The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar, by This American Life

The best stories are the one's that are about something so much more than the actual story.

This is one of those stories, and it's one of my favorites. Ever.

In 1912 a four-year-old boy named Bobby Dunbar went missing in a swamp in Louisiana. Eight months later, he was found in the hands of a wandering handyman in Mississippi. In 2004, Bobby Dunbar's granddaughter discovered a secret beneath the legend of her grandfather's kidnapping, a secret whose revelation would divide her own family, bring redemption to another, and become the answer to a third family's century-old prayer (via).

You can listen to it here and read the transcript here.

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-N- Stuff  :  Podcasts

Monica Lewinsky: The Price of Shame

At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss. At the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences. Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake. And I regret that mistake deeply. In 1998, after being swept up in an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal, and media maelstrom like we had never seen before. It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the internet for a major news story. A click that reverberated around the world. What that meant for me personally was that overnight, I went from a complete private figure, to a publicly humiliated one. Worldwide.

A few months ago I listened to Monica Lewinsky share her story on the podcast To Endure, by TED Radio Hour. The whole hour is worth listening to but Ms. Lewinsky's story, starting at minute marker 30:56, is truly inspiring, and revealing, and I strongly encourage you listen to the the interview. I thought it better than the TED Talk because, like she says from the TED stage, "It was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional." And she's right. This interview provided, perhaps for the first time in my life, empathy towards her and her plight. 

I was only fifteen-ish when the story broke, but my understanding of her then and up until I listened to her story was most certainly, one dimensional. Because it was easy. And because, if I'm honest, I didn't really care that much to change it. Now, I'm eager to.

Here is another dimension of Monica Lewinsky.

We need to return to being a culture of compassion. Compassion and empathy.

Since the scandal of '98, Monica Lewinsky went on to receive a Masters in Social Psychology from the London School of Economics and Political Science. In 2014, she released an essay for Vanity Fair named "Shame and Survival," which was nominated for a National Magazine Award. She's currently involved with anti-bullying projects in the U.S. and U.K. (via). 

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Dangers of a Single Story  :  Humanity  :  TED Talks

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Some things are hard to forget.

Tom Sitter won The Moth in Madison StorySLAM at the High Noon Saloon February 13, 2017. Tom scored our first ever 10 with his winning story tonight. The memory of the girls he carefully selected to give his five valentines to in 1933 was strong enough that 84 years later he still knew their names.

The Moth StorySLAMs are open-mic storytelling competitions. Storyteller hopefuls put their names in a hat. During the evening ten names are picked, and one by one, storytellers take the stage. The ten featured stories are scored by teams of judges selected from the audience. Each StorySLAM generates a StorySLAM winner. After ten SLAMs, the winners face off in our GrandSLAM Championships.

I think we can all remember some of the first girls or boys that stole our hearts, or distracted our minds. Unfortunately, some of us even have names burned into our memory that we'd like to take for walks, next to busy intersections.

I don't have any such names. But sadly, I think I am several people's name.  

And that's pretty embarrassing. 

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  The Moth  :  Real People

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Radiolab : a fifteen year celebration

Radiolab recently turned 15 years old and to celebrate, they made an episode that replayed portions of the very first show (when it was called The Radio Lab) and a podcast from the first season (which was about time and featured Oliver Sacks).

"15 years ago the very first episode of Radiolab, fittingly called "Firsts," hit the airwaves. It was a 3-hour long collection of documentaries and musings produced by a solitary sleep-deprived producer named Jad Abumrad. Things have changed a bit since then" (via).

For more on . . .

-N- Stuff  :  Podcasts on how Russia saved the word . . . three times

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I will be sending an email soon of some great podcast stations and favorite podcasts.

Ken Robinson : Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Great watch, whether you're an educator or not, because his thoughts on creativity and intelligence apply to us all. Plus, he's just truly entertaining.

I love his thoughts on intelligence, that it is "is dynamic and wonderfully interactive." And that it's diverse, dynamic, and distinct. 

Creativity, he says, "is having original ideas that have value."

Sir Ken has also published, "The Element: How Finding your Passion Changes Everything."

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There was an (ahem) operations error and it didn't go through (sorry about that).

