written the screenplay in four days and sold it for $35,000 dollars, only a few days prior.

The dog was Butkus. The skinny kid, Sylvester Stallone (pictured above). And the movie was Rocky.

Whenever I come to work, I am constantly encouraged and inspired by those of you who have chosen to live a Sylvester Stallone sort of life. You work hard, endure hardships, then rather than sitting in the mess of life, you find solutions. Thank you for being that for me, for your fellow colleagues, and most importantly, for the students who have the privilege of being in your presence.

I promise you, they notice.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Open Thoughts  :  Friday Thoughts

9/6/19 : Friday's Thoughtful Thought

I don't know if you experience themes in you daily life, I know I do. Often actually. Almost weekly, an idea or truth or topic will somehow align itself perfectly and continually show up randomly throughout my days. Sometimes the themes are large and heavy, like the concepts of justice and humanity. Other times its something simple, like the importance of Hamlet being performed in prison. Other times it is something dark, like the role hate plays in our lives and surrounding society. My favorite "week of themes", though, was the one when Russia continually invaded my space and I was then fortunate enough to learn how three Russian men, at different times, prevented all out war against the US, saving thousands of lives.

This week was another one of those weeks, with the theme being, "You are the sum of the five people you hang out with most." It started with an email from my boss, Mr. Thompson, and ended with an early morning conversation with a fellow colleague, Mr. Truax, when he shared how most all of his teaching accolades can be traced back to his early years and the mentors he surrounded himself with. Between the two bookends, this theme continually crept into my thoughts through podcasts (Your Weird, by The Minimalists), my current morning reading (The Art of Gathering: How we Meet and Why it Matters, by Priya Parker), conversations with my son about whom he chooses to hang out with, conversations with some of staff about whom they decide to hang out with, and a conversation with my big sister about whom we decide to "let into her arena" (a phrase from Brene Brown and her brilliant Netflix special, A Call to Courage).

I appreciate the concept that we are the sum of the five people we hang out with most, largely because it’s true! Think of students and how the groups they cluster with are greater than the any of the present individuals, how it encourages kids to act and think in ways they may never do on their own (negative and positive). Think about the people we go to when we're tired or scared or hurt and how the advice they give, and the direction they point us toward greatly impacts the kind of people we are and will become. We are, most often, the sum of the five people we hang out with most.

But it isn't just the people that impact us. It's also the stories we surround ourselves with. News stories, the novels and non-fiction we choose to read, the movies and TV programs we binge or watch on a nightly basis, the podcasts we listen to, and the music that entertains us. These also play a crucial role in the summing up of who we are, how we interpret life and the world around, and how we choose to interact with that life and the world around.

This notion, this truth, that we are the sum of what we CHOOSE to surround ourselves with is deeply comforting to me because it means that although we are greatly susceptible to our surroundings, we are also in complete control. WE CAN CHOSE WHO WE LISTEN TO AND THE STORIES WE SURROUND OURSELVES WITH!!!

Who or what kind of stories are you surrounded by? Do they encourage you to sit in the stink and muck of the situation? Or do they sniff once and then move on and toward a solution? Do they feed frustration or hope? Are they healthy? Or are they toxic?

Because we are not water, simply following the path of least resistance, completely characterized by our immediate surroundings. We are human - we’re alive! - and therefore have a choice on how to respond, how to think, and how to ensure we are healthy by purposefully surrounding ourselves with people and ideas and stories that, as Kim Chambers says, "normalize greatness."

Who are your five that make up the sum of who you are? And perhaps more importantly, what are they - and you - making?

The answer to these questions has been on my heart and mind a lot this week.

May we all work and play and live like Calvin. And then inspires others to do the same.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Open Thoughts  :  Friday Thoughts

8/30/19 : Friday's Thoughtful Thought

We moved into our new home almost three months ago, and for almost three months I have been putting off two simple tasks: fixing the back door to the house and fixing the bottom shelf in my closet. This last weekend I finally got to them both, and it took me less than 5 minutes to complete the task. Seriously. What was strange, though, was that it wasn't until after they were fixed that I realized just how annoying they truly were. Even now, when I walked near the back door or into my closet, there is a noticeable missing of anxiety that I wasn't even aware was there. With their broken presence gone, I truly do feel a lot better!

I don't know about you, but I tend to do this often. I ignore a simple task that nags at me everyday for little reason other than I just don't want to do it, or because I have other "more pressing things to do." But in reality, taking a literal 5-10 minutes out of my day to fix whatever it is that needs fixing truly relieves me of unneeded anxiety or annoyance, providing more space and patience to deal with the bigger, more pressing things.

Do you have something like this? Have you already noticed a broken or misunderstood teaching procedure? A squeaky or jammed drawer? The grumblings of a possible disruptive student or behavior? Or is there something else either in your classroom or home that, every time you see it, use it, or think about it brings even the slightest discomfort ? If so, make time this weekend to fix it, now, before the year gets into it's groove, and relieve yourself of the little yet constant annoyance that will surely pester you for the rest of the year.

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Open Thoughts  :  Friday Thoughts