I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, primarily because I think there is a bit more to this.
Yes, if bosses limit their employees' growth out of fear that they might leave, they are indeed bad bosses. However, this relationship seems rare only because if that is how a boss treats their employees, they’re selfish and near-sighted. And if they are selfish and near-sighted, there is probably a great deal more dysfunction in the workplace that is already causing people to leave.
What is more common and less obvious is that the boss withholds opportunities for advancement or personal growth because they are intimidated by their employee's knowledge, success, or confidence.
Insecure bosses often need to flex their power by denying simple things like vacations, training, or ideas. They will create discord among colleagues and isolate potential threats (people or ideas) out of self-preservation. And more often than not, this is done unconsciously.
Most bad bosses don’t wake up wanting to be bad bosses. Like the rest of us, they want to help, support, and encourage those they lead. However, their insecurity and desire to be respected easily and unintentionally cloud their judgment.
When questioned or challenged on an idea, they take it personally rather than making it personal. They get defensive rather than curious or open.
When a new way of thinking is presented, they quickly find reasons why it won’t work rather than how they help and support it.
Instead of celebrating the room's brightness, when others are successful or celebrated, a lousy boss fears another’s light will extinguish their own.
As a boss, I fear that I am all these things. Not intentionally, of course, but because I am human and want to be lauded and applauded - if only as affirmation that I’m doing a good job - I fear I can quickly and easily fall victim to these traps.
Asking myself, “Why am I saying no?” or “Why am I feeling defensive?” can often help reveal my heart and intentions and bring me back to where I need and want to be as a leader. As someone who cares more about the people than the task.
Thank you, Adam Grant, for the reminder.