A Heineken commercial that inspires more than a drink

My friend, Amanda Bedford, posted this the other day, and ever since, I can't stop thinking about it.

I think what I love most about this is the brutal honesty of showing the videos. It's one thing to work together, in a simulation, and to discover, over time, someone's differences and, perhaps, modified views. But when the video is shown, of their unadulterated and perhaps even puffed up ultra views, there is nothing to hide behind. They are bare, and they are open. 

And still, they are chosen. I love that.

What this video also points to is this: one person cannot change the situation. When the bald guy walks off and the transgender mother sits down, for a moment, we see just how awful it can be. But then, just as quickly, how a stiff "solemn" man can also be instantly funny, and turn an awkward situation into a communal one. 

God I love this. Because, if only.

Related links . . .

Solution: #EatTogether  :  Diversity makes us Smarter  :  Let's just talk - Maya Angelou  :  Walking to Listen

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The Great Wall Lovers reunite 22 years later . . . for one minute.

In 1988, after 12 years of love and collaboration, the notorious performance artists Marina Abramović and Ulay decided to take a spiritual journey that would culminate in the ending of their relationship. The project was called “The Lovers: the Great Wall Walk.”  

Starting from the two opposite ends, each of them walked half the length of the Great Wall of China. After three months, they met in the middle, and ended their relationship.

(via).

The performance was recorded by Murray Grigor for the BBC (16mm film, transferred to video), which resulted in the documentary The Great Wall: Lovers at the Brink.

Twenty two years later, they reunited for one minute.

In 2010, as part of her MoMA retrospective, Abramović sat in a chair under bright spotlights opposite an empty chair, where members of the public could sit as long as they wanted, gazing into her eyes. A seemingly endless number of people lined up for the opportunity to sit with her, many sitting multiple times on different days, several for as long as ten hours, some even after waiting all night. 

Unannounced, Ulay showed up.

One of Marina's "most daring and notorious performances (named Rhythm 0) was to test the limits of the relationship between a performer and his/hers audience. Abramović placed on a table 72 objects that people were allowed to use in any way that they chose. Some of these were objects that could give pleasure, while others could be wielded to inflict pain, or to harm her. Among them were a rose, a feather, honey, a whip, olive oil, scissors, a scalpel, a gun and a single bullet. For six hours the artist allowed the audience members to manipulate her body and actions." At the end, she stood up and started walking toward the audience. Everyone ran away, to escape an actual confrontation (via).

In 2015, Marina Abramović, the world’s best-known performance artist, was sued by her former collaborator and romantic partner, the German artist Ulay, in a dispute over works they created jointly (via).

This frustrates the hell out of me, because it taints and smears the idea of Love. Two people, equally passionate about life and expression and beauty of humanity, and neither can get beyond their own skin and fully love another more than themselves. 

What's the point of it all? Of the walks and exhibits if, at the root of it all, is self? 

It seems empty, and fully unfulfilling. As is most things that begin and end with thy self. 

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-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  On Living

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Syrian Artist Creates Sculptures From Remnants of War

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Abu Ali al-Bitar, a 45-year-old house painter who collected dozens of rocket debris and spent ammunition casings, flattens bread dough using a leftover rocket in the rebel-held town of Douma, on the eastern outskirts of the Syrian capital Damascus, on April 20, 2017. Eastern Ghouta, a besieged opposition stronghold east of Damascus, has been battered by regime air strikes and shelling since Syria's conflict erupted in 2011. Since then, children have grown accustomed to warnings not to play outside -- but the grown-ups are finding creative ways to make sure kids can still have fun (via).

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

In spite of pain, like a clawing and kicking against the dark, art and beauty and the human spirit survive. Perhaps even thrives, because we're made for it. Not to kill and break and destroy, but to create and cultivate. To rise above, and for holding flowers.

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These guys will make your palms sweat.

It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.

- Sir Edmond Hillary

"ALEX HONNOLD is a professional adventure rock climber whose audacious free-solo ascents of America’s biggest cliffs have made him one of the most recognized and followed climbers in the world. A gifted but hard-working athlete, Alex “No Big Deal” Honnold is known as much for his humble, self-effacing attitude as he is for the dizzyingly tall cliffs he has climbed without a rope to protect him if he falls. Honnold has been profiled by 60 Minutes and the New York Times, featured on the cover of National Geographic, appeared in international television commercials and starred in numerous adventure films including the Emmy-nominated “Alone on the Wall.” (via)

He also has a new book out, Alone on the Wall which "recounts the seven most astonishing achievements of Honnold's extraordinary life and career, brimming with lessons on living fearlessly, taking risks, and maintaining focus even in the face of extreme danger" (via).

"Chris Sharma’s preternatural climbing ability and visionary first ascents have earned him an enduring reputation as one of the world’s best rock climbers. This American professional athlete, ambassador and entrepreneur from Santa Cruz, California, has been on a global odyssey, now two decades in the making, in search of the planet’s most difficult and beautiful rock climbs. Sharma has dedicated years of his life to discovering and climbing singular, aesthetic and seemingly impossible routes—always with his humble, meditative approach and powerful, dynamic style of movement. Today he continues to climb at the world standard, pushing the limits of what’s possible and always reimagining the direction of his remarkably storied climbing career (via)."

