I wanted to write some thoughts here because, although it doesn't align with the purpose of these hundred days, it defines today and hopefully some of the future.

Paternity leave allows a few extra minutes of the day where I can think and write, because my wife is kind and gracious. Today, I listened to a podcast that truly resonated with my recent frustrations of wanting more out of life, out of my creative pursuits, and out of the future. I've been frustrated and discouraged, and today, I hope, I found a little bit of liberation.

Here are two highlights from the podcast:

"Art is fun, because it’s humanity. It’s who and what we are." 

Josey says this often, and it's a dichotomy for me because, yes, art should be fun and it should be created in moments of inspiration and an overwhelming need to express who and what we are. But I also believe we cannot wait for inspiration. As Jack London says, "we have to go after it with a club." And sometimes, that isn't fun. 

I guess the better response, at least for me, is that if its never fun and always a drag, always difficult and a burden, than I need to evaluate why and how I'm doing what I'm doing. Perhaps the problem is at the root of the why. Like needing approval or popularity. Because I can see how that would steal all joy.

"We continue to make art so we can continue to communicate the way we feel of what this world has to offer."  Love this.

"Do, or do not, there is no try" – yoda

Mozart had to work hard. He may have been blessed to figure it out at a young age that he wanted to be a musician, but he still had to “trace” and steal from other artists. He still spent a large amount of time creating shitty works. But I forget that. I use the muse of his genius as an excuse to not try, because “I’m not Mozart."

And I'm not. 

But I am an artist, because I create art. And that's the point. Not to be Mozart, but to do. To create. To express and attempt to make sense of all that this world has to offer.

In future days, I hope I can look back on this day and say, "Yeah, that was sort of the beginning, the shifting of the sails, and a redirecting.

I hope.