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-N- Stuff  :  TED talks  :  Inspiration

Beware! The Muslims are coming!

From TED Radio Hour

I enjoyed this Ted Radio Hour show for various reasons. One, it reminded me to not be too serious and to laugh more about hardships and turmoils. But more importantly, I appreciated these two speakers, Maysoon Sayid and Negin Farsad because their stories, told with humor, are trying to break down stereotypes and prejudices and are bringing people together. 

Negin Farsad has even taken her mission off the stage and into the street, setting up booths, making pastries, and asking if anyone has any questions about Islam. And when people ask, when they truly sit down and ask honest questions, questions like, "Why do some Muslim women look like you, and some Muslim women you can't tell who they are? Like if they robbed a bank, you wouldn't be able to tell who they are?" or "I don't understand, I mean, you're dressed like an American" - "I am American" she interrupts - "Okay . . ." and "Tell me why I haven't seen Muslims who are not extremist criticizing the Muslims who are?" walls begin to crumble.

In order for community and unity to be found, for ignorance to be beaten, somebody has to be strong. Kind. And bigger than the situation, than themselves.  They must, "remain delightful" because, "you'll attract more bees with honey." Which also means, sometimes, those holding the honey will have to endure the stings of the ignorant and cruel.

Negin and her fellow traveling comedians made a movie about this project called, "The Muslims are Coming." 

Soon thereafter, a known hate group spent 300,000 dollars on an ANTI MUSLIM poster campaign. 

Negin and her crew responded with a "Fighting Bigotry with Delightful Posters" campaign. They raised the money, worked with the city of NY for over five months, and got the posters approved.

The posters said things like, "Fact. Grown up Muslims can do more pushups than baby Muslims!"

But then, two days after they were supposed to go up, they were banned for "political content."

Despite this and other obstacles, like death threats, Negin says she still things Social Justice Comedy is one of the greatest weapons against bigotry. "I have performed in red states and blue states, and one thing I've found," she explains, "is that the American people are not built to hate. They want to be friendly and they want to offer you a coffee and open the door for you." They want to be good neighbors.

Because "if you approach people with love," Negin argues, "you get love in return." Muslim or not.

Once more Ms. Adichie's words come to mind, "Single stories create stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but incomplete."

Remain delightful, because the Muslims are coming, and many of them carry honey.

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-N- Stuff  :  Humanity  :  TED Talks

Raising Girls : Brave, Courageous, Adventurous

Gutsy girls skateboard, climb trees, clamber around, fall down, scrape their knees, get right back up — and grow up to be brave women (via).

This really challenged me. With two girls, both with very different personalities, these . . . truths, are appropriate.

Eden is extremely timid by nature, shy, and sensitive. She holds hurts longer than the other two kids and needs longer to work through her frustrations. Her spirit is gentle. She also loves adventures, camping, and exploring, just like her Mom. My challenge for her, then, is to encourage the pushing of the boundaries, to build her confidence, and to provide opportunities where she can succeed (and fail) outside her comfort zone. Because she will need the push.

Zion will need the leash. She has little fear, runs without worry, and jumps without asking. She is often covered in mud and scrapes, with little twigs stuck in her head of curls, and I don't want to squash this fearlessness. For her, my task is to help guide, to provide avenues where she can pursue it with limited danger (the risk assessment Caroline mentioned), so as to encourage it and grow it. Her concept of girl has no limitations, and I want to keep it that way. I want her to be #likeagirl.

Brave, courageous, adventurous. These are what I want my girls to be. But also honest, sincere, kind, and loyal. I want them to be women of character. Women of humility and integrity. 

Woman worthy of the title. 

Caroline Paul is an American writer of fiction and non-fiction. She was raised in Connecticut, and educated in journalism and documentary film at Stanford University (via).

Caroline has published four books:

The Gutsy Girl: Escapades for Your Life of Epic Adventure

East, Wind, Rain: A Novel

Fighting Fire

Lost Cat: A Trust Story of Love, Desperation, and GPS Technology

For more on . . .