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Beware! The Muslims are coming!

From TED Radio Hour

I enjoyed this Ted Radio Hour show for various reasons. One, it reminded me to not be too serious and to laugh more about hardships and turmoils. But more importantly, I appreciated these two speakers, Maysoon Sayid and Negin Farsad because their stories, told with humor, are trying to break down stereotypes and prejudices and are bringing people together. 

Negin Farsad has even taken her mission off the stage and into the street, setting up booths, making pastries, and asking if anyone has any questions about Islam. And when people ask, when they truly sit down and ask honest questions, questions like, "Why do some Muslim women look like you, and some Muslim women you can't tell who they are? Like if they robbed a bank, you wouldn't be able to tell who they are?" or "I don't understand, I mean, you're dressed like an American" - "I am American" she interrupts - "Okay . . ." and "Tell me why I haven't seen Muslims who are not extremist criticizing the Muslims who are?" walls begin to crumble.

In order for community and unity to be found, for ignorance to be beaten, somebody has to be strong. Kind. And bigger than the situation, than themselves.  They must, "remain delightful" because, "you'll attract more bees with honey." Which also means, sometimes, those holding the honey will have to endure the stings of the ignorant and cruel.

Negin and her fellow traveling comedians made a movie about this project called, "The Muslims are Coming." 

Soon thereafter, a known hate group spent 300,000 dollars on an ANTI MUSLIM poster campaign. 

Negin and her crew responded with a "Fighting Bigotry with Delightful Posters" campaign. They raised the money, worked with the city of NY for over five months, and got the posters approved.

The posters said things like, "Fact. Grown up Muslims can do more pushups than baby Muslims!"

But then, two days after they were supposed to go up, they were banned for "political content."

Despite this and other obstacles, like death threats, Negin says she still things Social Justice Comedy is one of the greatest weapons against bigotry. "I have performed in red states and blue states, and one thing I've found," she explains, "is that the American people are not built to hate. They want to be friendly and they want to offer you a coffee and open the door for you." They want to be good neighbors.

Because "if you approach people with love," Negin argues, "you get love in return." Muslim or not.

Once more Ms. Adichie's words come to mind, "Single stories create stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but incomplete."

Remain delightful, because the Muslims are coming, and many of them carry honey.

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Superheroes hold umbrellas and cut hair

Ivy a few months post surgery with Avery and Melanie (photo from The Moth)

The Moth has recently published two powerful stories of kindness and love. Of the kind that boost our spirits and remind us of the beauty of humanity - even in the midst of darkness.

(Click on the links to listen to their stories.)

In Tim Manley's roughly eight minute story, A Super Hero Gets Sick, he tells of when, as a boy, he become deeply sick. He was terrified of needles and didn't quiet understand all that was happening, as most young kids don't. But what he does know keeps him calm: his mother is at his side because she is his faithful sidekick - as any good superhero must have. 

Told several years after the event, Tim provides a beautiful picture of parents and the storms they shielded from their children, while we play with the raindrops that fall gently from the rings of their umbrellas, completely unaware of their fears, their pain, and their tears. 

A picture of Tim in his superhero outfit, hanging in his mother’s house. Photo courtesy Tim Manley.

The second story is from Melanie Kostrzewa. Told from a parents perspective, Melanie shares of the time her young daughter must undergo a craniotomy, the frustration of not being able to do anything, and the unexpected kindness of a doctor who did more than just save her daughter's life, he saved her hair.

Ivy a few months post surgery with Avery (photo from The Moth)

Ivy post surgery at home a few days later (photo from The Moth)

Walking to Listen : 4,000 Miles Across America, One Story at a Time

Andrew Forsthoefel is an author, speaker, and peace activist living in the Pioneer Valley of western Massachusetts. After graduating from college, he spent eleven months trekking across the United States with a sign on his pack that read “Walking to Listen,” recording interviews with the people he met along the way. He co-produced a radio documentary about this project that was featured on Transom.org and This American Life.

His book, Walking to Listen tells the tale of the journey.

"Every one of us has an extraordinary story worth hearing, and I’m walking the country to listen. There’s no such thing as the Average Joe, no such thing as a boring, uninteresting, unexceptional life (for more on this, see this poem by Yevgeny Yevtushenko). This walk is to honor that. Life is fast, and I’ve found it’s easy to confuse the miraculous for the mundane, so I’m slowing down, way down, in order to give my full presence to the extraordinary that infuses each moment and resides in every one of us. We’re a country of great diversities and divisions; sharing stories, I think, is one way to find resonance" (via)

The Moth recently shared one of the many stories from Andrew's journey, one where Andrew "meets a man who tests the limits of his compassion and makes him see his project in a new light". You can listen to it here.

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Stories  :  Humanity  :  Power of Stories

Serbia's Burning Platform : Not to punish, but to help

On New Year's Eve in 2000, Popovic and his friends organized a celebration in Republic Square. They lined up the hottest Serbian rock bands and spread the word that midnight would feature a live concert by the Red Hot Chili Peppers - an international sensation and a huge hit in Serbia. Thousands of people packed the square in Belgrade, dancing to the local bands and buzzing with anticipation about the main event. One minute before midnight, the square went dark and people began counting down. But when the clock struck twelve, no famous rock band appeared.

