Zuzu, my four year old, is desperate to read. She loves looking at the pictures in her books but she wants to be able to understand the words too. We’ve tried to satiate her desire to read by looking at sight word flashcards together. One of the first cards we flipped over was AND. No doubt she understands that word. Despite her familiarity with it, she scrunched up her face and with a wrinkled nose asked, “What does AND mean?”
Such a simple, easy, complex, difficult question. I tried to explain that it was an additive. It adds more to something. Not exactly a great “explain it like I’m five response,” so I offered some examples.
“Like babies and”
Zuzu quickly finished my example by shouting “milkshakes!”
I was thinking about babies and bottles. She was right though. Milkshakes make just about anything better. And shouldn’t we be looking for as many opportunities as possible to add value to our lives and the lives of others too? We should add just one more AND when we talk to our family, our friends, and our colleagues. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time AND I can’t wait to work with you again.
In the course of our daily trek, we often stop short of a much needed AND. Worse yet, we often become takers. We subtract from others. With the best intentions of all those who were present, I met with a team of teachers to discuss a student who struggled academically. One by one, each teacher offered up their view of the student with the same sentence frame. He (insert vague positive comment) BUT he (insert numerous perceived shortcomings.) The clause following BUT does the opposite of adding value. Each BUT chiseled away at the perceived value of that child.
BUT. That was not one of the sight words that my daughter was learning which is probably for the best. She likely would have run around the house shaking her butt or screamed about our dog Murphy having a furry butt. The humor of a four year old. If that was one of our sight words, not only would I have had to explain the difference between butt and but, I would also have had to talk about how BUT is a negative. It negates. Dinner was good, BUT the steak was overcooked. Treyvon is a really talented kid, BUT he doesn’t do any of the work I assign him.
Perhaps unintentionally, BUT erases anything that was spoken previously. My wife only heard, the steak was overcooked. Treyvon only heard that he doesn’t do any of his work. BUT negates words that might have inspired good feelings or helped to build up someone’s self-esteem. BUT doesn’t solve problems, or look to the future. BUT has a finality to it. AND is hopeful. AND leaves room for growth. If we can exchange but for and, we may find ourselves adding value to others. Dinner was good AND I can’t wait to help you make breakfast in the morning. Treyvon is a really talented kid AND we are working together to help him develop a system for tracking his assignments. By swapping BUT for AND the good feelings remain and new opportunities manifest.
Considering the value of AND, I’d like to finish with a quick edit to my intro. My four year old is desperate to read. She loves looking at the pictures in her books AND she wants to be able to understand the words too. As is, the book already has value and it can offer so much more when she understands the words. Those we encounter each day, our colleagues, our students, they all have value exactly as they are, and let’s add to that with just one more AND.
If you have an idea you’d like to share or someone you believe we could all benefit from, please reach out and let me know! I am eager to share your story.
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