Raising Daughters  :  TED Talks  :  On Parenting

Superheroes hold umbrellas and cut hair

Ivy a few months post surgery with Avery and Melanie (photo from The Moth)

The Moth has recently published two powerful stories of kindness and love. Of the kind that boost our spirits and remind us of the beauty of humanity - even in the midst of darkness.

(Click on the links to listen to their stories.)

In Tim Manley's roughly eight minute story, A Super Hero Gets Sick, he tells of when, as a boy, he become deeply sick. He was terrified of needles and didn't quiet understand all that was happening, as most young kids don't. But what he does know keeps him calm: his mother is at his side because she is his faithful sidekick - as any good superhero must have. 

Told several years after the event, Tim provides a beautiful picture of parents and the storms they shielded from their children, while we play with the raindrops that fall gently from the rings of their umbrellas, completely unaware of their fears, their pain, and their tears. 

A picture of Tim in his superhero outfit, hanging in his mother’s house. Photo courtesy Tim Manley.

The second story is from Melanie Kostrzewa. Told from a parents perspective, Melanie shares of the time her young daughter must undergo a craniotomy, the frustration of not being able to do anything, and the unexpected kindness of a doctor who did more than just save her daughter's life, he saved her hair.

Ivy a few months post surgery with Avery (photo from The Moth)

Ivy post surgery at home a few days later (photo from The Moth)

Walking to Listen : 4,000 Miles Across America, One Story at a Time

Andrew Forsthoefel is an author, speaker, and peace activist living in the Pioneer Valley of western Massachusetts. After graduating from college, he spent eleven months trekking across the United States with a sign on his pack that read “Walking to Listen,” recording interviews with the people he met along the way. He co-produced a radio documentary about this project that was featured on Transom.org and This American Life.

His book, Walking to Listen tells the tale of the journey.

"Every one of us has an extraordinary story worth hearing, and I’m walking the country to listen. There’s no such thing as the Average Joe, no such thing as a boring, uninteresting, unexceptional life (for more on this, see this poem by Yevgeny Yevtushenko). This walk is to honor that. Life is fast, and I’ve found it’s easy to confuse the miraculous for the mundane, so I’m slowing down, way down, in order to give my full presence to the extraordinary that infuses each moment and resides in every one of us. We’re a country of great diversities and divisions; sharing stories, I think, is one way to find resonance" (via)

The Moth recently shared one of the many stories from Andrew's journey, one where Andrew "meets a man who tests the limits of his compassion and makes him see his project in a new light". You can listen to it here.

For more on . . .

Stories  :  Humanity  :  Power of Stories

9 TED Talks From Writers

We love a good TED Talk. What better way to celebrate this awesome media than witha roundup of talks by nine kickass authors? Whether you are looking for a talk on fear and imagination, or poetry and animation—we have something for you. Just follow the links below.

Roxane Gay

We can’t stop talking about how thrilled we are to have the incredible Roxane Gay as the judge for our sixth anthology. She has established herself as a fiction writer, essayist, and astute cultural critic. Her TED Talk covers the difficulties of reaching a perfect feminist ideal, and why it’s important to keep trying anyway. Watch the talk here!

Lidia Yuknavitch

Lidia Yuknavitch is an Oregon writer who has written both a memoir and several novels. Her TED Talk shares her own journey through life, and her realizations of self-acceptance along the way.

John Green

John Green is the bestselling author of multiple novels, including Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, and The Fault in Our Stars. His TED Talk is focused on different styles of learning, and how he fell in love with online video. Go on, check it out.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth Gilbert is an American author who is best known for her 2006 memoir Eat, Pray, Love. Her TED Talk deconstructs the idea of “being” a genius, and then continues with the supposition that all people “have” a genius. Watch it now.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a Nigerian novelist, and she was awarded the MacArthur Genius Grant in 2008. Her TED Talk is on the importance of multiple viewpoints, whether they are about a country, a people, or a person. Check it out here.

Elif Shafak

Elif Shafak is a Turkish author, writing in both Turkish and English, and she is the most widely read female author in Turkey. Her TED Talk explains the power of fiction, and the empathy it engenders, in overcoming identity politics.

Karen Thompson Walker

Karen Thompson Walker is an American novelist, best known for her novel The Age of Miracles. Her TED Talk describes how fear shapes imagination by making us imagine possible futures, and her talk is centered around the story of the whaleship Essex. Take a gander.