The only audible sound was depressing music. As the audience listened in shock, a psychologist named Boris Tadic delivered a clear message from behind the stage. "We have nothing to celebrate," he said, asking them to go home and think about what action they would take. "This year has been a year of war and oppression. But it doesn't have to be that way. Let's make the coming year count. Because 2000 is the year."

 . . . When Harvard professor John Kotter studied more than one hundred companies trying to institute major change, he found that the first error they made was failing to establish a sense of urgency . . . "Without a sense of urgency, people . . . won't make needed sacrifices. Instead they cling to status quo and resist." . . . when {Otpor!} announced, "This is the year!" it was clear to the Serbians that there was a pressing need to act immediately.

. . . To counter apathy, most change agents focus on presenting an inspiring vision of the future. This is an important message to convey, but it's no the type of communication that should come first. If you want people to take risks, you need first to show what's wrong with the present. To drive people out of their comfort zones, you have to cultivate dissatisfaction, frustration, and anger at the current state of affairs, making it a guaranteed loss. "The greatest communicators of all time," says communication expert Nancy Duarte, start by establishing "what is" here's the status quo." Then, they "compare that to what could be," making "that gap as big as possible.

. . . Once commitment is fortified, instead of glancing in the rearview mirror, it's better to look forward by highlighting the work left to be done. When we're determined  to reach an objective, it's the gab between where we are and where we aspire to be that lights a fire under us. In Serbia, as the Otpor! movement drew a loyal following that was no longer frozen in fear, it was time to show them how much distance they had yet to travel.

That's why Popovic and his friends halted the concert and sent the citizens of Belgrade home on New Year's Eve. In the span of less than two years, Otpor! had accumulated more than 70,000 members in 130 different branches. But to actually overthrow Milosevic, they would need millions of votes. A few years earlier, Milosevic had agreed to a relatively democratic election - and won. His minions controlled the ballot boxes. Even if Serbians could vote him out of office, would he concede? Popovic and his allies understood that they needed intense emotions to propel action across the country. It was time to destabilize the status quo and turn on the go system by reminding them that there was nothing to celebrate because the present was intolerable. "Instead of courage," Tom Peters recommends fostering, "a level of fury with the status quo that one cannot not act."

 . . . {However,} venting doesn't extinguish the flame of anger; it feeds it. When we vent our anger, we put a lead foot on the gas pedal of the go system . . . venting doesn't work even if you think it does - even if it makes you feel good. The better you feel after venting, the more aggressive you get: not only toward your critic, but also toward innocent bystanders.

. . . {because} one of the fundamental problems with venting is that it focuses attention on the perpetrator of injustice. The more you think about the person who wronged you, the more violently you want to lash out in retaliation. "Anger is a powerful mobilizing tool," Srdja Popovic explains, "but if you make people angry, they might start breaking things." On New Year's Eve at midnight in 2000, when Otpor! shut down the concert, turned off the lights, and played sad music, only one sight was visible: a gigantic screen, on which a slide show of pictures was being played, none of which featured the despised Milosevic.

The images instead were of Serbian soldiers and police officers who had been killed under Milosevic's rule.

To channel anger productively, instead of venting about the harm that a perpetrator has done, we need to reflect on the victims who have suffered from it. . . activat{ing} what psychologists call empathetic anger - the desire to right wrongs done unto another. It turns on the go system, but it makes us thoughtful about how to best respect the victim's dignity. Research demonstrates that when we're angry at others, we aim for retaliation or revenge. But when we're angry for others, we seek out justice and a better system. We don't want to punish; we want to help.

When Otpor! displayed the images of dead soldiers, Serbians were pumped with empathetic adrenaline and broke out into a chant: "Let's make this coming year count." They weren't going to get excited about actually taking down the dictator, but they could feel enough righteous indignation that hey were determined to do so. In Popovic's words, "There was an energy in the air that no rock band could ever re-create. Everybody felt that they had something important to do.

That autumn, Otpor! mobilized one of the largest voter turnouts in Serbia's history, defeating Milosevic and shepherding in a new era of democracy. Boris Tadic, the psychologist who had sent everyone home because there was nothing to celebrate, was elected president of Serbia for years later.

Quotes from Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World (pages 231-242)

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History :  Humanity  :  On Living

Revised History of the Black Panther Party

For me, the Black Panther Party meant leather car coats, black turtlenecks and black berets. It meant violence and guns. It inspired fear. But like the many black men and women who joined the Black Panther Party with ideas of power and revenge, I was fully disillusioned. Because for many years my understanding of the Black Panther Party, their history and their purpose, was shaped by media and movies. And I believed that what I saw and knew was fully true. 

But the Black Panther party was not, as J. Edger Hoover argued (and I loosely believed), “the single greatest threat to the United States.” They were not, as I have unfairly thought, a racist terrorist group that wanted to spread fear by violence in hopes of bringing down the system. Rather, they were smart and educated and extremely giving. And they were inclusive to all color. Something I never knew. 

I recently listened to a podcast appropriately entitled, The Black Panther Party, hosted by Stuff You Should Know. The following is a brief summary of their 67 minute overview of the incredibly misunderstood Black Panther Party.

