I'll admit it, without shame, that this podcast was by far my favorite from this past week. It's fantastically convicting and encouraging, and it's also deeply human.
Here's the summary as written by On Being:
What if the first question we asked on a date were, "How are you crazy? I'm crazy like this"? Philosopher and writer Alain de Botton's essay "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person" was one of the most-read articles in The New York Times in recent years. As people and as a culture, he says, we would be much saner and happier if we reexamined our very view of love. Nowhere do we realistically teach ourselves and our children how love deepens and stumbles, survives and evolves over time, and how that process has much more to do with ourselves than with what is right or wrong about our partner. The real work of love is not in the falling, but in what comes after.
Whether you're married, dating, single, or a combination of them all, check this podcast out. It's a keeper.
- This one came to me from my sister, thanks Jenna! -
"The human brain has become one of the main capitol resources in our economy", yet our understanding of attention and multitasking - of the impacts of text messages and emails - is extremely limited (Did you know it takes your brain, roughly, 20 minutes to switch from task to task? I didn't).
After listening to this podcast, I have a lot of simple (yet profound) changes to make. And not just for productivity sake, but for life and happiness and for cultivating deep relationships (coincided with The True Hard Work of Love and Relationships, the practicality of this podcast increases significantly).
: Habits of Systematic Mindfulness :
No social media
Set strict hours of work
Plan out day
Don't let mood dictate how the day will go
Get comfortable with annoying people
Set expectations of availability
No quick answers
Tally hours of "deep work"
Block out "deep work hours" well in advance
Create a Shutting Down ritual
Leave nothing hanging
Say a mantra out loud, something like, "Schedule shutdown complete."
3. Declutter, by The Minimalists
They don't like advertisements. But really, they don't need them, because they do enough of it themselves.
To get to the sauce of this podcast, you'll have to endure more then enough self-promotions, casual links to their books, essays, and ways you can support them, but in the end, it's all worth it. And by end I mean the first 20 minutes or so because that's where they wrestle with and answer some pretty great questions. Questions like:
- What is one thing you always thought you wanted, but then, once you got it, you no longer wanted it?
- How do you gradually declutter your home?
- How do you explain greed in our society?
You can stop listening after these, if you're stretched for time, it does get a bit too preachy. But there's still good stuff in there.
I've never been a huge Lance or Tour de France fan, but I am a fan of this podcast mainly because it wrestles with the process of reconciliation, personally, relationally, and (for those unfortunate few) publicly.
At the time I listened to this I was dealing with a difficult relationship, still am actually, but at that particular time it was a very broken relationship (no, I won't tell you who it is) and Lance's journey, his thought process and his full circle of understanding hit home.
Here's an excerpt from my favorite section, where Lance is describing why he finally took ownership of what he did and stopped trying to convince everyone (and himself) why he was being seen and treated unfairly.
Look, “betrayal” is a terrible word. It’s a word that nobody wants, a child to their parent or friend to another friend, a spouse to a spouse, a C.E.O. to — whatever. It’s a very heavy word. Complicit is 100x. For me, I had already started to get my mind and my heart around the fact that people had suffered this tremendous amount of betrayal, and then I was hit with complicit. And it just — it rocked me to the core. But it was, I tell you, it was the greatest — her name is Melissa — it was the greatest gift that anybody has given me the last six years.
And the story he tells after this, the one where a guy is standing on a bar balcony yelling, "F*** you!" is just beautiful.
Okay, I'll be honest. I listened to this podcast over a year ago, but I've thought about it a lot recently, and many times in-between. Not only is she a great storyteller, but her conclusion of happiness (for her it's marriage but really, it can be anything - job, community, kids, whatever) is spot-on.
"The grass isn't greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it."
Sheesh, that's good. And so, so right.
I hope you enjoy! If you have any favorites, send em along! I'm sure I'll listen to them at one point or another.
If you want more, check out these top five favorites or peruse over here to your heart's content.
Thanks for reading!