Billy Collins

Billy Collins is an American poet, and he was the Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001 to 2003. His TED Talk combines the written word and visual art, as he shares the story of how his poems became animated films in a collaboration with Sundance Channel.

Jarred McGinnis

Jarred McGinnis is an American author currently based in London, who has mainly focused on writing short fiction. His TED Talk shares his passion for stories, and demonstrates the wonders of fiction as a magical force in his life. Check it.

by Kimberly Guerin

For more on . . .

Ted Talks  :  Stories  :  Writing

Simon Sinek : Start with Why

Simon O. Sinek is a British/American author, motivational speaker and marketing consultant. He is the author of three books including the 2009 best seller Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. Wikipedia

His books include:

Start with Why

Find your Why

Together is Better

Leaders Eat Last

For more on . . .

Simon Sinek  :  Ted Talks  :  Inspiration

The Process of Procrastination

Tim Urban has become one of the Internet’s most popular writers. With wry stick-figure illustrations and occasionally epic prose on everything from procrastination to artificial intelligence, Urban's blog, Wait But Why, has garnered millions of unique page views, thousands of patrons and famous fans like Elon Musk (Ted.com).

According to Tim Urban, his responsibilities include:

• Writing posts every Tuesday every Wednesday about his psychological shortcomings
• Picking a topic for the week’s post before realizing it’s icky after diving in and thinking “if only I were doing that other topic it would be so much easier”; switching to that other topic and realizing it’s incredibly icky too
• Opening three Chrome windows with 42 research tabs in each, just short of getting to that stressful zone where you can’t see the icon on the tabs anymore
• Pacing around in his underwear hating himself
• Drawing stick figures at a 2nd 4th grade skill level
• Drawing head circles ten times before finally drawing one that looks normal
• Not being an expert on things he writes about
• Getting yelled at by people who think he thinks he’s an expert on things he writes about
• Getting scolded by people for using profanity in writing
• Passionately underestimating how long each post will take to do

You can read his full dramatic nightmare story of what it was like to do a TED Talk

Sarah Kay: Project Voice

Sarah Kay is the founder and co-director of Project Voice which uses "spoken poetry to entertain, educate, and inspire" and is "dedicated to promoting empowerment, improving literacy, and encouraging empathy and creative collaboration in classrooms and communities around the world."

She's published a book of poems entitled "No Matter the Wreckage" and has several other projects worth hanging out with.  Projects like, Veterans Day 2011: Faces of Service, “B” with Sophia Janowitz, Square One - a "one-woman show about Charlotte Kramer, who is trying to check things off her list," and many more.

This poem, "An Origin Story" is about the many strange coincidences surrounding that her and her friend Phil share. You watch watch them try and explain it here.

When the fire takes all you have, my home will be your home. When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again and again. When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming because we all sound the same under water. When Ellis Island tries to erase your past, I will call you by your real name. When they call your number for the draft, I will enlist to fight beside you and I will march with you from Selma to Montgomery and back as many times as it takes. We will stand together against the hoses and the dogs because it didn’t start with us. It started with Lennon and McCartney. It started with Thelma and Louise, Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin, Bert and Ernie, Abbott and Costello, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Mario and Luigi, Watson and Sherlock, Pikachu and Charizard. And they can tell you what a miracle this is. They can tell you how rare this is. But they could tell you how rare friendship always is. The chances are slim. The cards are always stacked against you, the odds are always low. But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you and I choose both. I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save some for later. I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard. Friend. I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself. I want to be the air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy. When the walls come down, when the thunder rumbles, when nobody else is home, hold my hand and I promise, I won’t let go.

For more poems, videos, and information on Sarah Kay, click here.

Dangers of A Single Story - Chimamanda Adichie

 Good God, Chimamanda Adichie is good. 

You can read the transcript here.

Here is a list of Mrs. Adichie's books. Amazon doesn't carry them all.

• Decisions
• For Love of Biafra
• Purpose Hibiscus 
• Half of a Yellow Sun
• The Thing Around Your Neck
• Americanah
• We Should All be Feminists 

Embrace the Shake

One of my favorites.