From Crow:

To grasp the why of the Black Panthers, historical context is important. They were created at the tail end of the Jim Crow Era, which, when simply put, means that life for a black American was very hostile. They were generally poor, were constantly harassed, and often beaten by police. The racial tension was intense, and it was everywhere.

And Black communities were tired of waiting for things to get better.

To Arms:

Photo by Stephen Shames

Robert Williams an American Civil Rights leader codified the idea of needing to defend self against an oppressive society. He might also be responsible for the (unfair) images we have today of the Black Panther Party - of black men with ammunition around their necks - because he was an early advocate for fighting back against the oppression and mistreatment of the white government. In 1962, he wrote Negroes with Guns (1962) which details “his experience with violent racism and his disagreement with the non-violent wing of the Civil Rights Movement and the text was widely influential; Black Panther Party founder Huey Newton cited it as a major inspiration (via).

However, The Black Panther Party, armed and ready for violence, was not aggressive or offensive and in search of a fight. Instead, they were passive. Violence would only be used as a last resort. Just like a black panther.

Black Panthers (the animal):

Bobby Seale co-founded the Black Panther Party (originally called The Black Panther Party of Self Defense) and chose the black panther because “the nature of a panther is, if you push it into a corner, that panther is going to try and move left or right, to get you to get out of the way. But if you keep pushing {the black panther} back into that corner, sooner or later, that panther is going to come out of that corner and try and wipe out who keeps oppressing it into that corner” (via).

Black Panthers (the party):

The initial purpose of arms for the Black Panther Party was to defend themselves until a black man or woman could walk the streets without harassment, until equal opportunity. 

But carrying guns and intimidating law enforcement was not all they did. In fact, especially in the early stages, the Black Panther Party spent most of their time and energy serving and educating.

Members of the Black Panther Party were avowed Marxists and wanted to get rid of Capitalists; they were socialists, and they were willing to join hands (often literally) with anyone who shared the same sentiments or struggles. No matter the race.

Legal Arms:

Huey Newton, the other co-founder of the Black Panther Party, found in the California Law Book that citizens were allowed to carry a gun in public as long they were not concealed. (Ronald Reagan would soon sign a gun control act that stopped the open carrying of guns . . . and then in the late 70’s, he would team up with NRA and fight for the right to bear arms, but only after the Black Panther Party had lost its prominence).

Huey Newton, Bobby Seal, and other members of the Black Panther Party then legally patrolled the city of Oakland, looking for black men and women who were pulled over, and they would stand at a reasonable distance and protect the black citizen. Because they wanted to make sure their brothers and sisters where not mistreated or abused, as they so often were. And it worked! The cops responded as the Black Panther Party wanted, with much more care in how they treated the black citizen, and the black citizen responded as the Black Panther Party wanted - without violence. 

Arming the Party:

Photo by Stephen Shames

This show of strength, along with the leather car coats, black turtlenecks and black berets, create an image that attracted many new converts. But the men who quickly joined the party with ideas of guns and power and revenge in mind were fully disillusioned and quickly educated. Literally.

Kathleen Cleaver a then Black Panther Party leader and now professor at Emory University School of Law, told a story on CNN, of a young black man who joined the party to get a gun and join the patrol. When they gave him a stack of books he said, “I thought you were going to arm me."

"We just did," the Party responded.

For the Black Panther Party, violence was not the answer or solution.  Education and serving the community was.

Black Panther Service:

Photo by Stephen Shames (Like the men toting guns, these men and women are also members of the Black Panther Party. The contrast is striking. I love it).

Huey Newton recognized that they could make a greater difference in the community if the underprivileged boys and girls ate breakfast before their long day of schooling. So they did. Five days a week, the Black Panther Party served over 20,000 free breakfasts around the country. For free. They also offered free medical clinics where people could get vaccines, be tested for diseases, and treated for basic illnesses. And under the direction and inspiration of Elaine Brown, the Black Panther Party opened the Oakland Community School, which was free, and where students could learn poetry, foreign languages, current events, yoga, and black history. They also open and operated 65 survival programs and ran “The Black Panther” newspaper which was read by men and women of all color, not just black community and had a circulation of over 250,000. Emory Douglas designed and published much of his artwork in “The Black Panther” and became a potent symbol of the movement. 

Take Away:

Photo by Stephen Shames

My understanding of the Black Panther Party was, and still is, largely incomplete, and it probably will forever be because people and cultures and humanity are not easily explained or defined. 

And I love that and think it appropriate because the unknown leads to wonder and begs for curiosity. Look at the faces above, especially the woman at left-center holding the poster, and Humanity is there. Pain, sorrow, fear, and pride. A longing for a better life and a hope that it can come. But in these faces, there is also doubt.  Doubt in the system and doubt in mankind.  

They lived in a world that allowed the incomplete and simple to be the whole story, and in doing so, failed to understand and to humanize.

They believed in a single story. Much like today.

Ten-Point Program:

Photo by Stephen Shames

In every publication of "The Black Panther" ran the party's Ten-Point Program, which really, is not all that different than the letter sent across the sea by our nation's founding fathers.

It's only appropriate that it's posted here.

1.   
We Want Freedom. We Want Power To Determine
The Destiny Of Our Black Community.

We believe that Black people will not be free until we are able to determine our destiny.

2.   

We Want Full Employment For Our People.

We believe that the federal government is responsible and obligated to give every man employment or a guaranteed income. We believe that if the White American businessmen will not give full employment, then the means of production should be taken from the businessmen and placed in the community so that the people of the community can organize and employ all of its people and give a high standard of living.

3.   

We Want An End To The Robbery
By The Capitalists Of Our Black Community.

We believe that this racist government has robbed us, and now we are demanding the overdue debt of forty acres and two mules. Forty acres and two mules were promised 100 years ago as restitution for slave labor and mass murder of Black people. We will accept the payment in currency which will be distributed to our many communities. The Germans are now aiding the Jews in Israel for the genocide of the Jewish people. The Germans murdered six million Jews. The American racist has taken part in the slaughter of over fifty million Black people; therefore, we feel that this is a modest demand that we make.

4.   

We Want Decent Housing Fit For The Shelter Of Human Beings.

We believe that if the White Landlords will not give decent housing to our Black community, then the housing and the land should be made into cooperatives so that our community, with government aid, can build and make decent housing for its people.

5.   

We Want Education For Our People That Exposes
The True Nature Of This Decadent American Society.
We Want Education That Teaches Us Our True History
And Our Role In The Present-Day Society.

We believe in an educational system that will give to our people a knowledge of self. If a man does not have knowledge of himself and his position in society and the world, then he has little chance to relate to anything else.

6.   

We Want All Black Men To Be Exempt From Military Service.

We believe that Black people should not be forced to fight in the military service to defend a racist government that does not protect us. We will not fight and kill other people of color in the world who, like Black people, are being victimized by the White racist government of America. We will protect ourselves from the force and violence of the racist police and the racist military, by whatever means necessary.

7.   

We Want An Immediate End To
Police Brutality And Murder Of Black People.

We believe we can end police brutality in our Black community by organizing Black self-defense groups that are dedicated to defending our Black community from racist police oppression and brutality. The Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States gives a right to bear arms. We therefore believe that all Black people should arm themselves for self- defense.

8.   

We Want Freedom For All Black Men
Held In Federal, State, County And City Prisons And Jails.

We believe that all Black people should be released from the many jails and prisons because they have not received a fair and impartial trial.

9.   

We Want All Black People When Brought To Trial To Be Tried In
Court By A Jury Of Their Peer Group Or People From Their Black
Communities, As Defined By The Constitution Of The United States.

We believe that the courts should follow the United States Constitution so that Black people will receive fair trials. The Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution gives a man a right to be tried by his peer group. A peer is a person from a similar economic, social, religious, geographical, environmental, historical and racial background. To do this the court will be forced to select a jury from the Black community from which the Black defendant came. We have been, and are being, tried by all-White juries that have no understanding of the "average reasoning man" of the Black community.

10.

We Want Land, Bread, Housing, Education,
Clothing, Justice And Peace.

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and nature's God entitle them, a decent respect of the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That, to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that, whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and, accordingly, all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But, when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

For more on . . .

Stephen Thames photograph

The revolutionary art of Emory Douglas

The Black Panther's Vanguard of the Revolution film and page

Solution: #EatTogether

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Doubt and Gossip : Faith and Certainty, with Philip Seymour Hoffman

I can't stop thinking about this movie. Doubt, directed by John Patrick Shanley is a simple and chilling (literally) film that, unapologetically, exposes the hearts and minds of us all, warns us against pride and dogmatic practices, and pleads with us to be men and women defined by grace and kindness, not certainty. 

The story of Doubt is guided by a few choice sermons given by Philip Seymour Hoffman's character, Father Brendan Flynn. In or out of context, they are powerful and worth a watch.

His first is of the power and place of doubt within our lives:

Reminds me of the passage in Mark 9:24, "I believe; help my unbelief!" 

At the root of all humanity, doubt unites us all and should drive us toward a heart of compassion, not arrogance and piety. 

We all doubt. That's why faith is called, "faith," not certainty. 

The second sermon is on gossip:

"I know none of you have ever done this."

And may it never be. 

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Like little Leo

photo by Meg Loeks

It was when they all left the room, just after handing us bags full of personal hygiene items like toothpaste, deodorant, dry shampoo, socks, and other comfort gifts they give parents who find out their child has cancer, that we both broke down.

Meg Loeks, a photographer based in rural West Michigan, didn’t think much about the aches and pains her first-born son Leo was experiencing because they were so inconsistent- on one day, then off the next. She and her husband assumed they were growing pains. But the cycle seemed to linger, not abate. Meg reached out to a friend, who was also a nurse, and was told to bring little Leo in immediately.  They did. But after the nurse ran some blood tests, she sent them home thinking it might just be arthritis. It seemed like no big deal - Leo went to daycare and Dad went back to work. They carried on with the day as usual.

“The next morning around 10am” Meg recalls, “I received a phone call from our pediatrician saying we needed to pack our bags and head to our local children’s hospital immediately.” The blood results had come back. Leo didn’t have arthritis; he needed to be tested for leukemia.  “I don’t remember much else from the conversation. I called my husband, cried, and he left work to pick up Leo and come home so we could all go together.”

In the days that followed, before their first appointment with the oncologist, Meg and her family enjoyed the quiet days of summer – winter tucked away in boxes. “I remember the few days leading up to the first appointment because they were incredible. We didn’t do much at all. We just stayed home and played together. We played in our sprinkler and grilled out on our porch.”

By early June, they were meeting with Leo’s oncologist to discuss the results of his bone marrow test.

“I remember pacing in his hospital room,” Meg recalls, “Then a couple social workers walked in with toys for Leo to play with. My husband and I we were led to a conference room. I knew then that he had leukemia.”

“We sat down, and I remember the boxes of tissues in the middle of the conference table. There were no windows in the room. I looked over at my husband and asked, ‘So, is this good or bad news?’ He just shrugged, but we both knew. It wasn’t good.”

Leo’s oncologist didn’t waste any time. He told them Leo had leukemia. “All I remember was how grim he sounded. I know now he was just being sympathetic but at the time I thought that maybe Leo’s chances of survival were not very good. {The oncologist} had so many papers to give us and so much information. He told us we probably wouldn’t remember most of it and he was right. We don’t. Even though he was very kind I remember that I just wanted him to stop talking.”

photo by Meg Loeks

Looking back, what stands out the most about those first days?

“I remember feeling like I was suffocating. I remember thinking that there was a good possibility that my child might die. The one that made me a mother first. The one I had cloth diapered, made baby food for, and sent to the most expensive Montessori prep daycare since he was a baby. I remember trying to keep my composure and being surprised at myself that I didn’t really cry in front of the doctor. There were some tears but both my husband and I remained calm.

It was when they all left the room, just after handing us bags full of personal hygiene items like toothpaste, deodorant, dry shampoo, socks, and other comfort gifts they give parents who find out their child has cancer, that we both broke down. I honestly don’t think it was because they left the room that we both cried. It was those bags they gave us that made it seem real; that we had officially joined the parents we saw wandering the halls outside the conference room with their children who were fighting cancer.”

In the midst of this deep conflict, what truth(s) were revealed? About life?  About yourself? 

“Over the summer we stayed home a lot because the hospital visits exhausted all of us, and because Leo often didn't feel well. I think the greatest truth during this time was realizing the importance of childhood and the art of play. This is something that has always been a priority for my husband and I while raising our children. I know my parents influenced a lot of this because they always made time to play with my brother and I growing up. But it wasn't until a lot of that was taken away from my son that I realized how important it was. I realized that the best moments are often the ones created at home when we were doing absolutely nothing but being present and with each other. We didn't have to go off on some great adventure or hike to have a great time. The best memories from that summer involved us laying together in our hammock and playing with the boy’s bubble machine in our front yard.”

What role did your photography play in this process?  Was it a distraction from the worry?  A medium to explain the pain?  Or an aid in the healing? 

“I think photography was a little bit of all of that for me during the first few days. It was so easy to lose track of time in the hospital, and I constantly craved fresh air and to be outside. Whenever my husband and I would trade spots at the hospital, one of the first things I would do once I arrived home was head outside with my camera.”

“While at the hospital, I felt the need to document this moment in time for Leo. I wanted him to be able to look back and see all that he had accomplished. It was interesting for me too because I'm not a documentary photographer, but photographing my son at the hospital forced me to be one. I captured everything... the IV tower he was constantly hooked up to, the walks around the hospital he had daily, the train set he loved to play with in the playroom on his floor. I think it was therapeutic for me to capture these moments but then again photography always has been.”

Too often we try and protect ourselves from heartache and pain, and all too often, we fail, because heartache and pain and suffering are a part of life; they’re unavoidable. But they’re also essential. When life suddenly shifts, when it's giant cracks violently rip open, forcing us to our knees, we reach out and cling to what is important, what is true, and to what matters most. Like simple moments with family on a summer evening. And community.

According to Joseph Campbell, ancient civilizations used to hold tribe rites every year to prepare the community to endure the season of terrible cold that was to come. They did not try to keep it at bay but instead prepared to endure it – together.

Just days after Leo's diagnosis, Meg Loeks and her family were not alone. "I logged onto my social media accounts and saw several images of children dressed in superhero gear," Meg recalls. Click-in Moms, a community of photographers of which Meg is a member of, began to capture superhero-related images  to help the Loeks family endure the terrible season that was to come. They were tagged #strengthforleo, and they were, for Leo, his family, and the community. Because communities endure - together.

Tribulation, great and small, reminds us of what is truly valuable, that we are not alone, and that there is hope. Hope that we will be refined, that through the strength of community we can endure, and that, in the midst of the pain, there is purpose.

Like little Leo.

After months of uncertainty, of treatments and visits to the hospital, Leo is doing incredible. He's in remission and currently in the last phase of his leukemia treatment which will continue till August of 2019. He now receives monthly chemotherapy instead of weekly, and his hair is starting to grow back. He's attending school full time.

Meg and her husband have daily reminders of how they could have lost their first born and how their life could be very different. But they also have the memory of a kind oncologist who gave them hope, and it is something Meg will never forget. “He told us statistics show that children who have fought cancer often grow to be successful leaders later on in life. I remember being moved by this because he was being thoughtful and humanistic... something I think many doctors appear to lack. His kindness gave us hope that everything was going to be ok.”

Hope, like love, is strengthened when tested by deep adversity, and can only be fully realized when shared. Thank you, Meg Loeks (and family), for being vulnerable, for sharing your story, and reminding us of the importance of seeing the beauty in the everyday moments. Thank you for reminding us of hope.

See more of Meg Loeks's inspiring work at Megloeks.com or on Instagram @meg_nlo. 

If you have a story you'd like to share, please, let me know.

Click, for more on . . .

Photography  :  Real People  :  Humanity

Three Beautiful Human Minutes by Asger Leth

Asger Leth is a director and writer, known for Man on a Ledge (2012), The Five Obstructions (2003) and Ghosts of Cité Soleil (2006).

Mapping US Presidents

Wait But Why published this map in his two-part blog, "It's Going to be Okay." 

Dividing the two groups of men by political parties seemed too simple - almost unfair.

So I Googled "maps of US Presidents" and found this one:

The Washington Post printed this one:

Both were enlightening in terms of how closely most of our presidents were raised and educated and in which part of the country seems to raise up presidential leaders, but neither gave a deeper understanding in terms of specifics - did all republican presidents come from the south? Can a state produce a president from both parties? Is our country divided so simply?

This one gave a bit more clarity:

The Washington Post also added this, A few interesting observations:

* Ohio is the birthplace of seven presidents, second only to Virginia's eight. But, Ohio hasn't elected a president since Warren Harding in 1920. And Harding didn't even last a full term, dying in 1923. (Random Warren Harding factoid: His size 14 shoes were the largest of any president.)

* Texas' two native-born presidents aren't who you think they are.  Neither George H.W. Bush (Massachusetts) nor George W. Bush (Connecticut) were born in the Lone Star State. The two? Lyndon Johnson and Dwight Eisenhower. (Eisenhower was born in Denison, Texas.)

* Vermont is the smallest state with the biggest presidential punch as the birthplace of both Chester Arthur and Calvin Coolidge.

* California has produced only a single president -- and it was Republican Richard Nixon.

From these simple maps, I wonder if a few more observations, or perhaps reminders, can be made:

* Defining a man or woman based on their political party is too simple and unfair

* We may disagree on many things, but we are all united on at least on BIG thing - we're all Americans, and we all want what's best for our country.

* Although Hillary may not have been the best fit, it is time for a female president

* We've survived many presidents, good and bad, and have endured several hardships. There's no reason to think we won't continue to do so.

* Unless we fail to come together, when we forget that we're white and black and everything in between, We are protestant, Jew, gentile, Muslim, and atheist. We're Republicans. We're Democrats. And we're neither. But above all, we're Americans. And above even that, we're human.

* When we allow the smaller differences to define us, we lose sight of all that we have in common. And when we simplify the larger differences, we ignore the many small and beautiful ways that we are similar. 

Sarah Kay: Project Voice

Sarah Kay is the founder and co-director of Project Voice which uses "spoken poetry to entertain, educate, and inspire" and is "dedicated to promoting empowerment, improving literacy, and encouraging empathy and creative collaboration in classrooms and communities around the world."

She's published a book of poems entitled "No Matter the Wreckage" and has several other projects worth hanging out with.  Projects like, Veterans Day 2011: Faces of Service, “B” with Sophia Janowitz, Square One - a "one-woman show about Charlotte Kramer, who is trying to check things off her list," and many more.

This poem, "An Origin Story" is about the many strange coincidences surrounding that her and her friend Phil share. You watch watch them try and explain it here.

When the fire takes all you have, my home will be your home. When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again and again. When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming because we all sound the same under water. When Ellis Island tries to erase your past, I will call you by your real name. When they call your number for the draft, I will enlist to fight beside you and I will march with you from Selma to Montgomery and back as many times as it takes. We will stand together against the hoses and the dogs because it didn’t start with us. It started with Lennon and McCartney. It started with Thelma and Louise, Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin, Bert and Ernie, Abbott and Costello, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Mario and Luigi, Watson and Sherlock, Pikachu and Charizard. And they can tell you what a miracle this is. They can tell you how rare this is. But they could tell you how rare friendship always is. The chances are slim. The cards are always stacked against you, the odds are always low. But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you and I choose both. I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save some for later. I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard. Friend. I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself. I want to be the air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy. When the walls come down, when the thunder rumbles, when nobody else is home, hold my hand and I promise, I won’t let go.

For more poems, videos, and information on Sarah Kay, click here.

How Does it Feel : Patti Smith

PHOTOGRAPH BY PHILIP MONTGOMERY / THE NEW YORK TIMES / REDUX

By now, we all know the story of Patti Smith faltering during Dylan's Nobel Price ceremony.

Beautiful. In spite of and perhaps even more so because of the such obvious failure.  In an interview with the New Yorker Patti Smith shared that she "conflicting emotions." "In his absence," she asked herself, "was I qualified for the task?" She didn't want to displease Bob Dylan. But she committed herself to it and decided to sing 'A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall, a song she "'loved since {she} was a teen-ager, a favorite of {her} late husband."

Then she fell, and fell hard. When she took her seat, she "felt the humiliating sting of failure, but also the strong realization that I had somehow entered and truly lived the world of the lyrics."

When I arose the next morning, it was snowing. In the breakfast room, I was greeted by many of the Nobel scientists. They showed appreciation for my very public struggle. They told me I did a good job. I wish I would have done better, I said. No, no, they replied, none of us wish that. For us, your performance seemed a metaphor for our own struggles. Words of kindness continued through the day, and in the end I had to come to terms with the truer nature of my duty. Why do we commit our work? Why do we perform? It is above all for the entertainment and transformation of the people. It is all for them. The song asked for nothing. The creator of the song asked for nothing. So why should I ask for anything?

When my husband, Fred, died, my father told me that time does not heal all wounds but gives us the tools to endure them. I have found this to be true in the greatest and smallest of matters. Looking to the future, I am certain that the hard rain will not cease falling, and that we will all need to be vigilant. The year is coming to an end; on December 30th, I will perform “Horses” with my band, and my son and daughter, in the city where I was born. And all the things I have seen and experienced and remember will be within me, and the remorse I had felt so heavily will joyfully meld with all other moments. Seventy years of moments, seventy years of being human.

A metaphor for our own struggles - of being human. And beautiful.

You can read the full lyrics here.

And watch Dylan sing it here.

Embrace the Shake

One of my favorites. 

PostSecret : Thoughts and Deeds That Expose Us All

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Their secrets are posted every Sunday.

Some are funny and innocent.

Some are not.

All, in a strange way, are relatable.

We all understand pain, embarrassment, and loneliness.

In the social media age, putting the best images, ideas, and moments of ourselves forward is expected. Which, in moments of despair and grief, isolates even more. 

To steal a concept from Stranger Things, PostSecret reveals the Upside Down dimension - the existing yet hidden parallel dimension of sorrow and fear inhabited by all human beings.

All human beings.

So even if we've never done this:

we can all relate to having our own secrets of stupidity that have been tucked away in the attic of shame and regret, only be unpacked and shared on a postcard. Not Facebook.

We are beautiful and wonderful, we are flawed and broken, and we all carry secrets.

The Dream of Dr. King, with the help of a Queen

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s speech at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963 was unusual among great American speeches in that its most famous words — “I have a dream” — were improvised. - Drew Henson, NY Times

Without question, Dr. King's "I Have A Dream Speech" is not only one of the most famous speeches of American history, it is one of the most iconic moments. And it almost didn't happen.

Several historians and friends of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. have shared that at the most critical and crucial moment of Dr. King's Speech, he went off script, stumbled for just a moment, then, with the encouragement of Mahalia Jackson, shared his beloved dream.

"King read from his prepared text for most of his speech," Henson writes, relying heavily on "the Bible, the constitution and the Declaration of Independence - just as President John F. Kennedy had a few months earlier."

But according to Economist Tim Hartford, Dr. King never seemed satisfied with what he had. In addition to staying up late the night before, editing and re-editing, he also scratched and marked his speech in the back seat of the car on the way to the Washington Memorial and even on stage while waiting his turn. But even then, Dr. King knew something was missing. So about six minutes into his speech, Dr. King looked down at the script, his well crafted but "a little bit lifeless" script and realized it wasn't working.

So he improvised.

The line Dr. King was supposed to say was "Go back to our communities as members of the international association for the advancement of creative dissatisfaction." 

Instead, he says:

Then, Dr King paused.  The people behind him knew he no longer was on script, and it was then that history was made. 

Mahalia Jackson, the Queen of Gospel, had long been a supporter of Dr. King and the "no-famous bus boycott that lunged the modern Civil Rights Movement," and she had heard him, on more than one occasion, tell his dream of "seeing little Negro boys and girls walking to school with little white boys and girls, playing in the parks together and swimming together"(History.com). And she knew the people needed to hear it.

When Dr. King begin to speak from the heart and not the script, when she sensed a brief pause of thought, she yelled out, "Tell 'em about the dream Martin."

So he did.

You can read his scripted/unscripted script here.

"When we allow freedom to ring-when we let it ring from every city and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all (If God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last, Free at last, Great God a-mighty, We are free at last."

Jump!

Philippe Halsman was a renowned portrait photographer who was particularly active in the 40s, 50s, and 60s and most famous for his iconic photos of Salvador Dali and Albert Einstein. For a period in the 1950s, Halsman ended his portrait shoots by asking his famous subjects to jump. The results were disarming.

When you ask a person to jump, his attention is mostly directed toward the act of jumping and the mask falls so that the real person appears.

Halsman got all sorts of people to jump for his camera: Richard Nixon (above), Robert Oppenheimer, Marilyn Monroe (above), Aldous Huxley, Audrey Hepburn (above), Brigitte Bardot, and the Duke & Duchess of Windsor (above). He collected all his jump photos into the recently re-released Philippe Halsman’s Jump Book.

Repost from kottke.org

First off, kottke.org is just a great resource for fun information so thanks to kottke for yet another inspiration/stolen post!

Second, what's so great about these pictures is the "other side" of those being photographed - the "real person." Everyone has a child inside, often hidden and suppressed by expectations, judgements, and "maturity." Jumping seems to be the key to unlocking the cage. If only for a little while.

Thanks Philippe Halsman for the great photos!